Baltukhasar - Had Come To Jian Peak Abbey

Baltukhasar had come to Jian Peak Abbey because of a death. Jian Peak Abbot was one of the best killers in the world. He was also a purveyor of fine gigolos. Ironic, then, that a malodorous ragamuffin might have killed him. How the malodorous ragamuffin accomplished that was not clear. That scruffiest and least hygienic of rakes, the Poorest Beggar himself, was too old to be a gigolo and no match for Jian Peak Abbot. Had the villainous Count of Arlu arranged for the Abbot's death in order to secure access to an archaeological treasure?

Was that treasure destroyed by a wrathful deity?

Baltukhasar and Jian Peak Abbey's gigolo monks cleaned the lich's tomb out of everything they could carry, then retired to one of the abbey's intimate dining halls. Drinking wine, listening to music, and studying ancient trinkets, Baltukhasar worried that he had lost purpose. He was a lawman who couldn't summon the King of Hell to punish those deserving punishment.

"Watching the King of Hell drag an ancient lich away in chains makes everything else feel like no big deal," he said. "But you're down an abbot. He was probably killed. His successor is missing. Your Prior is out looking for him. Your prettiest gigolo will become a vampire sooner or later – probably sooner. Given your institution's tastes, maybe that's a plus. Another plus: you've found a hoard of enchanted jewelry."

"A terrible shadow has been removed from the valley," said the Incense Master. "I'll count that a plus too."

"Previously," said Baltukhasar, "I doubted the Count of Arlu arranged the Abbot's death just for the chance of securing an archaeological treasure."

"You no longer doubt?" asked the Incense Master.

"Now we know an ancient lich lurked under the abbey," said Baltukhasar. "The Count of Arlu would have been justified in taking extreme measures to secure such a creature's treasure. For now, he's your best lead. Vampire."

Pin Fun waved off the label.

"I still prefer fermented peach juice to warm blood," he said.

"What will the rest of you do?" asked Baltukhasar.

"Tricky," said the Incense Master. "Without our Abott, Successor, or Prior, our ability to defend the Abbey is compromised. At the same time, clairvoyants will start to realize that a treasure hoard has been recovered from an ancient evil."

"You're worried about an attack?" asked Baltukhasar.

"The Floating World is by definition never still," said the Incense Master. "If the Emperor were closer, I would give the hoard to him in a grand gesture."

"He'd probably grant a few of you the title of Marquis," said Baltukhasar. "Your fallback plan is the Dukes?"

"It is," agreed the Incense Master. "I'll keep my two youngest monks here."

"To teach them about the medicinal value of incense," said Baltukhasar.

"Of course," agreed the Incense Master.

"Which Duke will you ingratiate yourself with?" asked Baltukhasar.

"None," said the Incense Master. "I'll split the Abbey's remaining monks into two teams. One team heads east to Northern Duke; the other, south to Western Duke."

"Once they receive your gift," said Baltukhasar, "each Duke will conclude you have been insufficiently generous."

"They will send fact-finding delegations to determine exactly how stingy I was," agreed the Incense Master. "Word will reach Eastern Duke. Because he must be aware of what the Count of Arlu has been up to, he will also send a fact-finding delegation."

"On what grounds?" asked Baltukhasar.

"It will be disguised as a condolences delegation," said the Incense Master. "Fortunately, Southern Duke is too busy fighting naked snake cultists to bother."

"From the look of those friezes down below," said Baltukhasar, "you and the naked snake cultists share a cultural heritage."

"If all else fails," said the Incense Master, "perhaps we'll align with them. But if I can delay the bitter end until Mu Lang gets that sword and returns with the Prior," said the Incense Master, "the Dukes will conclude that I have been sufficiently generous and back off."

"I have a suggestion," said Baltukhasar.

"By all means," replied the Incense Master.

"Give me one gigolo from each team," said Baltukhasar. "I'm in need of fussy killers."

"You want to kill the Earl of Kadar-Jormu," smiled the Incense Master.

"It may come to that," agreed Baltukhasar. "But your monks will still be safe. If your plan works out, great. If it doesn't, I'll take in anyone who can get to me while the Dukes contend with one another to divide your spoils."

"I worry about the safety of the teams carrying the treasure," said the Incense Master. "Fewer numbers means it is easier to overwhelm them."

"You overestimate how quickly the clairvoyants will realize the treasure is moving," said Baltukhasar. "That's especially true given that Hell King Hades made a personal appearance. He'll have blinded them for a week. If anything, I expect the clairvoyants to believe Jian Peak Abbey has been destroyed by Heaven for debauchery. Meanwhile, fewer people will attract less attention while simultaneously moving more quickly."

"That does make sense," conceded the Incense Master. "We'll do as you suggest. Take some of these pretty baubles with you. I'm not one for dragging things out, however, so let's get moving."

Baltukhasar returned to Kadar-Jormu Citadel with two gigolo monks.

He was immediately confronted with a stack of reports detailing official investigations into the counterfeiting operation. Although the authorities took pains to shield the guilty from the full consequences of their activities, they could not provide total cover. Kadar-Jormu had its own imperial censor. Someone's head would roll. In addition to the expected news, however, several unexpected reports were also lying on Baltukhasar's desk.

"Jian Peak Abbot was only the first," he said. "Each of Sacred Mountain Conclave's abbots have died. Some deaths are more suspicious than others."

The gigolos were astonished.

"Could the Count of Arlu pull something like that off?" asked one.

"The Count of Arlu could not," said Baltukhasar.

"Did you send Pin Fun after the wrong man?"

"The Count knows something," said Baltukhasar. "So he isn't the wrong man to start with. But as to what's going on, now I'm picking up the unmistakable whiff of my imperial father."

"The Emperor could have just sent Consort Chen to kill the Abbot," said a gigolo.

"Yes," agreed Baltukhasar. "But he has been trying to avoid relying on his consorts."

Baltukhasar picked up the next sealed report. It was a reply from the Crown Prince. The books brought to Tianming Town by Jian Peak Abbey's Prior were copies of copies of materials produced by First Qianqiu Emperor. They related to the binding and exploitation of supernatural entities.

The next unexpected report demonstrated why Baltukhasar hated plans.

"Your Prior will be returning sooner than expected," he said, "and the Incense Master's plan may go badly wrong."

"What's happened?" asked the gigolos.

"My brother the Third Prince executed Tianming Duke for treason," said Baltukhasar. "The Duke's daughter and your Successor have been declared the most wanted fugitives in Great Yao."

The gigolos expressed doubt such a thing was possible.

"I'm afraid the Incense Master's gesture will be interpreted as a bribe," said Baltukhasar. "I don't need you to kill anyone here yet. One of you, go back to Jian Peak and give the Incense Master this information. Then return here. The other should stick around just in case."

Another secret communication arrived. With it, a pattern clicked into place.

"Princess Iba Algi and the Empress are going to try and banish the God of War," said Baltukhasar. "I had no idea the God of War was anywhere requiring banishment."

"Will this change our plans again?" the remaining gigolo laughed.

"This and the books your Prior delivered for me are related," said Baltukhasar.

"What happens if the Empress fails to banish the God of War?" asked the gigolo.

"I'm not sure either the Empress or Iba Algi can fail," said Baltukhasar. "But if they do, it's a good thing that here in the Northwest we have preserved the legacy of the ancient giants – and our limitless admiration for their benevolence."