The Pink-Haired Fat Woman Tsundere with More Bark Than Bite

Hmph! If he doesn't want me, I don't want him either!

Elysia lay in bed, a faint blush warming her cheeks as she fumed.

I'm happier sleeping alone in a big bed anyway!

With that thought, she stretched out, then tossed and turned restlessly.

…Damn it! Why can't I sleep?!

She squeezed her eyes shut, but her mind raced.

Sleeping alone was nice, but…

A thought popped into her head. If I'm alone in a bed, then isn't bad Jiang Qiao alone in a bed, too?

Now she really couldn't sleep.

She angrily blamed her sleeplessness on Jiang Qiao. It's definitely his fault! If he had just listened to me, how could I possibly have trouble sleeping?

A mischievous idea began to brew.

—Why not just "attack" him?

A tiny devil Elysia, complete with black SM attire, sharp horns, and bared fangs, appeared, brandishing a whip.

No way! A proper young lady shouldn't do such improper things!

Right on cue, an angelic Elysia materialized beside her, clad in white, clutching a harp, and sporting a halo. Her delicate face was etched with disapproval.

What's so improper about it?! It's that bad Jiang Qiao who's being unreasonable! Devil Elysia countered.

Don't you want to get back at him?

Revenge is wrong! I'm a good girl! Angel Elysia retorted.

But under Devil Elysia's knowing gaze, she looked away, a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. Well… that jerk did do a lot of bad things. And he even tried to do bad things with another girl right in front of me! It doesn't seem right to just let it go…

This isn't revenge, it's righteous judgment! Devil Elysia declared.

You have to fight fire with fire!

Elysia gulped, clearly tempted.

That makes sense… a lot of sense!

It's bad Jiang Qiao's fault I can't sleep! I'm tossing and turning, and he's sleeping soundly! That's not fair!

Just imagining Jiang Qiao dreaming peacefully made Elysia's skin crawl.

—I'll make sure he can't sleep either!

Fired up, she jumped out of bed and quickly donned her pink pig pajamas.

Walking through the hallways was out of the question. It was late, and as a proper young lady, being caught on camera sneaking into someone else's room—especially a boy's room—in the middle of the night would be mortifying!

She had to take the "scenic route." Luckily, for the agile Elysia, this was no problem. She just needed to avoid the surveillance and detection equipment. As a military organization, Fire Moth headquarters was heavily guarded, even the exterior.

This presented a unique challenge. While exceptionally powerful, Elysia wasn't exactly a master of stealth. A maiden's beauty wasn't meant to be hidden in the shadows!

Thankfully, she navigated the route without incident. Despite close calls with searchlights and patrol squads, her expert "disguise" skills (aka, sticking to the shadows) got her to MEI's quarters safely.

Looking at the window just inches away and the faint outline of a figure visible through the curtains, excitement gleamed in Elysia's blue eyes. And to her delight, bad Jiang Qiao hadn't locked the window!

Now, if I just quietly…

Inch by inch, she carefully slid the window open, then slipped inside, landing gracefully on the floor.

Click!

The soft sound made Elysia freeze. She frantically looked at Jiang Qiao in bed. Seeing him still fast asleep, undisturbed by the noise, she breathed a sigh of relief.

Tiptoeing to the bedside, she looked at his sleeping face, a triumphant smile spreading across her own.

Bad Jiang Qiao, even if you didn't let me stay, I still snuck in!

Hmph! Sleeping so soundly… probably dreaming of other women!

I can't sleep at all because of you!

Revenge time! Prepare to have your sweet dreams shattered!

She leaned closer, ready to unleash her "prank," but just as she was about to act, she heard a faint whisper:

"…Elysia."

Elysia froze. He found me?!

Panic surged. While she had planned to "get back at him," being caught red-handed wasn't part of the plan. She wasn't mentally prepared for this!

Her mind went blank… but then she noticed his eyes were still closed. Wait… I'm just scaring myself!

I was so careful. How could sleepy Jiang Qiao possibly have noticed me?

But… that voice…

…Could he be dreaming of me?

Just then, she heard the whisper again, "…Elysia." This confirmed her suspicion, sending a fresh wave of heat to her cheeks. No way… is he really dreaming about me?

Her heart pounded. While her heartbeat had been racing since she'd embarked on this "night raid," the thought of him dreaming about her made her feel… strangely…

It's not like I'm happy about it! she told herself.

I'm angry! Yes, angry!

I wanted to sleep with him, and he rejected me! And now he's meeting me in his dreams… Does that mean… he secretly wants to sleep with me, too?

Her cheeks flushed even brighter, but she leaned in closer, propping her chin in her hand, feigning anger as she gazed at the dreaming Jiang Qiao.

He looks… kind of cute…

Emboldened, she extended a finger and poked his cheek.

Hee hee… one more time!

Suddenly, his eyelashes fluttered. Elysia froze, holding her breath as her finger hovered over his face. She didn't dare move a muscle until his breathing evened out again, then slowly retracted her hand.

That was close! I almost woke him up!

She exhaled, then glared at him, pouting. Hmph! Trying to scare me!

Although still annoyed and eager to enact her revenge, seeing him sleeping so peacefully—and the thought that he might be dreaming of her—made her hesitate.

Since he's dreaming of me, I'll let him off the hook… for now.

Although curious about the content of his dream, she had no way of peeking inside. Sighing softly, she suddenly felt a wave of drowsiness. …I'm getting sleepy… Guess I'll sleep, too.

Since he's dreaming of me… I suppose I'll allow him to sleep with me…

A small smile touched her lips as she slipped out of her clothes, leaving only her undergarments. While she preferred sleeping in the nude, sharing a bed like this…

It's a little embarrassing…

Blushing, she slid under the covers, ready to enact her "revenge plan B"—stealing his bed space! He couldn't hog the entire bed and blanket to himself!

And… he would be her body pillow!

…Mmm, so warm… Bad Jiang Qiao's warmed-up bed is really comfy…

She snuggled into the warmth he'd left behind, but then frowned.

Something feels… strange…

She reached out, intending to cuddle up to him, but something was in the way.

What is this?

She felt around. Something soft… but not quite… soft, yet firm… like hair…

Yes, that's it!

She instinctively pinched it.

"Eek!"

A childish yelp came from under the covers.

The familiar voice made Elysia pause. I didn't say anything…

Wait, that voice… so childish… like my younger self… Could it be…?

She gently lifted the blanket. A small, pink figure emerged.

"Fairy Elysia?!" Elysia gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"Mmm… Silly me? …Isn't it obvious? I'm sleeping," Fairy Elysia mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She looked at Elysia with an innocent expression. She was a gift from Mature Elysia to Elysia, meant to be by Jiang Qiao's side. What was so strange about her being here?

Technically, she belonged to Jiang Qiao, not Elysia. She only stayed with Elysia because Jiang Qiao wasn't around, tasked with looking after "Silly Me."

"Gah!" Elysia sputtered, speechless. Of course, I know you're sleeping! But why are you here, with bad Jiang Qiao?!

Her cheeks puffed up like a balloon.

I thought you were out playing and forgot to come back, or maybe sleeping over at a friend's! But you're here… with bad Jiang Qiao?

So you're friends with him, huh?!

The easily-angered Elysia was now in full rage mode.

I didn't get to sleep with him, but Fairy Elysia did?! And you, bad Jiang Qiao! Am I not good enough?! I wanted to stay, and you closed the door on me! But Fairy Elysia shows up, and you let her sleep with you?!

So I'm not as good as Fairy Elysia, is that it?!

In her jealous rage, her eyes met a pair of dark ones staring back at her.

She flinched.

He's… awake?!

"It's hard to stay asleep with all that commotion," Jiang Qiao sighed. With his abilities, while currently limited to human levels, he was still at the peak of human potential. No slight movement could escape his notice. He had been aware of Elysia's presence but had chosen to remain in his dream—Elysian Realm Elysia's dream, a byproduct of inheriting her five millennia of memories.

He could use the dreams to process information and accelerate the growth of his nascent Authority of Origin.

However, the combined antics of Elysia and Fairy Elysia had made it impossible to continue.

"Guh…"

Elysia flushed crimson, mortified. She stammered nervously.

She was furious, wanting to "punish" him, but now that he was awake, having disturbed his sweet dreams, she felt a pang of guilt.

As she'd thought earlier, for a girl to sneak into a guy's room, even his bed, in the middle of the night was incredibly embarrassing.

If it had been morning, she could have pretended to be asleep and played dumb. But being caught red-handed like this…

She was completely flustered.

Seeing her like this, Jiang Qiao sighed and reached out a hand. This made Elysia even more nervous.

Wah! What is he going to do?!

Knowing him, he wouldn't kick her out or do anything too outrageous. But… it could be something "outrageous" of a different kind!

While she had fantasized about "punishing" him, her actions had remained purely in the realm of fantasy. Given her personality and experiences, she wasn't that bold.

Faced with the possibility of actually doing it, she was getting cold feet…

…But… the books said… it's supposed to be…

Her face burned, and she squeezed her eyes shut, like a human tea kettle about to whistle.

But…

Nothing happened.

She just felt a soft touch on her head.

"Alright, it's late. Let's sleep."

He nudged a pillow towards her, a gentle smile on his face. He adjusted the blanket and closed his eyes again.

Elysia opened her eyes, bewildered.

Huh? Nothing happened?

This… this isn't how it was supposed to go!

Flushing, she felt a pang of inexplicable disappointment as she watched him drift back to sleep. Damn it! I was all ready! I was even looking forward to it a little! And he just… What's he playing at?!

Is it because I'm not attractive enough?

She felt indignant but didn't doubt his "ability." After all, she'd "accidentally" touched… that earlier…

Resting her head on the soft pillow, her anger simmered. Recalling the earlier experience, she instinctively squeezed her legs together.

That thing… it could break, right?

Lost in a flurry of embarrassing thoughts, she continued to glare at the peacefully sleeping Jiang Qiao.

He's breathing steadily… he seems to be asleep again…

Once she was sure he was out, her courage returned. Remembering her earlier embarrassment, a wave of anger washed over her.

Scaring me like that! Leaving me hanging and falling asleep so soundly… I'm mad!

And when I'm mad, I seek revenge!

The bed was big, so stealing space seemed pointless. The blanket was wide, too…

She pursed her lips, deciding to put her original revenge plan into action.

Even if I can't keep him awake, I'll make sure he doesn't sleep well… I'll use him as a body pillow!

She was about to reach out and snuggle against him when Fairy Elysia, still positioned between them, shattered her fantasy.

Yes! Fairy Elysia was still there! To execute her "body pillow plan," she'd have to get past Fairy Elysia, which was clearly impossible.

If she revealed her evil intentions, Fairy Elysia would surely unleash her "Pervert-Repelling Kick" to "purify" her silly thoughts!

Having lived with Fairy Elysia for so long, Elysia knew this for a fact. The doll, a miniature version of her younger self, was a fun companion most of the time. But if Elysia tried anything mischievous, Fairy Elysia would not hesitate to deliver a swift kick.

—After all, Mature Elysia's programming, "Be wary of any woman who tries to get close to Jiang Qiao," didn't exclude Elysia herself!

That night, Elysia was very unhappy.

Fairy Elysia had foiled her revenge plans.

And what made it even worse was that, while she was being thwarted, Fairy Elysia was doing exactly what she wanted to do—

Using bad Jiang Qiao as a body pillow!