CHAPTER/15

"She squeezed my hand! Call the nurse, Furkan, hurry!"

Büşra's voice filled my ears, pulling me back to reality, but opening my eyes felt almost impossible—my eyelids felt like they were weighed down with concrete. There was a faint pain in my stomach, subtly probing me. I focused on what I heard—had Büşra just said Furkan, or was my mind playing tricks on me? As I mulled over this, I heard the sound of the door opening. No matter how hard I tried, my eyelids stubbornly refused to open, as if they were glued shut. At the same time, the ache in my stomach became more pronounced. It was as if there were a connection between my eyes and my stomach, and every attempt to open my eyes intensified the pain.

"It's normal for her to squeeze your finger. After all, she's not in a coma—her body is just very weak, so it might take her a while to fully recover. The doctor is in surgery right now, but he'll come to see you as soon as he's out and provide more detailed information."

It wasn't hard to guess that the speaker was a nurse.

"Thank you so much. I hope she wakes up soon!"

Büşra's voice sounded exhausted. Who knows what she had been through? I had so many questions buzzing in my mind.

"I hope so too. Excuse me, and once again, get well soon."

"Thank you."

The sound of retreating footsteps and a door closing signaled that the nurse had left. Shortly after, I heard another set of footsteps approaching me. The mattress sank slightly on my right side as someone sat down. They took my hand and gently ran their thumb over it.

"She'll be fine, I know it. I'll never leave her side. Just like you were always there for me, I'll be here for her—through the good and the bad. We grew up together, you know? Once, Merve and I were stealing plums from a tree—or rather, I was stealing them. Merve was so adamant that we shouldn't do it; she kept saying we'd get caught. I told her nothing would happen and climbed the tree. Merve was below, waving her hands, begging me to come down. Then, the tree's owner showed up. Merve warned me, and I immediately climbed down, and we started running. While running, Merve tripped and fell. The man caught up to her and slapped her across the face. It wasn't her fault at all. I thought she'd never speak to me again, but she was so kind-hearted and forgiving. Do you know what she did? She went to the store, bought some plums, and told me never to do it again. She said, 'What if it had been you instead of me? You'd never have been able to endure that slap. I'm glad it was me.' That was the moment I realized I'd never have another friend—or sister—like Merve."

Hearing Büşra's story, a few tears slipped out of my closed eyes.

"Merve. Why is she crying? Is she in pain? Should we call the doctor?"

The sound of that voice made a sharp pain pierce my stomach. It wasn't the same as the earlier ache—it felt like I'd been punched. Was my mind playing a cruel trick on me, or was that really Furkan's voice?

"Do you think she's in pain? Ugh, we don't even know what to do. Where is that doctor?"

I heard the door open again. Thinking it was the doctor, I strained harder to open my eyes. Light began to faintly seep through, making me uncomfortable, but I didn't give up. When I finally managed to open them fully, my eyes stung with tears from the brightness. I couldn't look at the light, and I forced myself to speak.

"Curtains…"

Every syllable I tried to utter felt like thorns scratching my throat.

"I'm here, my love. Don't strain yourself!"

"Büş…"

A weak coughing fit interrupted me.

"Merve, are you okay? Where's water? Let me get you some water!"

Her panicked state made me sad. I wished I could calm her down. Just as she was about to leave the room, the door opened inward, causing her to pause. From the coat he wore, it was clear the newcomer was a doctor.

"You're awake!"

He smiled as he approached, holding up a light and shining it into my eyes. It bothered me so much that I tried to turn my head away.

"Let's help her sit up; she's been lying down long enough."

With Büşra's help, they supported my arms and lifted me up. The movement made the pain in my stomach flare up again. When I looked down, I noticed a brace wrapped around my midsection. The doctor loosened the bandages and opened the brace to examine my stomach. My entire abdomen was wrapped in gauze. Without disturbing the bandages, he closed the brace again.

"Since I didn't see any blood on the bandages, I left them intact—that's a good sign. It means your stitches are healing well. You're lucky the bullet hit your abdominal cavity; we were able to remove it without much trouble. I suspect the reason you didn't wake up sooner is the severe trauma you experienced. For now, that's all I have to say. Once you feel ready, the police will come to take your statement. Get well soon."

I nodded weakly, my thoughts drifting. What had happened to that man? I pushed the thought aside—I was too worn out to dwell on it. He'd get what he deserved eventually. His words still echoed in my ears. How could anyone be so heartless? After taking my family from me one by one, he'd nearly taken two of the people I loved most. If something had happened to Büşra, I'd never forgive myself! And Furkan… I couldn't even bear to think about anything happening to him.

I hadn't realized I was crying without wiping my tears until Büşra pointed it out.

"My dear, I know you've been through so much, but I'm always here for you. I'll never leave you. Please don't cry anymore. You need to stay strong to heal."

As life slipped away from my grasp, the helplessness of being unable to do anything but cry consumed my entire being. I was exhausted from being angry at myself. While I tried to remind myself that I wasn't to blame, deep down, I knew I was.

"Water…" I forced the word out, hoping it would douse the fire raging inside me.

"Alright, hold on. Let me get it."

I took the glass and brought it to my lips. The cool water soothed my dry throat. Though I didn't feel entirely well, I could at least speak now. But what could I say? What would I ask? I felt so empty that I had to steady my breath just to regain control.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, thank you, Büşra. I'm so lucky to have you."

I gave her one of my most heartfelt smiles; she deserved it. If she told me not to cry, I wouldn't—not for her. No matter how unhappy or unlucky you were, if there were people who cared about you, you knew you had to stand tall for them.

The sound of a knock on the door interrupted us. Wait, when had we started hugging? Our eyes turned to the door, but no one came in, perhaps thinking we weren't available. As I opened my mouth to call out, Büşra clamped her hand over it.

"Wait, don't!"

I shot her a puzzled look. Don't? Her face betrayed a flicker of emotion, and her eyes darted nervously. She was hiding something—I could tell from the way she avoided my gaze.

"My dear, you rest. I'll be back in a moment. I just have a small matter to handle."

Before I could ask any questions, she opened the door and left, leaving me alone with a storm of unanswered questions.

I found myself thinking of the last time I'd seen Furkan. I could still feel the fear in his eyes deep in my bones. Remembering his tear-filled gaze caused a fresh ache in my chest. I couldn't stop wondering: what if our lives had intersected differently? But no, indulging in such thoughts was pointless, my inner voice insisted. Yet this time, I didn't agree. Did I not deserve to be happy? Was I placed in this world just to suffer? Different circumstances, different lives, different… everything.

The opening door snapped me out of my thoughts. Büşra walked in, but she kept avoiding my gaze. She was definitely hiding something.

"Where did you disappear to?"

She looked up at the ceiling, pretending to study the lights.

"I spoke with the nurse."

Her voice wavered, betraying her lie, but she carried on as if nothing were amiss.

"Who knocked on the door?"

"No one."

My irritation began to build. It felt like she was talking to a child.

"Then why are you grinning?"

It was impossible for her to miss the annoyance in my voice. I was frustrated, and none of my questions were getting answers.

"You ask too many questions, Merve. Come on, let me help you lie down."

She held my arms to assist me as I lay back.

"My gut tells me you're up to something, but fine!"

Her mischievous grin only irritated me further.

"And my gut tells me you're dying to ask me a particular question."

It was taking everything in me not to get up and strangle her out of sheer exasperation. I shook my head in frustration.

"I've been asking questions for ages, but you haven't answered a single one!"

As she helped me settle in, she kept talking.

"I said you're dying to ask one particular question. I don't think you're that curious about the others."

I understood what she meant. The only thing I was truly desperate to know about was Furkan, but how could she possibly know that?

"What would I even ask? You're just trying to get on my nerves!"

She shrugged and sat down beside me.

"Think what you want. I won't tell you anything either."

Our conversation was interrupted by the door opening again. A nurse entered, carrying a tray of food, and smiled at us. Büşra took the tray, thanked her, and placed it on the table.

"Here's a hot meal—eat up."

But the sight of the food made me scrunch up my face in disgust.

"No way! There are peas in this. I hate peas!"

The nurse pursed her lips and shook her head.

"Your meals are prescribed by the doctor. You have to eat this. Nothing else is allowed."

I puffed out my cheeks and exhaled sharply.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she eats every bite."

Once the nurse left, Büşra turned to me with that same infuriating grin.

"Please, you know I can't eat this. Don't do this to me."

Her persistence only fueled my irritation.

"Oh, but I can."

Her laughter was a clear indication that she wouldn't relent.

"No, you can't."

"Actually, you're right. I won't force you—on one condition."

I narrowed my eyes, not trusting her one bit.

"I don't believe you. If the doctor said I have to eat it, you'll definitely make me eat it."

She sat beside me, pulled the table closer, and picked up the spoon. One by one, she scooped out all the peas onto a separate plate.

"If you ask the question you're dying to know the answer to, I'll throw these peas away. If you don't, I'll shove them down your throat."

I couldn't understand why she was so insistent over something so silly. Though it seemed childish, I decided to humor her. There had to be more to it.

"How confident you are!" I crossed my arms and shrugged.

"What did you expect? Now, ask!"

I scratched my nose and rubbed my eyes. There was no escaping this. Why was I so stubborn about not asking about Furkan? It wasn't like I was talking to a stranger—it was Büşra. My hesitation was pointless. I gave in, my shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Fine. It's silly to keep it from you anyway. Maybe I'm just scared of the answers…"

"You'll never know unless you ask. Go on!"

I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. She was my closest friend—my sister, really. There was no reason to hold back.

"First… When I was shot and losing consciousness, Furkan said something: 'As long as I breathe, I'll never let anything happen to her.' Was that my imagination?

"And second… As I woke up, I heard his voice. Sometimes, even when my eyes were closed, I could feel he was here. Is any of that true, or is my mind playing tricks on me?"

She didn't respond immediately, choosing instead to laugh. Her reaction made me feel like an idiot. Of course it wasn't real. I'd let myself believe in an illusion, and now I looked foolish.

"Is this funny to you?"

She shook her head, still grinning.

"No."

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Merve, it's not what you asked; it's the way you asked. I could see something strange in your eyes."

I frowned, confused.

"What do you mean, strange? What are you talking about?"

"Merve, I've never seen you like this. You want what you're asking to be true so badly, it's written all over your face."

Even I was surprised at how much I had fixated on Furkan.

"Enough riddles. Just answer me."

I turned my head toward the window. The sunlight stung my eyes, so I looked back at her.

"No."

Her blunt answer made my heart sink. She must have noticed, because she tilted my chin up.

"Don't look so disappointed. I didn't mean no as in what you said wasn't true. I meant no, I'm not giving you the answer."

I was baffled.

"Why not? You promised you'd answer me!"

"It's not my answer to give. Let him tell you."

She stood and walked toward the door. Was she joking?

"Come on in! She's dying to hear your answers."

I turned to look, confused. She was talking to someone at the door, but I couldn't see who it was.

"Who's there, Büşra?"

When she opened the door fully, I saw Furkan standing there. I froze in shock.

"Here's the answer to your questions."