Kotaro was sitting at his desk, the afternoon sun shyly streaming in through the window, painting the walls of the empty room in warm tones. There was an eerie calm, the kind of silence that only precedes a storm of memories. Kotaro clenched his fists on his knees, staring into the void as his mind dragged him back to a place he had tried to forget for years.
Five years ago:
It was his first year in high school, and although school was a place that every day caused him anxiety, that particular day he had arrived to class with a glimmer of pride. The report card had been announced, and his name was at the top of the list. His heart pounded when the professor mentioned it, and a small glimmer of hope welled up inside him. However, as he made his way to his desk, he felt a strange vibe in the air, as if the glances in his direction were a warning.
As he reached his seat, he found what he already sensed in the back of his mind: his notebooks, his precious notes, were shredded on his desk, scattered in pieces. Her backpack, which she had carefully left in the corner of the classroom, was gone.
He looked around, searching for some sign of sympathy, some look that would restore his trust in others, but found only mockery. Some classmates laughed openly, while others lowered their heads to avoid his gaze, as if the mere fact of being present made them guilty. There were some who looked at him with pity, but their eyes wavered, unable to offer him real support. The classroom, once just a place to study, now felt like an oppressive cage.
She decided to try to report it, clinging to the hope that the teacher could do something. He walked to the teacher's desk with trembling hands, and in a halting voice explained what had happened. However, the answer was a bucket of cold water: "It's just a friendly game, Kotaro. Don't take it so hard. Go back to your seat and don't make a mountain out of a molehill."
Kotaro felt frustration and pain building up in his chest. This wasn't a game, let alone friends. He pursed his lips, and with his head down, returned to his seat. He decided to bear it in silence, waiting for the day to end.
When the bell finally rang, signaling the end of classes, Kotaro gathered what little remained of his belongings. However, upon reaching the locker, he discovered that his shoes were also gone. He was left to walk home in the worn-out tennis shoes he wore for sports. The taunts and malicious comments followed him to the school gates, like shadows he could not shake off.
The walk home was an ordeal. Every step echoed with the laughter he had heard in class. In spite of everything, he had learned to endure it, at least until he got home. His mother always greeted him with a smile, despite his illness, and that was enough for him to try to pretend that everything was fine.
When he walked through the door of his home, his mother was there, with that same warm smile, waiting for him. "How did it go today, Kotaro?" she asked in her soft, loving voice.
"Fine, Mom," he replied, suppressing the pain burning in his chest, forcing himself to smile as his throat closed up with the words he wanted to say, but didn't dare.
Back to the present:
The echo of those memories brought him back to reality. He clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles were white. Sadness and anger still echoed in his heart, like an old wound that never finished healing. No matter how many years had passed, the pain was still there, buried deep inside him.
- "Kotaro?" -Naomi's timid voice brought him back to the present. The girl was standing by his desk, looking at him with obvious concern. Her hands were shaking slightly, but her eyes searched his, trying to connect somehow. - "Are you okay?"-
Kotaro looked up and tried to smile, though the twinkle in his eyes betrayed the internal storm he had just experienced. -Yes... everything is fine, - he answered in a whisper, though they both knew it wasn't true. Naomi did not insist. It was obvious that Kotaro didn't want to talk about it, and she, always respectful of his space, chose not to press him.
The classroom began to fill quickly with the sound of students returning from their activities. The bustle of conversations and the sound of chairs moving filled the atmosphere, but Kotaro still felt the weight of memories on his back.
The teacher entered with a more relaxed expression, causing the murmur of the class to subside.
-All right, guys, I have good news for you, - the teacher began with a smile. - Our class has been the most outstanding in terms of grades in the whole school. I especially want to congratulate Kotaro, and Akane for being in the top ten."
Applause filled the room. Kotaro felt the stares on him once again, but this time, the vibes were not congratulatory. Some were looking at him suspiciously, others were muttering under their breath, but it was Makoto who broke the silence with a poisonous sentence.
-I hope for the exams they check well that there's no cheating, don't they? It's surprising that someone like Kotaro is in the first places," he said, with a mischievous smile on his lips. The tension in the class could be cut with a knife. Kotaro said nothing, but his jaw visibly tensed. He could feel the weight of the unspoken accusations in the air, the unfounded suspicions surrounding him.
Naomi, from her place, watched him with a mixture of anguish and concern. She wanted to defend him, to say something on his behalf, but the words stuck in her throat.
Fortunately, the professor interrupted the awkward moment. - Come on, guys, that's not something we should be talking about. Let's change the subject. Summer vacation is coming up, and as you know, the school is organizing a special outing for the classes. We have two options: a trip to the mountains or a trip to the capital city to visit the museums. -
The students began to murmur excitedly, the tension from before dissipating like smoke. However, many proposed another idea. -We want to go to the beach! - shouted one of the classmates, but the teacher shook his head with a tired smile.
- The administration has already ruled out that option," he said. - They only have two options, so let's take a vote. -
Naomi, still a little tense from what happened earlier, was called by the teacher. -Naomi, as class president, you must collect the votes. -
She, visibly surprised, nodded quickly.
-Me? Oh, right... yes, I will do it, - she answered, as Akane got up to help her collect the votes.
After a few minutes, the two girls presented the results: the trip to the mountains had won by a large majority.
The class was filled with joy and comments about what they would do during the trip. But Kotaro remained silent, staring blankly out the window at the scenery. When the bell rang, signaling the end of the day, Kotaro rose from his seat without a word and left the classroom before anyone else.
Naomi watched him go, wishing she could say something to him, anything, to ease the weight she saw on his shoulders. But she didn't dare. She simply watched him disappear out the door, feeling helpless at the wall that seemed to surround Kotaro.
Kotaro walked quickly through the empty hallways of the school, the echo of his footsteps echoing off the walls. The tension of the class still weighed on him like a slab, with Makoto's comment buzzing in his head. His tense body and clenched jaw were clear signs that something inside him was about to snap.
He clenched his fists as the cool evening air began to envelop him as he exited the building. He didn't want to deal with anyone, not even his own thoughts. He wanted to escape. But just as he rounded the corner to the front door of the school, he heard hurried footsteps behind him.
- Kotaro! - Naomi's voice, shaky but determined, broke the silence. - Wait!
He didn't stop. He pretended not to hear her, hoping she would get tired or leave him alone. But Naomi's steps became faster, more determined. She wasn't going to give up so easily.
- Kotaro, please! - she insisted, this time with more force in her voice.
Finally, Kotaro stopped, though without turning around. He pursed his lips and took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. He knew that, if he spoke at that moment, he might say something he would regret. He could feel her presence closing in on him, and it made him uncomfortable.
Naomi stopped right next to him, her breath hitching from running. She didn't know how to begin. There was something in Kotaro's eyes that told her he was hurt, but also that he didn't want anyone to see him like this. However, she felt she couldn't let him go without trying.
- Why... why don't you ever talk to anyone? - she asked softly, trying not to sound invasive.
Kotaro kept silent, still not looking at her. The wind played with his bangs, and Naomi could barely see his eyes hidden under the shadow of his hair.
- What Makoto said... - Naomi continued, her voice trembling slightly, - was very unfair. You don't have to put up with that.
Kotaro let out a sigh, low and heavy, but said nothing.
--I... I know we're not close, but... I want to be your friend, Kotaro. - The words came out of Naomi faster than she had planned, and she immediately felt a lump in her throat. She blushed, but held her ground. - I want you to know that you can trust me. That you're not alone.
There was an awkward silence. Kotaro remained motionless, like a statue. For a moment, Naomi thought she had blown it. Maybe she had been too direct, or maybe he saw her as just another person trying to get close out of pity. But just as she was about to step back, he spoke up.
- I don't need friends," Kotaro said softly, his tone harsh, though there was something different about his voice. It wasn't cold, but rather exhausted. - I have learned not to trust people. They only laugh behind your back when they think you're weak.
Naomi felt a pang in her chest at those words. It was as if she was seeing a side of Kotaro that few, if anyone, knew.
- Not everyone is like that," he replied softly, but with conviction. - I'm not like that.
Kotaro let out a bitter laugh, finally turning to look at her. His dark eyes, though partly hidden by his bangs, bore into Naomi's.
- And why should you be any different? - he asked her, with a mixture of weariness and skepticism.
Naomi stared at him, trying to find the right words. She didn't have a perfect answer, but what she felt was genuine. She knew Kotaro wasn't the kind of person who trusted easily, and she knew it might be hard for him to open up.
- Because I don't want to see you like this, suffering - he admitted. - And if I can help you, even a little bit, I want to. Not because I feel obliged to, but because... because I care about you. You don't have to carry everything alone.
Kotaro frowned, as if processing what he had just heard. Something in his gaze softened for a moment, though he quickly hid it.
- What makes you think you can help me? - he asked huskily, though without the same harshness as before.
Naomi lowered her gaze, feeling a knot in her stomach. She didn't know if she could really help him, but something inside her told her that she should try.
- I don't know," she answered honestly. - But... I want to try.
Silence reigned between them again. Kotaro looked down at the ground, processing what he had heard. For some reason, Naomi's words had touched something inside him. He wasn't sure what it was, but he couldn't ignore it. Finally, he let out another sigh, this time softer.
- I appreciate your concern - Kotaro said in a calmer voice. - But it's not that easy. There are things you can't understand. -
Naomi nodded slowly. She knew she couldn't expect him to tell her everything right away, but that simple gesture, that he had acknowledged her concern, was enough for now.
- I know," Naomi said quietly. - But I'll still be here. Whenever you want to talk.
Kotaro looked at her again, this time with a less hardened expression. Something in his chest relaxed slightly, as if a weight he had been carrying had lightened, if only a little.
- All right," he finally murmured. - I'll let you know if I ever want to.
Silence fell, but this time it wasn't awkward. Naomi felt reassured that she had taken that step, that she had tried to get closer, even if somewhat awkwardly. She felt she had accomplished something, even if it was small.
Before she could say anything else, Kotaro unexpectedly stepped a little closer and reached out his hand towards Naomi's head. With a sudden, gentle movement, he patted her head.
- Thank you - he said in a low voice, his gaze drifting to the floor.
Naomi froze, surprised by the gesture. It hadn't been much, but something about that touch had made her feel something strange inside. Her heart pounded as she looked at Kotaro, who had already turned around to continue on his way.
She remained standing, watching him walk away, her cheeks slightly flushed and a sweet confusion in her chest. Something had changed in that brief instant. She wasn't sure what it was, but for the first time, she felt a connection she hadn't anticipated.
Kotaro continued on his way, leaving Naomi behind, but something in her chest had also changed. For the first time in a long time, he felt that, perhaps, he was not as alone as he had always believed.