Chapter 23: Shifting Ground

Kai's POV

The rain had stopped again by the time I got home, but the cold lingered. It always felt heavier after a storm, as if the air itself had been soaked through with something darker. I didn't bother changing out of my wet clothes; I just dropped my bag by the door and slumped into the living room, my mind racing in circles.

Chino's words from earlier kept echoing in my head, replaying over and over again. "I'm here, Kai. I'm not going anywhere this time."

What did that even mean? Could I believe him? Could I trust him to stay when everything else in my life seemed like it was falling apart?

I had spent so many years pretending that I was fine on my own. That I didn't need anyone. I'd buried the parts of myself that had hurt the most, convinced myself that everything I'd lost could stay buried forever. But the more I pushed those feelings down, the harder it became to breathe.

Chino was offering me something I wasn't sure I could accept. But for the first time in years, I was beginning to think that maybe I didn't have to do it alone.

I rubbed my forehead, trying to push the headache that was starting to form. I hadn't even noticed when the silence in the house grew so loud until my phone buzzed.

It was a message from Haruka.

Haruka: "Hey, are you doing okay? I know today was a lot. Want to talk later?"

I stared at the screen for a moment, feeling the weight of her words. Haruka had this way of cutting through the walls I put up, asking the questions no one else dared to. And I could feel it again—her quiet understanding, the way she seemed to see right through me without even trying.

I didn't know how to respond to her. I didn't know if I could even explain the mess inside me. But she had been patient. She had given me space without pushing. It was more than I could've asked for, and still, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with it.

I typed a response, my fingers moving on their own.

Kai: "I'm fine. Just... needed some time to think."

I hit send before I could second-guess myself. But as soon as I put my phone down, a wave of guilt washed over me. I wasn't fine. Not really. But I wasn't ready to admit that to her—at least not yet.

I stood up and walked to the window, looking out at the city skyline. The sky was clearing, the clouds breaking apart to reveal the fading light of sunset. Everything felt like it was still in motion, like the world was moving on, but I was stuck, standing at the edge, watching it all pass by.

And then, as if to remind me that life never truly stops moving, my phone buzzed again. This time, it was Chino.

Chino: "I'm still here, man. If you want to talk, I'm around."

I stared at the message, unsure what to say. Chino had been my best friend once, and now he was trying to reach me again. But I didn't know how to bridge that gap between who we used to be and who we were now. The years in between had left scars on both of us, scars that couldn't be erased with a simple apology or a promise to be there.

I glanced at my phone for a moment longer, then put it down and sank into the couch.

I wasn't ready for that conversation either. But for the first time in a long while, I realized that I couldn't keep running from everything. Whether I wanted to face it or not, I was going to have to confront the past sooner or later.

—-~

Haruka's POV

I had sent the message, but I didn't expect an immediate reply. I knew Kai well enough by now to understand when he needed space. But I couldn't stop thinking about him.

There was something different about him today—something heavier in his eyes. Something that told me he was carrying more than he let on.

I spent the rest of the evening trying to focus on my homework, but it was like my brain wouldn't settle. I kept hearing his voice, his quiet laugh, the way he had looked at me when we ran through the rain. It felt like we had shared something in that moment, something that made everything feel a little less difficult.

But now... now he was distant again, retreating into that silence he always did when things got too close. And I hated it. I hated not being able to help him, not knowing what was going on in his head.

I knew he wasn't fine. He never was. He hid it well, but there were cracks in the walls he built around himself. I could see them. I could feel them. But what could I do? All I could do was wait for him to come to me when he was ready.

And even then, I wasn't sure I'd be enough.

I lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling, letting the quiet settle in around me. I couldn't help but feel like I was missing something. Like there was a part of Kai that he wasn't ready to share with me yet.

I reached for my phone again, feeling the need to check for a response, but when I saw Kai's message, I felt a small knot in my stomach.

Kai: "I'm fine. Just... needed some time to think."

He was lying. I knew it. I could hear it in the way he said it. But I didn't call him out on it. Not yet. I could wait. I could be patient.

I wanted to help him, but sometimes it felt like I was waiting for him to break and ask for help. And that scared me more than I cared to admit. I didn't want him to break.

I wanted to be the one who kept him whole.

—-~

Kai's POV

Later that night, as I lay in bed, I couldn't stop replaying everything that had happened. The conversation with Chino. My conversation with Haruka. The way I had shut both of them out, even when I didn't want to.

I didn't want to be this person. The one who kept everyone at arm's length. The one who didn't let anyone in, even when they were trying so hard to help. But the harder I tried to open up, the more afraid I became that I would break down completely. That I would fall apart in front of them, and they would see me for who I really was.

I was scared of being weak. Scared of being vulnerable.

But as I lay there in the silence, the words that Chino had said kept drifting through my mind.

"You don't have to do this alone."

I wasn't sure if I could trust him. However, I was beginning to realize something.