Chapter 30: Cracks Beneath The Surface

Haruka's POV

I was good at pretending.

I'd been doing it for years. I could smile, laugh, joke, and be the "Haruka" everyone knew, the one who had everything together.

I could be the person who supported Kai, who helped him navigate his mess of a life, even when my own was falling apart. I was good at hiding. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, the cracks start to show.

And I could feel them breaking.

That's how I felt this morning as I stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the collar of my school uniform, trying to look like the person everyone expected me to be. But the reflection staring back at me wasn't right. I didn't look like me. I looked like a stranger who had forgotten how to smile.

The fight with my mom last night had only made everything worse.

"Haruka, you think you can just live in this bubble forever? You have responsibilities. You can't just pretend like everything's okay!"

I couldn't even remember what I'd said in return. All I could recall was the sharp sting of her words, her eyes filled with disappointment. It was the same argument we always had—me wanting to do things my way, her demanding I take on everything. Every decision I made was met with criticism. Every hope I had was dismissed.

I knew she was worried about me, but it didn't feel like worry anymore.

It felt like she was trying to control me, trying to force me into this mold I didn't fit. I didn't want to be this perfect, put-together daughter who had to have her future planned out by the age of eighteen. I wanted to live. I wanted to breathe.

But that never seemed to matter.

I sighed, finally walking away from the mirror. The world didn't stop for me to fall apart. I couldn't let anyone see me crumble. I couldn't let Kai see me crumble.

Kai's POV

I noticed something was off with Haruka almost immediately.

We were meeting after school in our usual spot near the cherry blossom tree, but today, she was quieter than usual. There was a softness to her smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Her posture was stiff, like she was holding something back, like she was afraid if she let go, everything would spill out.

I didn't say anything at first. Sometimes, Haruka needed space, and I wasn't going to pry if she wasn't ready to talk. But something told me this wasn't just another "Haruka's having a bad day" kind of thing.

Something felt… off.

I shifted a little closer, watching her as she absentmindedly brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Her gaze was distant, and she kept glancing around, as though she was looking for an escape.

"Haruka?" I finally asked, my voice softer than usual. "Are you okay?"

She blinked, as though snapping out of a trance. Her eyes met mine, and she smiled that same, familiar smile, the one that always made my heart skip a beat.

"I'm fine, Kai," she said, her voice light, but there was an edge of exhaustion to it. "Just tired. You know, school's a lot right now."

I wasn't convinced, but I didn't push it. Haruka had always been strong. She didn't like showing weakness, not even to me. I'd learned that much by now. But today, I could tell she was struggling.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked. I knew she wouldn't, but I had to offer.

She shook her head quickly. "No, it's nothing."

But I could see it in her eyes. She was lying.

Haruka's POV

I was lying.

I couldn't bring myself to talk to Kai about my mom. About the pressure, the constant suffocation of expectations that seemed to grow heavier with each passing day.

She never understood me, not really. And every time I tried to explain myself, to tell her that I wasn't some perfect image she wanted me to be, it always ended in a fight. It always ended with me feeling like a failure.

I wasn't a failure. I knew I wasn't. But every time I saw my mom's face—disappointed, frustrated, worried—I couldn't help but feel like I was.

The worse part was that I had no idea how to fix it. I had no idea how to fix myself.

And every time I looked at Kai, every time I saw the kindness in his eyes, I just wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to confess how suffocated I felt, how tired I was, how scared I was that I might never be good enough for anyone.

But I couldn't. I couldn't burden him with my problems when his own life was already complicated enough. I couldn't weigh him down with the things I couldn't even understand myself.

So I smiled. I laughed. I pretended. It was easier that way.

But inside, everything was crumbling.

Kai's POV

The days passed, and nothing seemed to change. Haruka was still there, by my side, as always. But there was something about her, something I couldn't put my finger on. It was like I was losing her little by little, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

It wasn't just the way she acted, either. It was the way she'd pull away when I tried to touch her hand, the way her eyes would dart around when I'd ask how she was. She was slipping, and I was helpless to stop it.

On the outside, she was still the same—chipper, funny, always there for me when I needed her. But beneath it all, I could see the cracks. The little things she wasn't saying. The silence that grew between us as I tried to keep things normal, to keep pretending that everything was okay.

But I knew better.

I couldn't ignore it anymore.

"Haruka," I said one afternoon after school, after a long silence had stretched between us. "I know something's wrong."

She stopped walking and turned to face me, her expression hard to read. For a moment, I thought she might deny it, tell me to stop worrying, tell me everything was fine.

But instead, she just stared at me, her gaze distant and tired. Her lips were pressed together, and for the first time in weeks, I saw something break in her eyes.

"I'm just tired, Kai," she said, her voice small, fragile. "I'm trying to hold it together, but I don't think I can anymore."

I reached out, placing my hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to do this alone, Haruka. You don't have to hold it all in. You can talk to me."

She looked down, and for a moment, I thought she was going to pull away again. But instead, she let out a shaky breath and nodded.

"I don't want to be a burden," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"I don't want to disappoint anyone... especially not you."

I felt a pang of guilt, and I couldn't help but wonder if I had made her feel like that. If I had unknowingly added to the pressure she was already under.

"You're not a burden, Haruka," I said, my voice firm but gentle. "You never have been. I care about you, more than you know. And you don't have to carry all this by yourself. Not anymore."

She met my gaze then, her eyes brimming with unspoken emotion. And for the first time in days, I saw her. The real her. Not the facade she'd been hiding behind, not the girl who tried to convince herself everything was fine.

But the Haruka who was struggling, who was tired, who just wanted to be seen.

"I'm sorry, Kai," she whispered. "I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to be the person everyone wants me to be."

I pulled her into a hug, holding her close, letting her cry if she needed to. "You don't have to be anyone else. You just have to be you. And I'm here. For you."

Haruka's POV

I didn't know when it happened. I didn't know when I started to crumble. But I did know one thing: Kai was here. And for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to pretend anymore.

I wasn't sure what the future would hold, whether things would get better or worse, but in that moment, I didn't need to have all the answers.

I just needed to hold on.