Chapter 32: Breaking Point

Haruka's POV

I never thought it would get this hard.

I had always known that life wasn't going to be easy.

But I never expected that facing the truth about my own emotions would feel like trying to climb a mountain without a rope, or a harness. Everything felt so steep, so impossible.

Every time I thought I was making progress, I slipped back into old habits—into old fears.

It had been a week since my conversation with Kai, and I could feel myself suffocating under the weight of it all.

His words echoed in my mind: "You need to take control. You can't let her control your life."

But the more I tried to take control, the more I felt like I was losing my grip.

And then came the conversation with my mom.

—-~

I had known it was coming.

I had known that one day, my mom would call me into the kitchen and we'd have another "talk," as she liked to call it.

The kind of talk where everything I'd done up to this point would be scrutinized, dissected, and ultimately dismissed.

"Haruka," my mom said, her voice tight and sharp, as I sat across from her at the dinner table.

"We need to have a serious conversation. Your future is at stake, and I'm not going to sit by and watch you throw it away."

I swallowed hard, trying to steady my racing heartbeat. "I'm not throwing anything away, Mom."

"Oh, really? Because it sure seems like it." Her eyes were narrowed, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

"You've been making some questionable decisions lately, Haruka. You've been slipping in your grades, and I hear you've been spending a lot of time with that boy—what's his name? Kai?"

I flinched, even though I knew this was coming. "Kai's my friend. He's not the reason my grades are slipping."

Her expression didn't soften.

"I don't care about him. I care about you. You're wasting your potential, Haruka. Do you even know what you want for your future? Or are you content with just... wasting time?"

The words stung, more than they should have. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to explain to her that I wasn't wasting time, that I just... didn't know what I wanted yet. That maybe—just maybe—I needed more time to figure things out.

But she wasn't listening. She never listened.

"I've given you everything I could. I've worked my ass off to give you the opportunities you have. And this is how you repay me? By throwing it all away for... what? A relationship with a boy who doesn't even have his life together? Is that what you think will make you happy?"

My chest tightened. The words hit harder than I expected, and before I knew it, my voice cracked as I spoke.

"You don't understand, Mom. It's not about him. It's about me. I'm trying my best, but I can't be what you want me to be. I'm trying to figure things out on my own."

She scoffed, her face tightening with disdain. "Figure things out? Haruka, life isn't some experiment. It's not a joke. If you don't start making real decisions, if you don't start acting like an adult, you're going to regret it."

The silence that followed was suffocating. I felt the tears well up, but I fought them back, not wanting to show her weakness. She didn't care about my feelings.

She never did.

She cared about control.

About shaping me into the person she thought I should be.

"I'm not going to be who you want me to be," I said quietly, the words coming out sharper than I meant them to.

"I'm me, Mom. And I'm doing the best I can. I don't need you to decide who I should be."

She stood up abruptly, her chair scraping against the floor. "Then I guess you can figure things out on your own, Haruka. Because I won't be here to hold your hand forever."

—-~

Haruka's POV

The conversation haunted me all night. I kept replaying every word, every accusation, until my mind felt like it was spinning in circles.

I couldn't focus on anything else, couldn't think about anything else. My mom's words had cut through me, deeper than I cared to admit.

She was right about one thing: I was confused. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know how to fix this.

But at the same time, I couldn't let her control me anymore. I had spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations, trying to be what she wanted, but it had never been enough. It was never going to be enough.

And the worst part? I didn't even know what I wanted. I didn't know what would make me happy.

I stood at my bedroom window, staring out into the night. The moon hung low in the sky, casting its pale light across the street below. My thoughts were heavy, like a weight pressing down on my chest, and I could feel the tears threatening to fall again. But this time, I didn't fight them.

I didn't even try to hold them back.

—-~

Kai's POV

The moment I saw Haruka the next day, I could tell something was wrong. Her eyes were puffy, her face pale, and there was a tightness around her mouth, like she was holding something back.

I stepped up beside her as we walked to school, offering her a small smile, but she didn't respond the way she usually did. No teasing, no lighthearted jab, no playful push.

She was withdrawn, more than usual.

"Haruka?" I asked gently, my voice careful. "You okay?"

She didn't look at me. She didn't say anything for a few moments. Then, quietly, she said, "I had a fight with my mom last night."

I felt a knot form in my stomach. I could see it in her eyes—something had shifted.

The girl who had been so full of life, so determined, was gone. Now there was just someone who was broken, someone who didn't know what to do with all the weight they were carrying.

"I'm sorry," I said, wishing I could take away whatever hurt she was feeling. But I knew better than to offer empty platitudes. I knew she wouldn't want that. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know if I can. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do."

I paused, watching her closely.

"You don't have to have all the answers, Haruka. You don't have to fix it all today. But you do have to deal with it. You can't keep running away from it. You can't keep hiding it like I did, pretending like everything's fine when it's not."

I saw the flicker of something in her eyes—fear, perhaps, or maybe regret—but it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"I know," she whispered, her voice heavy with something I couldn't quite name. "But I don't know how."

The words hit me hard. I wanted to do something, anything, to make her feel better. But the truth was, I couldn't save her. She had to save herself. She had to fight her own battles, no matter how hard they were.

"You don't have to do it alone," I said softly, stepping a little closer to her. "I'm here, Haruka. But you have to take the first step. You have to face it."

Her eyes met mine then, and for the first time in a while, I saw a glimmer of something—something like determination, something like hope.

She nodded, the faintest trace of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "I'll try, Kai. I'll try."

I squeezed her shoulder gently, offering her the space she needed. She didn't have all the answers yet, and I didn't expect her to. But that was okay.

We were in this together. And together, we'd figure it out.