Not Just Blind, But Braindead

"Why didn't you reply to my messages? Are you angry that I forgot to wish you a happy birthday at midnight?" Chu Myungki questioned with his gentle gaze fixated on the beautiful blue-eyed young man, all the while ignoring Kong Narae whose expression rapidly soured. 

If you scrutinized closer, you could even detect a hint of grievance from his tone. It was as though he was taking it for granted that Kang Jinha would definitely respond with a wag of his tail so long as he threw out a bone. If it's still not enough, then throw out two. 

There was no hint of guilt in his expression when he was the one who had forgotten their promised meet-up in the first place. 

Separated by the chain-link fence, Chu Myungki dabbed the sweat on his forehead with the small towel, a casual smile hooked on the corner of his lips. If this was a manhwa, there would be a garden of flowers blossoming behind him, and even his sweat would be given extra sparkles.

Unfortunately – or not – this protagonist halo no longer affected Kang Jinha. When he looked at Chu Myungki now, all he could remember was the man's wretched appearance when he appeared in his apartment one day, crying out how he had no one else to turn to, and how he could not trust anyone in this world other than Kang Jinha. The same man had then proceeded to grace his presence on the national news channel a week later, looking impeccable and dignified while being revered by the whole world as a hero. 

When Kang Jinha thought of the extent of crimes he was charged with, he could not help but feel a chill rising from the soles of his feet. 

He had read the book of the world, thus he knew that even after this incident, Chu Myungki had hardly felt any guilt nor reminisce about what he had done. It was only once in a while, after he harvested precious gems from the dungeons, that he recalled how there used to be someone whose eyes were as bright and dazzling when they looked at him. But that's it. He simply did what had to be done without dwelling on the past. 

From the start, Kang Jinha was nothing more than a tool he could discard at will once it was no longer useful. 

I really was blind, Kang Jinha thought wryly. No, not only blind. It must be the severe case of braindead. 

He did not feel the need to take revenge though, much to his own surprise. 

Everything he did back then was on his own volition, despite Chu Myungki being the reason and driving force behind it. This twenty-year-old Chu Myungki, on the other hand, did not have the slightest idea what kind of atrocities he would commit in the future, hence he could barely pass off as innocent right now. Even if he were to follow his original life trajectory, there would no longer be a loyal and lovesick Kang Jinha who willingly took the fall for him. That foolish person had died forevermore on the cold execution ground. 

'Hate' was an extremely strong emotion. It took so much energy and effort to hate someone that Kang Jinha couldn't be bothered to do it. His heart was small, so small that no other space remained after it was stuffed to the brim with his family, friends, and career. 

Right now, he would rather distance himself from Chu Myungki as far as possible and choose to focus on himself instead. 

Toward this person, Kang Jinha truly did not feel anything anymore. No love, no resentment, no nostalgia— nothing. 

"Sunbae must be joking," Kang Jinha quipped while discreetly tugging back Kong Narae who was ready to bite back with a snarky retort. "How could I possibly get mad at you just for something like that?"

A flash of surprise crossed Chu Myungki's eyes, and his brows gathered into a barely perceptible frown. He couldn't help but feel like something was different with the person before him, but he could not put his finger on it no matter what. Moreover, what's with that response? Was Kang Jinha hinting at something? Even if he was, those blue eyes were just so clear and transparent that Chu Myungki couldn't tell whether he was being sarcastic or not. 

If Kang Jinha knew the wild thoughts running in Chu Myungki's mind, he would definitely counter with, "You're thinking too much." 

Not giving the man a chance to respond, he promptly decided to excuse himself, "The class is going to start soon, so I will leave first, sunbae."

"O–Oh!" Chu Myungki hurriedly put on a dashing smile on his face. "Hwaiting, Jinha!" 

Alas, before he could continue asking whether they should hang out later, Kang Jinha had already turned away with Kong Narae in tow. The girl walked with her head bowed, her shoulders trembling suspiciously. 

However, Chu Myungki did not take notice of it as he was caught off guard by the inexplicable loss arising within him. Truth to be told, Espers, especially an A-Class like him, were no longer required to attend university like other non-awakened. He could come and go whenever he wished, or he could even drop out altogether – that was a privilege given to the first-line fighting force in the country. Surely, he had many things better to do than coming here early in the morning to occupy the basketball court for hours. 

All because Kang Jinha did not reply to his messages. 

After the effort he had put in, wasn't it natural for him to feel disappointed with Kang Jinha's distant demeanor? 

When he recalled the young man's perfunctory responses, a sense of displeasure surged from the depths of Chu Myungki's heart. "Who does he think he is? Just a mere F-Class…" he muttered under his breath. 

When he turned around, his 'kind and gentle' persona collapsed in an instant and a chilling storm seemed to brew within his eyes, making the surrounding temperature drop a few more degrees.

The students on the court were startled by his sudden mood swings, but no one dared to call out to him even as he quit the game midway and left briskly without saying a word. 

***

"Pfft—"

Once they were out of earshot, Kong Narae finally could no longer hold herself back and burst out laughing, tears squeezing out of her eyes. "HAHAHA! Damn, did you see his face just now? He looked like he had just bitten into a sour lemon!" 

After mocking Chu Myungki to her heart's content, she shifted her gaze to the young man beside her and quirked her brow in a teasing manner, patting his back hard, "Not bad, Jinha-ya! Not bad at all! I thought it was just a heat of the moment thing when you said you won't get close to him again, but it turns out you're serious, huh?" she grinned so wide that her eyes turned into crescents, looking happier than when she received her birthday present. 

Kang Jinha nearly stumbled from the force of her slaps. Casting her a helpless glance, he silently retreated to the side to avoid her iron paw. "I have always been serious," he protested. 

"Yeah, yeah," Kong Narae gave him a dramatic eye roll, clearly unconvinced. "Who's the one being sooo excited yesterday that they're going to spend their birthday with a beloved sunbae?"

Her obvious sarcasm nearly caused Kang Jinha to choke on his own breath, speechless. He could understand very well why she would doubt his sudden change of heart, but what had occurred to her just yesterday was actually an event of more than ten years ago for him. 

Alas, there was no way he could tell the truth, was there? She would definitely eye him as if he was a delusional patient who had just escaped from a psychiatric hospital! 

Fortunately, Kang Jinha did not actually need to say anything. His temperament was just like this, and Kong Narae had known him long enough not to demand answers or even try to figure out what was going on in his mind. This was their usual dynamic – she, a chatterbox who could very well hold a conversation for two, and he, silent with his mind wandering elsewhere or perhaps devoid of any thoughts at all. 

Kang Jinha subtly let out a sigh of relief when she began to talk about their training today.

And just like that, the brief encounter with Chu Myungki was thrown to the back of their minds.

***

Their ballet academy had an annual public performance where final year students were required to perform on stage. It could be solo, duo, or even group performance – each with their own advantages. This was not only a graduation exam, but also a golden opportunity for students to showcase their talents. The judges invited each year were including but not limited to famous critics, artistic directors of globally acclaimed companies, former prima ballerinas, and there were even talent scouts! 

One could imagine how valuable this opportunity was. If they managed to catch the eye of these big shots, then their future would be boundless!

Everyone was staking their all on this one performance, and it was now less than a month away until the D-day. 

As he walked through the corridor, Kang Jinha could clearly feel the tension and restlessness in the air. Each training room was occupied, and through the glass panel, he could see his fellow students practicing their choreography again and again, their gazes firm and determined despite the blood, sweat, and tears that had been poured out. 

No one cared about the countless hours and nights you spent behind the scenes, what kind of injuries you sustained or what you had to sacrifice; all they wanted to see was your most dazzling and excellent selves on stage. 

A breathtaking and flawless performance – it's what they needed to prepare for. 

Kang Jinha could feel himself being affected by the environment and his blood, which had been dormant for the past ten years, began to boil and simmer beneath his veins once more. His breathing quickened; even his fingertips trembled ever so slightly as he stood in front of the training room. 

"Jinha-ya?" a concerned inquiry brought him out of his reverie, and he turned to meet Kong Narae's worried eyes. "What's wrong?"

Kang Jinha shook his head slightly. "... I'm fine," he croaked through his dry throat. "Let's enter."

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door and took his first step forward. 

Inside the training room, Yang Soonhee and their last teammate had been waiting for them, stretching while chatting with an anxious look on their faces. As soon as their eyes met through the wall-mounted mirror, Yang Soonhee instantly jumped to her feet and shrieked, 

"Jinha-ssi, Narae-ya, big trouble! Very big trouble!"

Startled, Kong Narae asked with an alarmed look, "W–What is it?"

Yang Soonhee clutched her chest with a look as if she had nothing left to live for, "Haven't you read the group announcement? Lee-seonsaengnim is going to conduct a surprise check today!"

"What?!" Colors instantly drained from Kong Narae's face. "N-No wonder everyone is not slacking off today. Even the lazybug next door is present instead of sneaking into the canteen. Here I am wondering if they've all been possessed!"

"W–What should we do?" The last member, a girl surnamed Min, couldn't resist biting her nails. "I'm so nervous that I feel like I've forgotten all of my parts! Ugh, my stomach hurts…"

The mention of 'Lee-seonsaengnim' to them was akin to how delinquent students would feel toward the head disciplinary teacher. The first instinct they had was to run away so that they would not be caught for sudden inspection. 

Alas, there was no escape for them because Teacher Lee was the main instructor for the final year students. 

She was infamous for being merciless and sharp-tongued, not even sparing the fairer sex. The more you cried, the more ruthless she would be. Each year there would be students who were scolded until they were on the brink of mental breakdown. Those who were more weak-willed even dropped out from school altogether. What she despised the most was tardiness, sloppiness, and lack of discipline. Anyone who dared to slack off would definitely receive severe punishment. 

The time for the annual performance was coming close, so it was no surprise that she would do something like this.

While the three girls were panicking, Kang Jinha's mind had wandered off elsewhere.

In the previous lifetime, did Teacher Lee also do a surprise inspection on this day? He was absent due to his Grandma's death, so… how did his group fare? Missing one of their core members at such an important time, it meant that their performance would no longer be complete. With only less than a month away until the performance, how did they cope with all the sudden changes?

They must have cursed and blamed him a thousand times in their hearts… right?

The more Kang Jinha thought about how he had affected their future chances and perhaps even caused them to miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, a heavy and suffocating feeling weighed down on his chest. He clenched his fists so hard that his nails sank into the flesh, yet he could not even feel the pain. 

It was no use asking about these questions from the past, he knew. He was destined to never receive his answers. The only thing he could do right now was try his best to remedy the situation so that the disaster back then would not happen anymore. 

This time, he would make sure not to leave any regrets behind!

"It will be okay," Kang Jinha's voice cut through the noisy chatter, drawing the other three's attention. Although his voice was quiet with nary a fluctuation, yet somehow they carried a soothing and convincing power, "We've practiced countless times, so our bodies have definitely developed a memory. We only need to do our usual. If something goes wrong, well, at worst we will just be scolded together."

His careless and casual attitude eased the atmosphere a lot, and the girls couldn't help giggling. That's right, it was scary to be scolded alone, but it was different when they were in a group! 

"But Jinha-ssi…" Yang Soonhee inquired cautiously. "Will you be okay, though? You just fainted yesterday…"

The other two were reminded of yesterday's event upon hearing that, and they could not help but be concerned about Kang Jinha. 

Before Kang Jinha could reply, however, a firm knock sounded at their door, and a familiar figure clad in a training suit stepped in, carrying with her an oppressive and chilly aura. 

"Good morning, students. How are you doing today?"

It was none other than Teacher Lee.