Not Worth It

Kang Jinha's pupils shook violently.

My… birthday? 

Ah, that's right, the belated realization dawned on him. It was indeed his birthday the day before, but he had always associated it with Grandma's death anniversary, so this joyous event gradually faded into the back of his mind until he forwent it altogether. Perhaps not wanting to trigger any bad memories, even in the previous lifetime, no one celebrated or even mentioned his birthday to his face. 

It was as if this topic had become a forbidden taboo in the family.

Which was why, as Kang Jinha took in the flashy and colorful decoration in the otherwise chic living room, the huge three-tier cake and the lavish dishes laid out on the table, as well as the two people in front of him, his first reaction was… confusion. 

Why would they celebrate his birthday? he reflexively wondered, only to realize how silly it sounded one second later. 

Of course, of course they would. In this lifetime, Grandma survived through the ordeal and their relationship was not bad from the start, so it wasn't strange for them to celebrate his birthday. 

But then, his mind couldn't help but take another leap. 

In the previous lifetime, had they also prepared something for him when he came here? Had they also… wished to celebrate his birthday all along? Maybe not as festive, but even a warm meal together would do to soothe the youth's scarred soul. To tell him not to blame himself, that his grandmother's sudden death was not his fault at all…

Alas, he was so uncooperative and rebellious that he bolted out without even stepping a foot inside the house. 

If he had done so, would he have discovered such a thoughtful and warm surprise?

Kang Jinha stood in a daze amidst the fluttering confetti, and the scene turned awkward for a good while. 

Upon finding no reaction she expected, Oh Yoonji strengthened her suit while subtly nudging her son, signaling desperately with her eyes, 'What's going on? Do something!' 

With a long-suffering sigh, Kwon Minhyuk took off the silly hat on his head and spoke up to break the silence, "Come on in." His tone was as stiff and domineering as ever as if he was tossing out a command to his subordinate, causing Oh Yoonji to cover her forehead and groan inwardly. 

She should not have enlisted this boring iceberg's help!

But much to her surprise, Kang Jinha recovered from his stupor and gave a jerky nod. He gingerly took a few steps into the living room, his demeanor so very cautious as though he was afraid to bump into the balloons around him, looking just like a little wild cat arching its neck to sniff its new territory. 

Oh Yoonji's heart almost melted at the lovely image that popped into her mind. 

Without an ounce of reservation, she dragged Kang Jinha to the dining table, showing off the scrumptious feast that looked enough to feed ten people, "Your grandma said that you're not a picky eater, so we prepared some dishes with lean protein, complex carbs, and low fat according to your usual diet. Come and see, do you like them?"

Kang Jinha opened his mouth only to close it again. This happened a few more times before he managed to force out through his constricted throat, "You… prepared all of this?"

Oh Yoonji raised her chin proudly and was about to reply when her cheap son piped in from the side, "To be more precise, the cook prepared them," he corrected while pushing up his glasses. 

Oh Yoonji: "..."

Can you please shut up for a second?! 

She rolled her eyes hard at Kwon Minhyuk, but her face instantly morphed into a motherly smile when she turned to Kang Jinha. The switch was so quick and thorough that it left Kwon Minhyuk utterly speechless. "If there's any dishes you like, tell the cook to prepare for you next time. There are also a lot of midnight snacks in the refrigerator in case you're hungry. How is it? Would you like to eat now, or would you like to take a bath first? That's right, you haven't seen your room yet!" she clapped and commanded cheerfully, "Minhyuk, lead the way!"

Although clearly disgruntled, Kwon Minhyuk was totally helpless against his queen mother and could only be ordered to do this and that like an errand boy. 

And that's how Kang Jinha found himself swept to the second floor like a whirlwind, and before he knew it, he found himself standing in front of the master bedroom, with Kwon Minhyuk pushing the door open and stepping aside.

"Ta-da!" Oh Yoonji exclaimed from behind, her delight palpable. "How is it? Do you like it? We were in a bit of a hurry since you'll be moving in today, so don't hesitate to tell me if there's anything you'd like to change!"

Stunned, Kang Jinha gawked at the room which was supposed to belong to Kwon Minhyuk. In the previous lifetime, this room was dominated with black, white, and gray, giving off a sharp and austere vibe typical of a strait-laced bachelor. But now… a soothing shade of blue greeted his eyes. The wallpaper had been changed, and the floor was covered in white fluffy carpet. In front of the floor-to-ceiling window was a large mahogany table and swivel chair, complete with a computer that looked brand new. A king-sized bed was placed on the corner, draped in a dark colored mattress which emitted the warm scent of sunshine. 

Somehow, he did not even need to look to know that all the essential supplies had been prepared. All he needed to do was to move in. 

Every inch of the room was so aesthetically pleasing to the eye that it could directly be used as a model design interior. On the other hand, his old suitcases placed in the corner looked totally out of place.

As Kang Jinha stared at the discolored suitcases Kwon Minhyuk had once dragged out because he refused to step into the house, the back of his eyes began to sting. 

Half a day… it was only half a day but his aunt and cousin had done so much. There was no reason they could not do the same in the previous lifetime. 

So back then… had Kwon Minhyuk pulled his suitcases out of this beautifully furnished room as well? To leave the house, he had to go down the stairs and pass by the table full of warm dishes. What kind of mood was he in at that moment? What kind of feelings did he have? 

They had been fully prepared to welcome him as an addition to their family, but all they received in return was foul curses, unreasonable blame and seething hatred… 

Bastard, Kang Jinha cursed himself inside his heart. You're such a bastard, Kang Jinha. You truly deserved to die!

Exactly how much had he missed out in the previous lifetime? 

Kang Jinha dared not even ponder more about it, or he felt like he would break down into tears and go down to his knees to beg for these people's forgiveness. 

Oh Yoonji had now gotten used to his slow reaction time and directly pointed at the room next door, adding, "That will be your training room. Of course, Auntie would like you to rest when you return home, but your Grandma mentioned that you're very earnest and diligent in practicing. It's inconvenient not to have a training room in your old house, right? Now you don't have to worry about it anymore. You can even invite your friends here if you'd like!" She sounded just like an enthusiastic mother wishing to stuff all the good things in the world to the pitiful child with red-rimmed eyes. 

Meanwhile, Kang Jinha was so shocked to hear those words that he whipped his head in her direction, his mouth falling open. 

H–He even had a personal training room in this house? But that room… it was supposed to be Kwon Min-Hyuk's study! The place where Director Kwon would work and conduct his late-night meetings!

Flabbergasted, he turned to Kwon Minhyuk and blurted out without thinking, "A–Are you okay with that…?"

Arching a brow, Kwon Minhyuk asked in return, "Why wouldn't I? This is your home."

Kang Jinha nearly choked at that matter-of-fact and straightforward tone. "But… but you…" he had no idea how to phrase the questions he wanted to ask so desperately. Is it okay? Is it really okay for me to occupy the space that should have belonged to you in the first place? Then where will you be staying? Will you get mad at me and start to resent me? 

He knew how unreasonable it would sound if he were to say it out loud. His cousin was not the type of person who cared about such trivial matters but… this little family was just so precious to him. Too precious that he could only cradle it within the cusp of his palm tenderly and carefully, fearing that any missteps on his part would cause it to fall apart once more.

"Don't worry about him, Jinha-ya," Oh Yoonji waved her hand with a careless laugh. "Your cousin can stay in the guestroom. Even the sofa in the living room will do for him! Don't look at how we appear so carefree today. Truth to be told, we're often so busy that we may not return for days, so you can live in this house without worries, okay?"

Kang Jinha knew that his aunt had misunderstood and thought that he felt awkward living with people he was not too familiar with, but he did not say anything and simply swallowed back his words with a nod. 

Next, he was pulled downstairs where the three of them occupied the large dining table. 

Oh Yoonji, as the host, kept piling up various dishes onto his plate. Kang Jinha had no way to refuse so he could only stuff one bite after another into his mouth mechanically and say they were delicious whenever he was asked. But honestly, he did not even register how the meal tasted. The base of his tongue felt extremely bitter and there seemed to be a heavy lump lodged in his throat, sending a suffocating sensation to his gut. 

The better they treated him, the more unbearable it was for him.

It's enough, he wished he could tell them outright. Stop being so kind to me. You don't have the slightest idea what I've done to you before so… don't be so good to me. I'm not worth it.

Kang Jinha had no idea how he managed to get through the whole dinner. By the time he returned to his room, the sky outside had already turned the shade of spilled ink. 

After closing the door behind him, he stood still for a few seconds as his gaze swept across the unfamiliar space inch by inch, taking in the placement of each furniture and comparing it to the one in his memory before his stubborn mind finally acknowledged that—

There were really no traces of Kwon Minhyuk in this room… nor would there ever be in the future. 

Taking in a deep breath, Kang Jinha strode toward his suitcases in the corner and rummaged through them for a while before finding his stationery. Without even bothering to move, he spread out his notebook on top of the carpet, flipped to a new page and began to write furiously.

Why was he reborn? Out of billions of people in this world, was he the only one who received this miraculous opportunity or were there others somewhere out there? 

He had no idea. He did not even know where to start searching for the answers. But one thing for sure, Kang Jinha wasn't about to waste the golden chance that had been granted upon him. 

All the memories of the past life were still fresh in his mind, but he couldn't say for certain it would stay the same tomorrow or even a week later – he was too used to preparing himself for the worst case scenario. He truly feared that one day he would wake up without even realizing that these memories had been wiped out. 

So just in case… before the worst could happen, he needed to write everything down to the smallest details!