chapter 25: getting ready

I spent the next hour packing the rest of my belongings, though my thoughts kept drifting to Alaria. Her determination, her words—there was something about her that was hard to ignore. She had always been persistent, but this felt different. Personal.

Veylara watched me closely from her usual spot in the room, her veils shifting slightly as if a breeze moved them. "She cares for you," she said, her tone almost contemplative.

I paused mid-fold, looking up at her. "What makes you say that?" She tilted her head, the silver-lined curls spilling over her shoulders. "Oh, it's written all over her. The way she speaks to you, the way she fights to stay by your side. It's endearing, really. But… also dangerous." I frowned, setting the shirt into the bag. "Dangerous how?"

"Attachment is a liability," she said smoothly, her golden eyes piercing even through the veil. "You're about to embark on a path that demands focus, Noctis. Distractions like her could complicate things." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "She's not a distraction. Alaria's always been… persistent. It's just who she is." Veylara stepped closer, her presence almost tangible despite her ethereal form. "You might think that now. But emotions have a way of twisting intentions. She may want to protect you, but in the end, she'll only slow you down." I didn't respond, unsure if I agreed or not. Alaria was strong, yes, but her unpredictable nature made her difficult to read. And yet…

The knock at my door broke my thoughts. Again? I hesitated before crossing the room, wondering if Alaria had come back for round two. When I opened the door, I found someone else entirely.

Sera stood there, her sapphire-blue eyes red-rimmed, as if she'd spent the night crying. She clutched the hem of her sweater tightly, her golden hair slightly disheveled. "I need to talk to you," she said, her voice soft but resolute. I stepped aside, letting her in. She moved to the middle of the room and turned to face me, her posture stiff. "You're really leaving, aren't you?" she asked, her tone wavering. I nodded, closing the door behind me. "I am. It's something I have to do." Her jaw tightened, and for a moment, she said nothing. Then she took a deep breath, her hands balling into fists. "Why? Why do you have to go? You don't have to do this alone, Noctis. You have people here who care about you."

"I know," I said quietly, my chest tightening. "But it's not about that, Sera. It's about figuring out who I am, what I'm supposed to do. I can't do that if I stay here." Her eyes brimmed with tears, but she blinked them away, her expression hardening. "You're running away. That's what this is."

I flinched at her words, but she pressed on.

"You think leaving will solve everything? That you'll magically find all the answers out there?" She stepped closer, her voice rising. "You're leaving us behind, Noctis. Me, Armand, even Alaria. Do you realize how selfish that is?" I swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words. "It's not about being selfish. It's about doing what I need to do. For myself." She shook her head, tears finally spilling over. "You're so blind sometimes. You have people here who would fight for you, who would stand by you no matter what. And you're throwing that away for… what? A chance to 'find yourself'?" Her words cut deep, but I forced myself to stand firm. "I'm not throwing anything away. I'll come back, Sera. I promise." Her laugh was bitter, her tears falling freely now. "You don't get it, do you? Once you leave, everything changes. You can't just pick up where you left off. People move on, Noctis. And maybe… maybe I will too."

The room felt unbearably heavy as her words sank in. I opened my mouth to respond, but she didn't give me the chance.

"Goodbye, Noctis," she said, her voice breaking as she turned and walked out the door. I stood there for a long time, staring at the spot where she'd been. "Well," Veylara said softly, breaking the silence. "That was… intense." I didn't reply, my chest aching. I wanted to believe Sera was wrong, that I could leave and still come back to the life I'd built here. But deep down, her words echoed a truth I couldn't ignore. Veylara stepped closer, her presence as calming as it was unsettling. "You made the right choice," she murmured. "Sometimes, you have to let go of the past to embrace the future."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "It doesn't make it any easier."

"It never does," she said, her voice almost tender. I sank onto the edge of the bed, my thoughts swirling. This journey was starting to feel heavier than I'd anticipated, and I hadn't even left yet.

The knock at the door startled me out of my thoughts. My heart sank—another confrontation? I wasn't sure I could take any more of them today. Veylara faded back into the shadows, her golden eyes gleaming with interest. "Ah, the persistent one returns," she murmured, her voice laced with amusement.

I stood and opened the door, bracing myself. Sure enough, Alaria stood there, her crimson waves cascading over her shoulders and her emerald-green eyes shimmering with mischief. A large pack was slung over her back, and she leaned against the doorframe with a smirk. "Well, are you ready yet?" she asked, her voice playful but with an undertone of something else—something calculated. "I've been waiting." I blinked, taken aback. "You've… been waiting?" She rolled her eyes, stepping into the room without invitation. "Obviously. Did you think I'd just let you go off on some grand adventure without me?" She tossed her bag onto the floor and plopped herself down on the edge of my bed, crossing her legs like she owned the place. "I never asked you to come with me," I said, my voice sharper than I intended. Alaria raised an eyebrow, unfazed. "No, you didn't. But you don't have to ask, darling. I've already decided." She tilted her head, her gaze locking onto mine. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

I sighed, closing the door and leaning against it. "Alaria, this isn't a game. This is serious. I don't know what's waiting for me out there, and I can't guarantee your safety." Her grin widened, predatory and confident. "I don't need you to guarantee anything. I can take care of myself, and you know it." She leaned back on her hands, her gaze challenging. "Besides, wouldn't it be nice to have someone watching your back? You might actually enjoy my company if you gave it a chance." I shook my head, my frustration mounting. "This isn't about enjoying company. This is about figuring out who I am, what I need to do. Alone." Alaria's smirk faltered for a moment, but she quickly recovered, her eyes narrowing. "You keep saying that, Noctis. 'Alone this, alone that.' Do you even know what you're looking for? Or are you just running away from everything because it's easier than facing it?" Her words hit a nerve, and I clenched my fists at my sides. "You don't understand," I said through gritted teeth. "Then explain it to me," she shot back, her voice sharp. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're pushing everyone away for no good reason."

I opened my mouth to retort, but Veylara's voice cut through the tension. "Let her come."

I froze, my breath catching. Veylara stepped out of the shadows, her veils shifting as she moved closer. Alaria didn't seem to notice her presence, her eyes still locked on mine. "What?" I whispered, barely audible. "She wants to come," Veylara said smoothly, her golden eyes gleaming with something I couldn't quite place. "Let her. She may prove useful." Alaria's expression softened slightly, mistaking my hesitation for something else. She stood and stepped closer, her voice dropping to a near-whisper. "I'm not asking you to carry me or protect me, Noctis. I'm asking you to let me be there. With you." I looked into her emerald eyes, then glanced at Veylara, whose gaze was steady and unyielding.

"Fine," I said finally, my voice barely above a sigh. "But don't say I didn't warn you." Alaria's face lit up with a victorious grin. "You won't regret this," she said, her tone teasing as she moved past me to grab her bag. She settled back on the bed, making herself comfortable.

Veylara's voice was quiet in my mind as I turned to my own belongings. "This will be interesting." I wasn't sure if she meant that in a good way or not.

The room felt suffocating as Alaria continued making herself at home, her bag already unpacked slightly on my bed. Her grin was far too smug, like she'd won some sort of battle.

"Alright, if you're coming with me, then get ready. We're leaving now," I said, my voice firm as I grabbed my pack and slung it over my shoulder. Alaria perked up, hopping to her feet. "Finally! I thought you'd never say those words." She adjusted the straps of her own pack, her emerald eyes sparkling with excitement. I opened the door, and we stepped into the dimly lit hallway. Veylara was silent, her veiled form barely visible in the shadows. She lingered just out of sight, her presence still heavy in the air around me. As we walked, I couldn't shake the surreal feeling of leaving everything behind. The familiar creak of the wooden floors beneath my boots, the faint chatter of students in the distance—it was all about to become a memory. I glanced back toward my room one last time before heading toward the stairs.

Alaria caught my expression and nudged me with her elbow. "Regretting your decision already?" she teased, her tone light but probing. "Not at all," I said, though my voice lacked conviction. We reached the dormitory exit, where the crisp morning air greeted us. The sun was just beginning to rise, painting the sky in hues of gold and lavender. The world seemed eerily quiet, as though it was holding its breath for what came next. Alaria took a deep breath and stretched. "Ah, freedom! Isn't it beautiful, Noctis? A whole new world waiting for us out there." I gave her a sidelong glance. "This isn't a vacation, Alaria. It's going to be dangerous." Her grin didn't falter. "Danger makes life interesting. Besides, you'll need someone to keep you on your toes."

"Or keep me distracted," I muttered under my breath. As we passed through the gates of the academy, a faint voice echoed in my mind. "Keep her close, Noctis. You'll see why soon enough." Veylara's words sent a shiver down my spine, though I didn't respond. Alaria, oblivious to the exchange, was humming a tune as she walked beside me. The way she seemed completely at ease with the situation was unnerving.

"So," she said after a few moments of silence, "where are we headed first? Got a grand plan, or are we just winging it?"

I hesitated. "I… haven't figured out all the details yet." Her laughter rang out, light and carefree. "Perfect! Winging it is way more fun." As much as I hated to admit it, her energy was infectious. For the first time since making the decision to leave, I felt a small flicker of something other than dread.

Hope.