Maybe One Day The Leaves Will Fall Again

As the credits rolled, Renee stretched and turned to me with a grin. "So, what did you think? Cinematic masterpiece, right?"

A masterpiece of shit, that's for sure.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling. "Oh yeah, definitely Oscar-worthy. The CGI sharks were so realistic."

Renee laughed, gathering up our empty plates. "Mission accomplished then. At least it took your mind off things for a while."

I nodded, suddenly feeling the weight of reality settling back in. "Yeah, thanks for that. I needed it."

Renee seemed to believe me. "It's getting late, I'm going to head back. Wouldn't want to keep Jacob waiting."

"Jacob?"

"Oh right, my boyfriend," Renee explained. "I mentioned him before, remember? The mechanic?"

I nodded, vaguely recalling her mentioning a boyfriend. "Right, of course. Tell him I said hi."

Renee gave me a curious look. "You okay, Yuri? You seem a bit out of it."

I forced a smile. "Yeah, just tired. It's been a long day."

She studied me for a moment longer before nodding. "Alright. Well, get some rest. And don't stress too much about the case, okay? Karina's got your back."

As Renee gathered her things to leave, I felt a pang of something I couldn't quite name—gratitude for her friendship, maybe, or longing for simpler times. 

"Hey, Renee?" I called as she reached the door.

She turned back, hand on the doorknob. "Yeah?"

I hesitated, not quite sure what I wanted to say. "Thanks. For tonight. For... everything, really."

Renee's expression softened into a warm smile. "Anytime, Yuri. That's what friends are for, right?"

As the door closed behind her, I was left alone with my thoughts once again. The distraction had been nice, but now reality came flooding back. The case, the trial, Karina... it all swirled in my mind like a brewing storm.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. Sleep. I needed sleep. Maybe things would look clearer in the morning.

As I got ready for bed, my phone buzzed with a text. It was from Karina.

Karina: Just wanted to check in. Hope you're doing okay. Remember, we've got this.

I stared at Karina's text for a long moment, my thumb hovering over the reply button. A part of me wanted to pour out everything I was feeling - the anxiety about the case, the confusion over seeing her again, the weight of our shared history. But another part, the part that I had learned to keep my guard up, held back.

Finally, I typed out a simple response:

Me: thanks

Me: im hanging in there

Me: see u soon

I hit send before I could overthink it, then set my phone aside and crawled into bed. As I lay there in the darkness, my mind raced with thoughts of the upcoming trial. What if we lost? What if I lost everything I'd worked for? And then there was Karina...

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my brain to quiet down. Sleep. I just needed sleep.

As I drifted off to my slumber, my mind swirled with fragments of the day—Karina's determined expression as she outlined our legal strategy, Renee's carefree laughter during the movie, and the weight of the case file in my hands.

***

I woke with a start, disoriented in the pre-dawn darkness of my bedroom. My heart was racing, though I couldn't remember what I'd been dreaming about.

Glancing at the clock, I saw it was only 4:30 AM. Too early to get up, but I knew sleep wouldn't come easily now. With a sigh, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and headed downstairs.

The house was quiet, the only sound was the soft hum of the refrigerator. I made my way to the kitchen, flicking on the light. It cast a harsh glow that made me squint. I grabbed a glass of water and leaned against the counter, scrolling mindlessly through my phone. No new messages. Not that I expected any at this hour.

My thumb hovered over Karina's contact. Part of me wanted to reach out, to have someone to talk to in this quiet, lonely moment. But what would I even say? Hey, can't sleep, thinking about how you're defending me in a murder trial and also our complicated past? Yeah, that would go over well.

I set the phone down with a sigh and rubbed my eyes. The weight of everything - the case, my career hanging in the balance, seeing Karina again after all these years - felt crushingly heavy in the pre-dawn stillness.

A creaking floorboard made me look up. Brooke stood in the doorway, hair tousled from sleep, squinting against the kitchen light.

"Yuri? What are you doing up?" she asked, her voice still groggy.

I shrugged, trying for nonchalance. "Couldn't sleep. Just getting some water."

Brooke studied me for a moment, then padded over to the fridge. She pulled out the milk and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet. "Well, since we're both up, might as well have some hot chocolate."

I watched as she heated the milk on the stove, stirring in cocoa powder and a touch of cinnamon. The familiar routine was oddly comforting.

"Want to talk about it?" Brooke asked, handing me a steaming mug.

I took a sip, letting the warmth of the cocoa spread through me. Too sweet… Just how much sugar did this girl add? "Not much to talk about. Just... a lot on my mind, I guess."

Brooke nodded, leaning against the counter opposite me. "The case?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "And... other things."

She raised an eyebrow. "Other things like your ex-girlfriend being your lawyer?"

I nearly choked on my hot chocolate. "How did you-"

"Renee told me," Brooke said with a shrug. "She was worried about you."

Of course she was. She's too good for me. I made a mental note to have a word with Renee about keeping things to herself.

"It's... complicated," I said finally.

Brooke snorted. "No kidding. Want to uncomplicate it for me?"

I sighed, setting my mug down."It's just... seeing Karina again, after all this time," I began, struggling to find the right words. "It's bringing up a lot of old feelings. And now she's my lawyer, which makes everything even more complicated."

Brooke nodded, her expression sympathetic. "I can imagine. You two were pretty serious back then, weren't you?"

I let out a humourless laugh. "Yeah, we were. I mean, we planned out everything, from the wedding to the honeymoon—we even started thinking of baby names. But then…"

"...But then she had to go into hiding," Brooke finished for me.

I stared at Brooke, stunned. "How did you know about that?"

Brooke gave me a sad smile. "I overheard Mom and Dad talking about it once, years ago. They didn't think I was old enough to understand."

I let out a long breath, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah, well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now."

Brooke reached out and put a hand on my arm. "What happened? Who did she need protection from?"

I hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. But Brooke's concerned expression and the late hour made me want to open up.

"It's... complicated," I began. "Karina's dad used to have some connections to organized crime. But he ended up cooperating with the authorities, which led to the arrest of a major mob boss."

Brooke's eyes widened. "Wow. I had no idea."

I nodded, continuing quietly. "The thing is, even though her dad helped take down the boss, there were still people who wanted revenge. There was an underground hit put out on Karina's dad."

"That's terrible," Brooke whispered. "So what happened?"

I took a deep breath, memories flooding back. "Karina's family had to go into witness protection. Last time I saw her, she snuck out of the house just to meet up with me."

"She told me we had to break up that night," I continued softly. "I understood why, but it hurt. It was the first time I'd seen her cry.

Brooke squeezed my arm gently. "I'm so sorry, Yuri. That must have been awful."

I nodded, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. "It was. For a long time, I held out hope that she'd come back. That we'd pick up where we left off. But as the years went by..."

"You had to move on," Brooke finished.

"Yeah," I said with a sigh. "Or at least, I tried to."

Brooke studied me for a moment, her expression thoughtful. "And now she's back in your life, defending you in this case."

I nodded, feeling the weight of it all settle on my shoulders again. "It's just... a lot. Seeing her again, working with her. All these old feelings coming back up."

"Do you still have feelings for her?" Brooke asked gently.

I paused, considering the question. Did I? The rush of emotions I felt when I first saw Karina again was undeniable. But was it just nostalgia? Or something more?

"I don't know," I admitted finally. "It's all so complicated now. We're different people. And she's my lawyer, for fuck's sake."

Brooke nodded sympathetically. "That is complicated. But maybe this is a chance to get some closure, you know? To finally talk things through and move on, one way or another."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Maybe. I just... I don't want to mess up the case by bringing personal stuff into it. My career is on the line here."

"I get that," Brooke said. "But Yuri, you can't just ignore your feelings either. That's not healthy."

I knew she was right, but the thought of confronting everything with Karina made my stomach churn. "I'll figure it out," I said, forcing a small smile. "Thanks for listening, sis."

Brooke rolled her eyes but smiled back. "Anytime, you big dummy. Now try to get some sleep, okay? You look like crap."

As Brooke headed back upstairs, I lingered in the kitchen, nursing the last of my hot chocolate. The conversation with my sister had helped, but I still felt unsettled.

I glanced at the clock. 5:00 AM. Too early to start the day, but I knew sleep wouldn't come easily now. With a sigh, I grabbed my jacket and keys. Maybe a drive would help clear my head.

The streets were quiet as I cruised through the pre-dawn city. Streetlights cast pools of yellow light on empty sidewalks, and the occasional early morning jogger ghosted past. I drove without any real destination in mind, letting muscle memory guide me through familiar neighbourhoods.

Before I realized it, I found myself parking near High Park. As the sky began to lighten with the first hints of dawn, I got out of the car and started walking along one of the trails. The park was quiet and still, with only the occasional chirp of an early bird breaking the silence.

I found a bench overlooking Grenadier Pond and sat down, watching the mist rise off the water's surface. The peacefulness of the scene was a stark contrast to the turmoil in my mind.

As I sat there, memories of Karina flooded back—our first date in this very park, picnics by the pond, stolen kisses under the cherry blossoms. It all felt like a lifetime ago.

I thought about how much had changed since then. How much we had both changed. The idealistic teenagers we once were seemed so far removed from who we are now.

As I sat there lost in thought, the sky gradually lightened from deep blue to pale lavender. The first golden rays of sunlight began to peek through the trees, casting long shadows across the dewy grass. 

A cool breeze rustled the leaves, carrying with it the earthy scent of autumn. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to center myself in the peaceful moment.

When I opened my eyes again, I noticed an elderly couple walking hand-in-hand along the path near the pond. They moved slowly but steadily, perfectly in sync with each other. As they passed by my bench, the woman gave me a warm smile and a small wave. 

I found myself wondering about their story. How long had they been together? What challenges had they faced? How had they managed to stay connected through all of life's ups and downs?

The irony wasn't lost on me. Karina and I had once dreamed of growing old together, taking walks in this very park. Now those dreams felt like relics from another lifetime.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. What am I doing here? Sitting here isn't going to solve anything...

As I sat watching the morning light reflect off the pond, I felt a vibration in my pocket. I pulled out my phone to see a text from Karina.

Karina: Meeting with the prosecutor this afternoon. Need to prep you beforehand. Can you come to the office at 10?

Reality came crashing back. I sighed, knowing I needed to focus on the case, not dwell on the past. 

Me: ill be there

As I walked back to my car, I tried to clear my head and mentally prepare for the day ahead. The peaceful morning in the park felt like it belonged to another life - one where I wasn't facing a murder charge, where Karina and I were still together, where everything was simpler. But that wasn't my reality anymore.

I drove home to shower and change, steeling myself for whatever challenges the day might bring.

***

The law offices of Racer Law loomed before me, all sleek glass and polished steel. I took a deep breath, adjusting my tie one last time before pushing through the revolving door. 

The receptionist greeted me with a practiced smile. "Mr. Yuren? Ms. Kana is expecting you. Fifteenth floor, conference room C."

I nodded my thanks and headed for the elevator, trying to ignore the nervous energy thrumming through my body. As the floors ticked by, I focused on steadying my breathing. This is just another meeting. Just business. Calm yourself.

I paused outside the door, taking a deep breath to steady myself before knocking.

"Come in," Karina's voice called from inside.

I opened the door to find Karina seated at the conference table, surrounded by stacks of papers and open law books. She looked up as I entered, giving me a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Yuri, thank you for coming in on such short notice," she said, gesturing for me to take a seat. "We have a lot to cover before the meeting with the prosecutor this afternoon."

I nodded, settling into the chair across from her. "Of course. What do we need to go over?"

Karina pulled out a thick folder and opened it. "I want to review your statement again and prep you for the kinds of questions the prosecutor is likely to ask. They're going to try to trip you up, to find inconsist

The elevator dinged, and I stepped out onto the fifteenth floor. I made my way down the hallway, my footsteps muffled by the plush carpet. As I approached conference room C, I could hear muted voices from inside.

I paused outside the door, taking one final deep breath to compose myself before knocking.

"Come in," Karina's voice called from inside.

I entered to find Karina seated at the large conference table, surrounded by stacks of papers and open law books. She looked up as I walked in, offering a small smile.

"Good morning, Yuri. Thanks for coming in on short notice."

I nodded, taking a seat across from her. "Of course. So, what's the plan for today?"

Karina straightened a pile of papers in front of her. "We need to go over your statement again and prepare you for the kinds of questions the prosecutor might ask. They're going to try to trip you up, so we need to make sure your responses are clear and consistent."

I felt a knot forming in my stomach. "Alright. Where do we start?"

For the next hour, Karina grilled me on every detail of that night at the café. She asked about my state of mind, my training, the exact sequence of events leading up to the shooting. Each time I answered, she'd probe deeper, looking for any inconsistencies or weak points the prosecution might exploit.

"Remember, Yuri," she said, her tone gentle but firm, "you need to be clear about why you felt the lethal force was necessary. The prosecution will try to suggest you had other options."

I nodded, running a hand through my hair. "I know. It's just... reliving it all again, it's not easy."

Karina's expression softened slightly. "I understand. But we need to be prepared for anything they might throw at us."

As we continued our prep, I couldn't help but notice how easily we fell into sync, anticipating each other's thoughts and ideas. But…

I didn't want to get the wrong idea.

"Hey, Karina?" I started.

She raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath. Inhale… Exhale… You got this Yuri.

"What do you think of me after all these years?"

Karina paused, her pen hovering over the legal pad in front of her. She looked at me, her expression unreadable.

"Yuri..." she began, her voice soft. "I don't think this is the time or place for that conversation."

I felt my face flush with embarrassment. Of course it wasn't. What was I thinking?

"Right, sorry," I mumbled, looking down at my hands. "I shouldn't have asked."

Karina sighed, setting down her pen. "No, actually… let's talk about this. It's been bothering me too." 

I looked up at her in shock. She was flustered.

There was a moment of awkward silence before Karina cleared her throat again. 

"I don't think I'm in love with you anymore, Yuri."

I felt my heart sink at Karina's words, even though I had expected them. Of course she wasn't in love with me anymore. It had been years, and we were different people now. Still, hearing her say it out loud stung more than I cared to admit.

"I understand," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "It's been a long time. We've both changed."

Karina nodded, her expression softening slightly. "We have. But Yuri, that doesn't mean I don't care about you. You were a huge part of my life, and in many ways, you helped shape who I am today."

I swallowed hard, not trusting myself to speak. Karina continued, her voice gentle.

Karina paused, choosing her words carefully. "But we can't go back to what we were. Too much has happened, too much time has passed. We're different people now."

I nodded, trying to ignore the ache in my chest. "I know. You're right."

She reached across the table and gently placed her hand on mine. "Yuri, I want you to know that I'm here for you - as your lawyer and as someone who cares about you. But we need to keep things professional. For both our sakes, and for the sake of this case."

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. "Of course. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Karina gave my hand a gentle squeeze before pulling away. "Don't apologize. I think we both needed to clear the air. Now, let's get back to preparing for the prosecutor's questions."

I expected her answer, obviously. it's been many years. We've changed. Why did it hurt so much?

***

As we sat on the newly repainted green bench, we looked up the park within the embrace of each other. The beginning of autumn had been put upon us, wrapping us with a chill that foreshadowed what was to come. The scenery was beautiful, but so was she.

"Yuri, look!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"What?"

"The leaves are starting to fall!"

I was about to follow her eyes but gave up halfway. Her eyes distracted me. The ethereal glow of them trapped me in place.

I hoped to myself that I could be with her when the leaves fell for the first time again.