Chapter 32: Assurance.

Gu Shan woke up the following feeling sore,a result of dancing vigorously the previous night and a slight migraine accompaning it. The room was already bright with sunlight indicating it was around eight in the morning. In one to two hours he was supposed to attend his lecture. Feeling disoriented,he dragged himself to bathroom to fix his mess. He carried out his morning routine and prepared himself for school.

Liu Daxun was not yet back from his aunt's place which only meant that Gu Shan would attend the lecture alone. When he left the apartment,he passed by a pastry shop and had some light breakfast before heading out to school. He could have waited for the bartender duo who usually had a lecture at the same time but he didn't want to spoil his morning by getting in contact with Li Yunxi. He knew they would act awkward around each other after what happened and he hated awkward. When he entered the auditorium,some of the students had already gathered. He sighed wearily imagining how he would spend his entire day alone. He wouldn't even be able to go for lunch.

When he went back to the apartment in the evening,his roommate had just gotten back looking all bright and cheerful after a well spent weekend at his favourite aunt's place. He even stocked homemade foods in the fridge and couldn't wait to share them with Gu Shan.

"ShanShan my aunt made dumplings for us , would you like to have a taste?"Liu Daxun asked wafting the scent of the freshly made dumplings towards his nose and moaning in satisfaction.

"Mm,"Gu Shan replied bluntly. He was already drained from walking in public alone.

Liu Daxun was too excited however to notice that though. He gladly shared his food making sure his friend had a taste of whatever dish he had brought- be it Kung Pao chicken,mapo tofu,sweet and sour pork.

"If I mix all these foods won't I get sick?"Gu Shan complained when a piece of pork was forcibly stuffed in his mouth.

"How do they taste?"Liu Daxun asked eagerly ignoring his friend's complaints.

"Are you feeding me all this just to get me to review your aunt's food?"

"Partly yes."

"Five stars. That's my review,"Gu Shan said with finality and started walking away to fetch some water for himself.

"I'll text my aunt about it,"Liu Daxun said picking up his phone excitedly.

"If you love your aunt that much then how much do you love your mom?" Gu Shan asked eyeing him suspiciously.

Liu Daxun's body suddenly became tense, his grip on the phone tightened and the bright smile that had been painting his face the whole time dissipated only to be replaced by a frown. His gaze was fixed on the dishes on the table. Gu Shan observed him keenly and felt a little guilty for being the cause of it.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that,"Gu Shan apologized in a remorseful tone.

"No it's okay. My mom loves my younger brother more than me. She rarely pays attention to me saying I'm old enough to manage on my own so I don't need her care," Liu Daxun revealed, sadness etched across his face.

He lacked motherly love and his aunt happened to provide him with it. She filled the void left by his mother in his life and so Liu Daxun held on to her like the little hope to help him cross the bridge. With her around,he was allowed to switch back to being a needy kid demanding all the attention and love in the world.

*****

Li Yunxi let the shower water flow over his body to wash away the negative feelings bottled inside him. After the mistake of a kiss,he had been feeling down the whole day. He hoped the water would help him lift his mood and maybe boost his energy to be able to work efficiently at the club. Immediately he stepped out of the bathroom,he wiped himself dry,put on some lotion and dressed up. He blow-dried his hair which had now been dyed blonde. That day after his lecture,he and Xiao Hui had ended up at the salon and they both dyed their hair but with different colours.

*****

Even when he served drinks that evening Li Yunxi was a little bit distracted and kept zoning out from time to time. Xiao Hui's constant reminders were what kept him sane at work.

"I'm going out a little bit, I'll be back ,"Li Yunxi said and walked away without waiting for a response. When he reached the smoking area he took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it . He leaned against the wall as he took slow deliberate puffs of the cigarette.

"What is wrong? You've never smoked for a while.Is there something bothering you?"Xiao Hui asked with concern while taking slow footsteps towards his friend.

"It's nothing serious.I just thought of my dad and I'm kinda feeling down,"he lied but it was valid enough to qualify as a reason for being sad. He had no intention of revealing his complicated relationship with Gu Shan to Xiao Hui no matter how close they were.

"Actually someone is here to see you,"Xiao Hui suddenly confessed.

"Is it Su Liang? Tell her I'm busy,"Li Yunxi said coldly.

"It's not her. It's someone else . Your cocktail disciple," Xiao Hui revealed with a slight smirk of amusement.

"Gu Shan?!"Li Yunxi uttered in disbelief.

"He said he has something important to talk to you . Should I tell him to come here?"

"Sure,"Li Yunxi said in a low voice. Xiao Hui turned on his heel and left the area.

A few minutes later his guest arrived. He looked a bit disturbed by how poorly lit the place was but irregardless of it he kept walking towards Li Yunxi. Li Yunxi was feeling nervous right now but he tried his best to hide it. He wasn't sure what Gu Shan would decide regarding their relationship after the kiss.

"Hi,"Gu Shan greeted him gently.

"Hi,"Li Yunxi greeted back,his velvety voice barely above a whisper.

"I didn't know you smoke ," Gu Shan began hesitantly.

"Oh this? Does it disturb you?"Li Yunxi asked and stomped the remaining piece of cigarette and tossed it in the ashtray.

"You didn't have to do that. I didn't say I was disturbed."

"Oh I'm sorry about that,"Li Yunxi chuckled awkwardly.

"By the way we didn't complete our syllabus for learning how to mix cocktails. I was wondering whether we'll still be doing that."

"I'm sorry I can't teach you anymore but I can recommend someone else."

"What if I want you?"

"After what I did last night I'm feeling guilty and angry at myself for allowing it to happen. I need to sort out my feelings and I can't do that while you're around,"Li Yunxi confessed.

"I was serious when I said I don't care about the kiss. I don't judge you or blame you for it. Don't feel bad about it. I assure you I wasn't offended at all.I liked it just as how much you liked it. I know you don't date and I'm not asking you to take any responsibility because I'm also not sure of myself and my feelings so how can I suddenly demand you to date me just because we kissed? I'm also discovering a new version of me so I can't get into something serious while I'm in the process of discovering my true feelings,"Gu Shan conveyed the message in the most heartfelt way possible.He knew he was eloquent when presenting his projects but not in other areas.

"That's a nice speech there,,"Li Yunxi remarked and smiled,"So you're saying you're not ready to date either and are ready to try out things outside relationships?"

"Yes I might want to try but I'm not sure about it. I'm afraid of relationships right now after what happened with my ex,"he admitted.

"I understand. I'm sorry for being the reason."

"No it's not your fault you didn't know she had a boyfriend,"Gu Shan said assuringly.

"I'm glad you feel that way."

Bingo! Gu Shan had never experienced such a sweet victorious feeling like the one he had that night. Assurance seemed to work better to trick Li Yunxi into feeling they shared a common belief. Gu Shan assured him that whatever he was feeling or whatever way he was behaving was justified and right. He was able to input confidence in Li Yunxi through his assurance speech. He encouraged him to stop feeling guilty of his actions by acting like he didn't mind.

In the dim light,Gu Shan looked up into Li Yunxi dark eyes,his doe eyes scanning for any emotions etched across his handsome face. Li Yunxi stared back at him with the same intensity. Gu Shan noticed the sparks of lust shining in Li Yunxi's eyes and immediately knew the guy was dying to kiss him but was a bit hesitant still feeling guilty about the other kiss.

To seal the assurance,Gu Shan stretched himself a little and pecked him on the lips. Li Yunxi got turned on and immediately pulled Gu Shan closer capturing his lips in a heated kiss pouring out all his lust. He squeezed Gu Shan's butt and he gasped in reaction and he himself penetrated his agile tongue inside Gu Shan's mouth. Their tongues danced merrily against each other,with their saliva mixing almost forming the saliva cocktail Gu Shan had suggested. They only pulled away from each other when their lungs suddenly demanded the oxygen that had been deprived during the kissing process.

Gu Shan casted his gaze across their feet feeling shy. It was the first time he kissed someone outside the house. He wasn't a huge fan of public intimacy so such an act definitely had a huge impact on him.

"Yunxi-ge..."Gu Shan called him out in a low uncertain voice.

"Yes?"

"Can you keep this thing a secret between us? Don't tell the other guys even if it's not that serious."

"Yeah of course I won't tell anyone. We'll keep our meetings strictly discreet and if you feel like you want to be in serious relationship we can stop this fling,"Li Yunxi assured him.

"Thanks."

"You're so shy I wonder where you got confidence that day we had a threesome."

"Can we not talk about it? I'm still embarrassed about it,"Gu Shan pleaded.

"Of course,"Li Yunxi laughed,"You're cute when you're shy,"he said ruffling Gu Shan's hair.

"By the way your mouth tastes like cigarette,"Gu Shan said cringing.

"Sorry about that."

" I don't mind. Anyway,let's go back,"Gu Shan suggested.

"One more thing. Even if we won't be dating,are we allowed to get to know each other well? Like our likes and dislikes?"

"Of course,"Gu Shan confirmed.