Chapter 10: Burden of the Living

Li…

Lion…

LIONE!

Ahhh!!

"Pfft, I'm sorry to wake you up; were you dreaming?"

As my blurry eyes began to focus, I turned around to see my closest friend.

I stared at her for a few seconds

"I… I dreamt about her again, Sheila; I dreamt of Elly; I dreamt of them," I said as I looked down on the hard, cracked ground I had forced myself to sleep on. Tears threatened to burst from my eyes

"Even my dreams torment me, cursing me to relive that day over and over and over again," I said as grit my teeth.

"Showing me how useless I am. Tormenting my mind to show that nothing I do will ever change, that I shouldn't be aliv…"

Pshhh!!

My head suddenly turned to my side as I felt a searing pain on my cheek. Dazed for a few seconds, I looked up to see Sheila... crying.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Lione!" 

"After the sacrifice, she, Nigel, Adam, and Lily made to save us, entrusting you with the future they imagined. You dared to question their choice."

My eyes widen as I look down again; I couldn't look her in the face.

"You think I don't understand what you're feeling. The pain, the anguish, the sadness, the anger—oh the anger, the anger of being weak." 

I twitched at that statement.

"The anger of being unable to save the ones you care about. The anger of knowing that I would only be in the way if I decided to help them."

"Of course you know, I was right beside you when it happened. When OUR friends, my husband, and your fiance were taken away from us. Forever ripped from our lives."

I could hear her voice trembling.

"So don't you dare finish that sentence, Lione. How dare you think of belittling your very life? A life they sacrifice theirs for."

"Do you think they would sacrifice themselves if they thought you and everyone else's life wasn't worth it?"

She kneels in front of me and lifts my head. Tears flow down her face as sadness fills her being.

"We are weak It's as simple as that." She said as she embraced me with a hug

"But we shouldn't give up because of that. We shouldn't stop moving forward. We should push ourselves even more. Lione, I ask this of you, don't give up; if not for yourself, do it for them, do it for me, do it for the ones they entrust to you."

"I… I'm sorry. I was only thinking of myself. I wasn't thinking of how you or anyone else would be affected."

"Good,"

"Meet me outside, when you're ready," she said as she got up and exited the tent, not once looking at me.

"Lione, think for once," I said as I slapped my cheek.

"It's not time for you to break down; everyone's depending on you."

Taking a few more seconds to compose myself, I walked out. The dry expanse greets my eyes once more; however, here there is a small settlement of about fifty people.

Haahhh

I took a deep breath.

"Let's start the day, shall we," I thought before walking toward Sheila.

It seemed she was talking with John. It better not be anything serious; my day has already gone to hell; it doesn't need a return visit.

It seems they've spotted me.

"Good morning, John, Sheila, give me the report."

"Morning, Lione. I'm sorry to say, but three more have died." John said.

And there it goes.

"Who"

"Richard, Emily, and... Rico," he said as he stuttered to finish his report.

I just stared at him 

"It finally happened," I said.

John seemed shocked by my lack of emotion, but unlike what happened to 'them,' I knew it was only a matter of time.

"I'm okay, John; I had long prepared for Rico to pass; he's a child after all. That disease that plagued him his entire life weakened him slowly but surely until he was so frail. I had long prepared for his passing."

"Bu…"

I put up my hands to stop him.

"Of course, I'm hurt, I'm furious inside that I couldn't help him in the end, that I wasn't there by his side, he was after all my son."

"However, I have watched him grow up. I was right there every step of the way and though I should be on my knees crying, my son, my boy, though weak, had one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen, just like his mother."

Heh

"Did you know he told me not to worry about him and that I should burden myself with guilt? How could my only child tell me not to worry about them; shouldn't it be the other way around? Life's funny like that sometimes."

"So I ask of you, just move on with the report, so I can bury my son. I'm all out of tears for today." I said as Sheila suddenly hugged me again.

"I'm sorry"

He turned to Sheila, wanting to say something, but she turned toward him and just shook her head.

Composing himself, he just continued.

"Everyone's almost ready to go; we just need to take down the tent."

"And what of our water and food reserves?"

"Water is within the acceptable limit, however, our food reserves are not looking so good. It'll last us for about a month"

"Shit," I said

"Yes, the situation is shit, we need to get moving as soon as possible, Lione."

"John, we'll make sure that everything is running smoothly."

"Sheila, I want you to check the food, see how much we have left, and appropriately decrease everyone's rations." 

"Even the children," she asked.

"Even them, but make sure they have enough so they can still have energy. The situation isn't ideal as always, but we have to think logically. We don't know when we'll find anything to hunt; it could take weeks, if not the whole month, which would be less than ideal."

"I work on it right away, Lione," she said as she started walking towards our stockpile.

"You ready? Well, even if you aren't, you have to," I chuckled.

He laughed

"Lione, you did not just say that, who do you think you're talking to here?"

"Alright, then lets go."

________________________________________