Chapter 5 Dr. Gao, I Don't Have a Mom Anymore

After many twists and turns, they finally arrived at the hospital, but the rain still hadn't stopped. Gao Chuan helped Jiang An park the car, and suddenly realized that the girl was completely soaked in water; her pink checkered shirt was soaked through and her hair, wet with droplets, was scattered across her forehead.

"Do you have any other clothes with you?" Gao Chuan asked, taking off his raincoat.

Only then did Jiang An look down at herself, a drowned rat, and shook her head glumly.

"Would you like to go to my dormitory to change your clothes?... Staying like this, you can easily catch a cold." Gao Chuan put down the raincoat, stuffed the electric scooter keys into Jiang An's hand, and even he was surprised by what he was doing.

Hearing this, Jiang An quickly shook her head, "No need, no need, Dr. Gao, I'm fine."

"Then I'll be going up first." To alleviate the awkwardness, Jiang An took the initiative to flee, her cheeks unconsciously coloring with a flush of red.

Two people walking in the rain, hands with nowhere to rest, and that wildly beating heart.

It all seemed to come from the man in front of her.

Gao Chuan stood still, watching Jiang An scurry up the stairs, and slowly caressed his own palm, the warmth of the electric current from their brief touch.

In the torrential rain, even the wild wind seemed gentle.

Jiang An ran quickly to Fang Qing's ward, only to find that her mother was already deep in sleep. She tiptoed to put down her backpack and silently crept into the washroom, looking at her disheveled appearance in the mirror with some annoyance.

Why did he have to see her like this? After a while of disgust, she realized what she was doing and spent another five minutes joking with herself.

Such an outstanding man would certainly not like her. She was certain.

Meanwhile, Gao Chuan, soaked to the skin, entered his office, took off his wet suit jacket, donned a white coat, and looked back at the increasingly dark sky outside the window, inexplicably opening the drawer next to him; a pink color still quietly lay within.

——————

A few days later, Gao Chuan, who had already handled his affairs and was getting ready to end the shift, was suddenly interrupted by an anxious nurse bursting in, her voice frantic as if a bomb had exploded in the office.

"Dr. Gao, come quickly, Fang Qing in bed three is in trouble."

Bad news mostly comes unexpectedly.

The rain gradually submerged into the night, and Jiang An sat blankly on the side of the hospital corridor. The pitter-patter of the rain outside the window had unknowingly stopped, and the sudden pain in her chest—why did she suddenly feel like her heart had also stopped?

The quiet sound, thoughts seemingly completely isolated from the world, the atheistic Jiang An had never wished more than at that moment for the existence of deities.

Although she studied medicine, she still could not endure death.

Perhaps all this stemmed from a nightmare in her childhood, from her father who had silently gone to another world, from the terror she felt at this moment.

She sat like a statue, frozen.

This brief hour was a loan from God.

Until a tall shadow enveloped Jiang An in the chair; Gao Chuan looked down at Jiang An's drooping head, chocking up.

Words that could not be said were too cruel, in his view.

Jiang An noticed the movement above her head, tried her best to control her emotions, but the tears in the corner of her eye refused to comply.

Tears fell like the heavy rain outside the window.

Jiang An slowly lifted her head, and noticing Gao Chuan's hesitance to speak, the emotions repressed in her heart suddenly burst forth, as she said through unstoppable tears: "Dr. Gao, I don't have a mom anymore."

At this moment, the declaration of death renders any words especially powerless. For it concerns those we deeply love, those for whom we would fight against parting.

Unconsciously, Gao Chuan moved closer to Jiang An, his tall figure enveloping her as she sat frozen in the chair.

In an instant, he was embraced by the girl, as hysterical crying ensued on schedule.

He tried to reach out to stroke the girl's head. The stiff motion, however, halted mid-air, afraid that every caring gesture, replete with familiar memories, would tear at her already fragile heart.

Gao Chuan: "Everything will get better."

Fang Qing's sudden death was due to tumor mutation, and although this kind of outcome is common in medical practice, it was still a heavy blow to the attending doctors and caring nurses. A few nurses who were normally close to Fang Qing were so shocked at the news of her death that they couldn't speak.

After all, that very morning, the person who was full of life was laughing and talking with them, discussing plans for outings after being discharged.

The body was wheeled into the morgue late into the night; Jiang An knelt beside the bed, weeping alone in the slowly darkening night.

The pain of life and death was much more than imagined.

As Fang Qing's attending physician, Gao Chuan had already anticipated this possibility, but everything happened too suddenly. Just yesterday, all her readings were normal, and he had even told Fang Qing that she could be discharged for convalescence in a few days.

The man returned to his office, defeated, and still did not want to turn on the lights. He groped in the darkness and walked to the balcony.

At times like these, his craving for a cigarette would surge, he searched his pockets to no avail, and irritation filled his body.

The image of the girl with tears streaming down her face kept flashing through his mind; he wanted to comfort her, yet found no solace in any words.

The events on the operating table, never to be controlled.

In the dim space, he faintly heard Jiang An's sobbing, subtle and infinitely moving.

The next morning, the doctor who came to take over shifts walked into Gao Chuan's office to find the man resting his head on his desk.

"Dr. Gao, wake up, go home and get some sleep!" The colleague gently patted his shoulder and said.

Gao Chuan woke from his brief slumber, his vision still blurry with sleep.

"I heard about last night, you worked hard. Go home and rest."

Just as Gao Chuan was about to stand up, feeling this mixture of emotions upon hearing the other's words, his legs tingled with numbness from being in the same position too long, and he collapsed back into the chair.

So it wasn't a dream.

If only it were a dream.

The doctor beside him noticed Gao Chuan's dejected expression and shook his head helplessly, "Alright, alright, you're not a god, don't blame yourself anymore. But it's really tragic for the patient's daughter, just starting college and already without a mother. I heard her father died when she was young too, how unfortunate..."

Being usually busy with treating and saving people, Gao Chuan naturally had no interest in listening to the gossip of the nurses about the patients. But now, learning that Jiang An had become an orphan shocked him momentarily.

The sudden pang of heartache he felt, whether it was from the overflow of a bystander's compassion or the guilt of a physician who couldn't save his patient, he didn't know...