Tears wet the pillowcase

"Phew... Phew..."

In the empty room, the heavy breathing echoed like a broken bellows, gradually subsiding until it faded away.

The hulking man known as "Black-Haired Boar" was now exhausted, slumped to the side and fallen into a deep slumber.

Princess Zhao Ji's skin still glowed with the afterglow of pleasure, her delicate flesh radiating an enticing sheen, akin to fine jade, warm and captivating.

The two lay naked and entwined, as if trying to merge into each other's very bones, never to part.

Yet Zhao Ji's sleep was far from peaceful. Her delicate brows were furrowed, as if ensnared by an unresolved sorrow that trapped her in the depths of a nightmare, from which she couldn't escape.

In her dreams, the magnificent Palace of Xianyang stood tall, its painted beams and carved ridges the epitome of luxury.

In the blink of an eye, the scene shifted to the misty Summer Palace on Liang Mountain, where terraces and pavilions were nestled among the mountains and waters, resembling a fairyland.

These memories flashed through Zhao Ji's mind like a carousel, each one adding to her growing agitation and headache.

"Bu Wei... Bu Wei..."

Zhao Ji mumbled in her sleep, turning over and instinctively searching the bed for a warm embrace, a comforting haven that would let her truly relax.

Back in the Palace of Xianyang, such a scene would have caused a commotion!

The gossipy women would surely weave all sorts of malicious tales, exaggerating and spreading them far and wide!

Who knew what kind of unsavory rumors they would concoct, ruining her reputation and leaving her ashamed to face the world!

Thinking of this, Zhao Ji shuddered in her sleep, beads of sweat forming on her delicate forehead, her heart pounding with fear, a chill running down her spine.

Fortunately... Fortunately, this was Liang Mountain, far removed from the noise and strife of the Palace of Xianyang.

But what did Lu Buwei have that was so special?

Zhao Ji sometimes couldn't even fathom it herself. This question lingered like an unsolvable riddle, deeply troubling her, causing her to toss and turn, unable to find rest.

Yet, she just couldn't forget him, his deep, star-like eyes, his broad, warm chest, his intoxicating aura.

Was it true that what you couldn't have always stirred the heart, always left you yearning?

Deep within, Zhao Ji let out a self-deprecating smile, bitter and helpless.

That day, Lu Buwei and Empress Dowager Zhao had given their all. Faced with the Empress Dowager, who was as eager as a wolf in her youth, Lu Buwei was overwhelmed with fear, unable to keep up, hence his numerous excuses and evasions.

Enraged, the Empress Dowager's phoenix eyes blazed with fury. For the first time, she wielded the Imperial Seal of the Empress Dowager, issuing a stern edict commanding Lu Buwei to come and deliberate on state affairs, her tone unyielding and brooking no refusal.

Three days after the edict, Lu Buwei sent only a letter via a clerk.

In the letter, Lu Buwei tactfully explained that he was sourcing a special gift for Zhao Ji and urged her to wait patiently for a few more days with a calm heart.

The clerk also brought a chest of sedative and mind-clearing herbs personally prepared by Lu Buwei for Zhao Ji, along with detailed instructions for decoction and consumption. His concern and thoughtfulness were evident in every word, revealing his meticulous care for Zhao Ji.

Zhao Ji's heart softened once more, her earlier resentment melting into a deep longing that kept her tossing and turning, awake at night, eagerly awaiting Lu Buwei's return.

"Alas..." Zhao Ji sighed mournfully, her voice filled with helplessness and reluctance, like a gilded songbird trapped in a cage, yearning for freedom yet powerless to break free.

A month later, Yufu, the female chief steward of Lu's mansion, arrived at the Summer Palace.

Yufu brought three carts laden with tea, wine, clothes, food, and various rare treasures for Zhao Ji, along with Lu Buwei's regards, warming her heart.

Though Zhao Ji, as the Empress Dowager, had access to all manner of luxuries, making worldly treasures mundane to her, she couldn't help but marvel at the exquisite gifts from Lu Buwei, the former great merchant with a discerning eye for objects. Each item delighted her, reigniting the innocence of her youth.

Yufu was an endearing woman. Past thirty, she possessed a charm that outshone young girls, with added allure of a mature woman.

With snow-white skin, a face like a painting, and every movement exuding the charm of a mature woman, Yufu was unforgettable.

Moreover, she was exceptionally intelligent and well-traveled, becoming intimate with Zhao Ji within a day, like sisters, chatting endlessly.

Zhao Ji, by nature, disregarded rules, loathed authority, and yearned for freedom.

Finding such a kindred spirit in Yufu, who was also close to Lu Buwei, Zhao Ji felt a surge of affection and wished to be inseparable from her.

As night fell, Zhao Ji pulled Yufu onto the bed, and under the dim candlelight, they whispered and shared their innermost thoughts.

Most of their conversation revolved around Lu Buwei, the man who captivated both of them.

As they delved deeper, Zhao Ji tugged on Yufu's delicate ear, asking with a mix of curiosity, jealousy, and urgency, "Sister, are you his woman?"

Blushing, Yufu buried her head in Zhao Ji's bosom and giggled, "Originally a slave bought by him, could I not be his?" Her voice was coquettish yet candid.

Zhao Ji pressed on, her tone tinged with anxiety, "Does he still want you now?"

Yufu replied shyly, "During my menstruation, he held me twice, but couldn't do anything." Her voice was barely audible, filled with embarrassment.

Zhao Ji's heart skipped a beat, a strange feeling rising. She asked urgently, "Is he ill?" Her voice carried worry.

Yufu shook her head, speaking softly, "Dare I ask? I only confided in Lady. She laughed, saying he's been unable for nearly six months, preparing to live as a widower with his old sister."

Pausing, Yufu added, "I asked why not seek a physician. Lady said he's taken medicine for months with no effect, not even morning arousal. Afraid it's truly incurable."

Looking at Zhao Ji, Yufu's eyes held confusion, "Sister, why would such a mighty thing just stop working?" Her voice echoed the helplessness of fate.

Zhao Ji's heart raced, a storm of emotions within. She regretted misunderstanding Lu Buwei. Could it be her own excess that drained him?

A complex mix of guilt towards Lu Buwei, helplessness over her desires, and uncertainty about the future overwhelmed her.

Recalling the good times with Lu Buwei, their passionate nights and heartfelt vows, Zhao Ji was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions.

"What should I do?" Zhao Ji felt lost, wanting to see Lu Buwei, to hear his promises. But as the Empress Dowager, etiquette restrained her, preventing her from acting freely.

As dawn approached, Zhao Ji felt exhausted and lost.

"What is Lu Buwei doing now? Does he miss her too?"

Zhao Ji didn't know, but her heart was filled with regret and longing, leaving no room for anything else. It seemed the world had shrunk to just Lu Buwei.

She caressed the pillow beside her, as if it still held his warmth, with longing and reluctance.

Closing her eyes, tears soaked the pillowcase as she silently prayed for this to be a nightmare, hoping to wake up to their loving past.

Yet, she knew it was just a beautiful lie, an unattainable wish, a self-deceiving fantasy.