A Cup of Hot Water

Lin Wei opened his door to an unexpected visitor. "Yuno? What are you doing here?" He blinked, surprised.

"It's so late, and no one even told me you were coming…" It's gotta be Rita's doing, he thought.

"Sorry…" Yuno started, a jumble of thoughts vanishing the moment she spoke. After a hesitant pause, she asked softly, "…Can I… come in?"

A wave of anxiety washed over her. Her mother's warnings echoed in her mind: Never visit someone's home at night, especially a boy's. It puts them in a difficult position.

After her mother's death, everything changed. Life at Schicksal HQ felt surreal, eroding her sense of self.

Only around a select few did she feel a flicker of belonging. Anna, her precious friend at Schicksal, was one. Lin Wei was different. He'd rescued her from the hell of Nagazora City, evoking a sense of gratitude.

He also shared a similar past, a last link to her shattered world. A desperate urge to cling to him, to reclaim her past, gripped her.

Perhaps Anna's pleas to look after him also played a part.

These complex emotions burned within her, rekindling a sense of longing she hadn't felt in a while. This same longing propelled her to his door, and now, facing him, she felt a strange mix of familiarity and nervous anticipation.

For a fleeting moment, she was transported back to a simpler time.

Lin Wei watched her fidgeting, unsure what to say.

Does he… not want me here? Yuno's heart sank.

Just as despair began to creep in, Lin Wei stepped aside. "Come in," he said quietly.

Relief washed over Yuno. "Okay," she mumbled, glancing up at him before stepping inside.

Lin Wei watched the empty, dimly lit hallway before closing the door. Is tonight some kind of apology tour? he wondered, a wry smile tugging at his lips.

"Her energy is unstable," Yae Sakura warned. "Be careful not to upset her."

"Got it," Lin Wei replied. Figures. Trouble has come knocking.

Turning, he saw Yuno hovering awkwardly between the entryway and the living room, tense as a stray cat. His heart softened. "Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable."

"O-Okay…"

"Don't be so formal. I'm new here too. Probably even more clueless than you are." He gestured towards the sofa. "Just relax. I'll grab us some drinks."

"No, it's okay!"

He found the glasses easily enough and filled two, offering one to Yuno. "Hot water will take a minute. This will do for now."

"No, I…" Yuno stammered, frustrated by her own awkwardness. "…Um…"

"What is it? Why did you stop?" Lin Wei asked gently, trying to keep the conversation flowing. He downed his water in one gulp. Tastes the same as anywhere else, he thought, a little disappointed.

Yae Sakura offered a polite smile, choosing not to comment.

"Because…" Yuno struggled to voice her thoughts. Finally, she blurted out, "…I shouldn't have come so late." She'd meant to apologize for not looking after him like Anna asked, but the words wouldn't come. The inability to express herself made her feel utterly useless.

"It's no big deal," Lin Wei reassured her, noticing the faint blush on her downcast face. "It seems like you have a lot on your mind."

He was right. Seeing the girl he'd rescued standing in his apartment at Schicksal HQ was more than he could have ever imagined.

"Yes," Yuno admitted, a flicker of warmth followed by a wave of self-consciousness. "Sorry, it's been a long time since I've… talked to someone like this. I'm a little rusty."

Lin Wei sighed. "I think I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"Why?" Yuno looked up, confused.

"I left you with Schicksal's Far East branch. They have a special school there, good teachers, other students… some from Chiba Academy, like you. I thought you'd have a good life there, make some friends. I never expected you'd end up at HQ."

He studied her anxious expression. "It seems like you haven't been having the easiest time…" He was surprised by the surge of protective anger he felt, like a parent whose child had been wronged, even though they were practically strangers.

"No, it's fine," Yuno shook her head. "The Captain and Vice-Captain… they're nice to me."

So everyone else isn't? Lin Wei thought. And those two are always busy. How much attention can they really give her?

Silence hung heavy in the air. Lin Wei got up and replaced Yuno's water with a hot cup. She murmured a quiet "thank you," cradling the warm mug in her hands. The heat radiating through the ceramic was strangely comforting.

"Did Rita ask you to come here?" he asked, though he already knew the answer. He doubted anyone could approach him without Rita's approval.

"Yes," Yuno nodded, another wave of discomfort washing over her.

The exchange with Rita hadn't been pleasant. She'd resisted leaving Otto's presence, only relenting after Lin Wei's insistence. She'd nearly clashed with Rita, her emotions spiraling out of control. Durandal would have simply restrained her.

Rita, lacking that strength, resorted to persuasion, arguing that a conflict would only make things worse for everyone involved. She promised Yuno could see him as soon as things calmed down.

Yuno hadn't thought much of her outburst at the time. She'd grown accustomed to forcing her way. But now, recounting the events to Lin Wei, she was ashamed.

She realized how inconsiderate she'd been, both to Rita and now to Lin Wei, barging into his apartment at night. The old Yuno would never have behaved this way. What had she become? Had she become reliant on power, or was it something else entirely? Lost in thought, her breathing grew heavy.

Lin Wei, noticing her distress, made a small noise to draw her attention.

"Ah, sorry!" Yuno snapped back to reality. "I… spaced out."

"Spaced out?" Lin Wei looked at her with a mixture of concern and understanding. "Your power… it's still unstable, isn't it?" It wasn't hard to guess. If Otto wasn't actively helping her, no one else at Schicksal could.

"You… knew?!" Yuno's eyes widened in alarm. She'd been trying so hard to control her emotions, to hide the monstrous power within, like a shameful scar. Lin Wei had seen right through her façade, exposing her deepest insecurity.

"Of course," he said calmly. He leaned forward slightly, then stopped when she flinched away. "I pulled you out of that mess. I saw the… plant… thing. I know a little about what you're going through."

"Then why did you save me?" Tears streamed down Yuno's face. Overwhelmed, she cried out, "Why didn't you just… let me die?! Wouldn't that have been better?!"

Yae Sakura tensed, but Lin Wei gestured for her to stay back. He calmly asked, "You were alive. Why wouldn't I save you?"

"Boom!" Tendrils erupted from Yuno's body, tearing through the room, yet carefully avoiding the small space where Lin Wei sat.

"Is this… even living?" she whispered, finally voicing the question that had haunted her for so long. She didn't know who to ask, lost in a haze of self-destructive impulses and a flicker of hope she couldn't name.

Now she understood her desperation to see him, her reluctance to speak, even her resentment. She needed him to answer this question, to give meaning to her fragmented existence. Only he could.

Yep, definitely here to pay off some karmic debt, Lin Wei thought wryly.

"Of course, it's living. Am I talking to a ghost?" He reached for a nearby blanket, but Yuno's tendrils snatched it away before he could touch it.

He gave up. "If you mean you feel like a monster… ashamed, isolated… I know someone who loses all semblance of humanity when he unleashes his power. He's far more monstrous than you, like some world-devouring beast. But he's still… him. Not a monster, but a hero fighting for humanity."

"Maybe I can introduce you sometime. He's… about your age, I think?" He trailed off, unsure. Ignoring the whole "50,000 years old" thing, Kosma's basically a teenager.

Yuno stared at him, unconvinced. Nice try. Think you can trick me with a made-up story?

Lin Wei frowned, his tone sharpening. "You survived a catastrophe. You're breathing, talking, even throwing a tantrum in my apartment! If this isn't living, then what about all the people who died in the Honkai, who didn't even leave a body behind? Do you know how many people would envy you right now? You can at least think about the meaning of life. They don't even have that chance!"

Yuno was speechless, not from his words, but from his tone. He sounded exactly like her parents scolding her. The unexpected nostalgia caught her off guard.

Have I been… selfish? she wondered.

"I don't know… I just know these things are like a nightmare, clinging to me, day after day. I wake up and see this disgusting reflection, this… thing… I want to tear to shreds!"

She retracted her tendrils, her voice a mixture of despair and fury.

"But I can't. And I don't know what to do… Captain Durandal tells me to control it, but I can't! All I know is it destroyed my home, everything I had! It's consuming me, turning me into… that monster…"

Her words tumbled out faster and faster.

"It wants to kill me, and I want to kill it! Rip it apart, piece by piece! So I fight. Constantly! I get hurt, I feel pain… but it doesn't matter! It's part of me, so when I hurt, it hurts! And when it hurts, I feel… good! Every fight feels like a victory, and then I can finally sleep…"

She started laughing, a hysterical, desperate sound.

"See? I'm just a self-destructive lunatic! A monster everyone at Schicksal avoids!"

The laughter dissolved into sobs. "Mr. Lin… why didn't you just let me die in Nagazora City? Why bring me back? Why put that voice in my head? Why make me exist like this, a monster… constantly suffering?"

Lin Wei remained silent, letting her vent.

Finally, he asked softly, "Yuno, if you truly blamed me, hated me for interfering, why didn't you hurt me just now?"

He gestured to himself, then to the floor around her. "You tore up everything around you, but I'm still sitting here, perfectly fine. This is the only undamaged part of the room."

"I…" Yuno stammered, at a loss for words.

"The answer's pretty clear, isn't it?" Lin Wei smiled gently, pointing at her clenched hands. "Stop holding onto it. Drink your water before it gets cold."