CHAPTER 33: FRUSTRATIONS

The late afternoon sun filtered through the large windows of the campus library, casting golden streaks across the wooden study tables. Alison sat with her arms crossed, staring blankly at the open textbook in front of her. Micha, seated across from her, glanced up from her notes and raised an eyebrow. 

"Alright, Alison," Micha said, setting her pen down. "What's up? You've been huffing and sighing for the last twenty minutes. Spill it."

Alison hesitated, her fingers nervously tapping the edge of her notebook. Finally, she let out an exasperated groan and leaned back in her chair. 

"It's James," she admitted, her voice laced with frustration.

Micha tilted her head, intrigued. "What about him? Did he screw up another group project or something?"

Alison shook her head, her expression darkening. "No. It's this whole thing he's doing with that weird girl, Emmie."

Micha's brow furrowed. "What do you mean? You mean the plan to mess with her? Zade's idea, right?"

"Exactly," Alison snapped, her tone sharp. "Zade's idea, but James is going along with it like it's just some harmless joke. It's ridiculous. And it's…" She trailed off, biting her lip.

"It's what?" Micha prompted, leaning forward. 

Alison hesitated again, then sighed, her shoulders slumping. "It's infuriating, Micha. Watching him give all this attention to someone like her, someone who doesn't even belong in our circle. And meanwhile, he doesn't even notice…" She stopped, her cheeks flushing.

Micha's eyes widened slightly. "He doesn't even notice what?"

Alison looked down at her hands, her voice dropping to a near whisper. "Me. He doesn't notice me. Not the way I want him to."

Micha blinked, her surprise evident. "Wait, are you saying…?"

"Yes," Alison cut in, her tone bitter. "I'm in love with James. Have been for years. And it kills me to see him wasting his time on someone like Emmie when he could have someone who actually cares about him."

Micha leaned back in her chair, processing the confession. "Wow. I didn't realize…"

"Yeah, well, now you do," Alison muttered, crossing her arms again. "And before you say anything, I know it's stupid. He's never going to look at me that way. I'm just one of his friends, someone he jokes around with and nothing more. But seeing him with Emmie? It's like a slap in the face."

Micha sighed, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. Her tone turned matter-of-fact. "Look, Alison, I get it. But you've got to get a grip. These feelings? They'll pass. Trust me. You're better off not getting hung up on someone who clearly doesn't see what's right in front of him."

Alison frowned, her frustration reigniting. "That's easy for you to say. You're not the one who has to watch him waste his time."

"True," Micha admitted with a shrug. "But honestly, you're only making it harder for yourself by focusing on it. Just give it time. Feelings die, Alison. They always do."

Alison stared at her friend, the blunt words landing heavier than she expected. She wanted to argue, to tell Micha she was wrong, but deep down, she wasn't sure she believed that herself. Instead, she sighed, crossing her arms tighter as she looked away.

"Maybe," she muttered. "But it doesn't make it hurt any less."

Micha offered a small, tight-lipped smile, her attempt at consolation feeling almost clinical. Outside, the sun dipped lower, casting long shadows across the library floor. For Alison, the shadows mirrored the tangle of emotions she couldn't seem to escape—longing, anger, and the faint, flickering hope that maybe, just maybe, things could change.

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It was half past three o'clock and the library was quieter than usual, the hum of whispered conversations barely audible. Micha flipped a page in her notebook, her pen moving in steady strokes as she took notes. Across the table, Alison still sat, her gaze distant and her jaw set with determination. Micha had tried her best to steer the conversation back to their upcoming project, but Alison's mind was clearly elsewhere. 

"Alison, did you hear a word I just said?" Micha finally asked, setting her pen down and raising an eyebrow. 

Alison blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. "What? Yeah, I heard you."

Micha sighed, leaning back in her chair. "Look, I'm going to say this one last time. You're wasting your energy on James. He's not worth it, and this obsession… it's not healthy. Just let it go, okay?"

But Micha could tell her words were falling on deaf ears. Alison's expression didn't soften, and her eyes held a determined glint that Micha didn't like. 

"I'm not obsessed," Alison said defensively, her voice clipped. "I just… I know what I want. And I'm not going to let someone like Emmie get in the way of that."

Micha's brow furrowed, concern flashing across her face. "Alison, you're talking like this is some kind of competition. James isn't a prize to be won."

"Maybe not to you," Alison shot back, her voice growing colder. "But I've known him for years, since high school. I've been there for him, supported him, and if he can't see that because he's distracted by some pathetic girl who doesn't even belong in our circle, then maybe he just needs a little… reminder."

Micha's stomach churned. She'd never seen Alison like this before. Sure, she'd known her friend harbored feelings for James, but this? This was something else entirely. 

"Alison," Micha said slowly, choosing her words carefully. "I'm serious. Don't let this get out of hand. You're better than this."

Alison offered a tight-lipped smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Don't worry, Micha. I know what I'm doing."

But Micha wasn't reassured. She could feel the tension radiating off Alison, the simmering anger beneath her seemingly calm exterior. As Alison packed up her things and left the library without another word, Micha couldn't shake the nagging feeling that this wasn't the end of it. 

Alison, meanwhile, walked briskly across campus, her mind racing. Micha didn't understand. No one did. James wasn't just some fleeting crush; he was everything Alison wanted, everything she deserved. And if she had to fight for him, then so be it. 

She thought of Emmie, the quiet, awkward girl who had somehow wormed her way into James's life. It was laughable, really. Emmie didn't stand a chance. Alison would make sure of that. She'd waited too long and put up with too much to let someone like her get in the way. 

As the evening sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the campus, Alison's determination solidified into something sharper, something darker. Micha had tried to warn her, but Alison wasn't listening. Her love for James was no longer just a feeling; it was a mission. And she wouldn't stop until she had what she wanted, no matter the cost.