Chapter 1: The price of regret

The wind howled across the barren plains as the remnants of a great battle lay scattered across the earth. Broken weapons and shattered shields littered the ground—a grim testament to the chaos that had consumed everything. Amidst the wreckage, I lay dying, blood pooling around me. My breaths were shallow, my body growing weaker with every passing moment.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice raspy, barely able to push the words through the pain. The agony in my chest felt endless, but it wasn't the physical pain that gnawed at me. No, it was the weight of regret—the crushing realization of everything I had lost.

I turned my eyes toward the figure standing above me—my best friend, my brother-in-arms, Lorian Sunbane, the Hero of Gaia. The man had it all. Good looks, strength, magic, and, most importantly

...

…

Hot babes. All the hot babes...

A harem of hot babes who worshipped him like a god.

Yeah, I'll admit it—there was more than a little jealousy in my heart. Maybe a lot. Definitely a lot.

"I didn't want this… I never wanted to hurt you," he said quietly, his voice thick with sorrow. His eyes brimmed with pain, but there was no anger in them—only grief.

I managed a weak laugh, the kind that sounds more like a dying wheeze. "Yeah, sure. And I didn't want to betray you, either. But hey, I guess life's full of surprises." A part of me wanted to scream at him, to tell him how badly he'd let me down. But the part of me that had known him for years, fought beside him, trusted him—he was still there. Buried under layers of resentment, but he was still there. Damn it.

He dropped to his knees beside me, his face etched with anguish. "You didn't have to," he said, his voice cracking. "I… I thought we were friends. I thought we could face this world together, side by side."

I looked at him, my eyes burning with the weight of my actions. "Yeah, I thought so too," I muttered, watching the blood spread beneath me like a bad painting. The image of the girl I desired suddenly flashed in my mind "But then I saw her—Amelia. You know, the girl who was basically drooling over you every time you flexed your sword arm. And I—" I cut myself off, my bitterness bubbling over. "I wanted to be better. I thought if I could just get more powerful, I could be someone worthy of her, someone worthy of you." I didn't say it, but I was already blaming her in my head. Was it her fault? Maybe. But probably not. It didn't matter now. 

Then again...

Yeah...

I'm going to blame her.

His eyes softened. "I never wanted to take anything from you. She… she might have chosen me, but that doesn't mean I didn't care about you. You've always been important to me."

Important? To the protagonist of this godforsaken story? I was just a side character, a filler in his grand narrative. But there I was, on the brink of death, feeling more alive than I had in years. Tears welled up in my eyes—not from the pain, but from the sheer stupidity of it all. And maybe a little from the pain itself. Now that I could really feel it, it hurt. A lot.

I chuckled and glanced down at the wound again. "You couldn't have gone easy on me?" I asked, my voice hoarse but serious.

Lorian snickered, a sound that almost made me laugh, even in my state. "You really are something else."

He gently placed a hand on my shoulder, his voice barely more than a whisper. "It's not too late for you… not yet. I never wanted this, but you were my friend. I never wanted to lose you." His eyes pleaded with me, filled with hope for my grand return. But there was no hope, no grand return—just the cold, slow embrace of death.

They say that when you're on your deathbed, your life flashes before your eyes. I used to think that was just poetic nonsense, but it turns out they were right. It wasn't just my life on Earth that flashed before me, but my life on Gaia too.

A final, soft sigh escaped my lips as my vision blurred and the world around me began to fade. I reached a trembling hand up, as if trying to touch him one last time. He leaned closer, eager to hear the final words of his friend's dying breath.

"F*ck… you…"

I grunted and tried to focus on the present, but the future was creeping in like a fog. I was dead. There was no fixing that. At least, that was what I thought. Then I felt it—the cold fingers of oblivion wrapping around me, pulling me under.

I thought I heard Lorian say something else, something desperate, but the darkness closed in. The pain, the regret, and the anger all melted away. And then, nothing...

...

...

I woke up.

That's not how it was supposed to happen, right? I mean, I was supposed to be dead. Gone. Forgotten. But no, there I was, lying on a cold street, blinking up at the sky as though I hadn't just been stabbed in the gut and betrayed by my best friend.

"What the hell?" I mumbled to myself, rubbing my eyes like I'd just woken from a nap. "Am I still bleeding? Did I really just get sent to hell, or is this some sick joke?"

The sun was warm on my face—way too warm for the afterlife, if you ask me. I sat up and took in my surroundings. I recognized this place immediately. It was Bridgeville, the town I had called home once.

"I swear to the gods, if I'm stuck in some kind of sick time loop, I'm going to lose my mind," I muttered, standing up and brushing myself off. The weight of the situation settled in, and I realized one thing: I was alive again. Alive. As in, not dead. Back to where it all begun.

I glanced around the familiar streets, my stomach tight. The last time I was here, I had been a little too busy trying to avoid a group of jerks who liked to pick on me. Now, I was trying to avoid the crushing weight of my own stupidity.

"There's no way I'm going through all that sh*t again!" My fists clenched, trembling as the weight of my past bore down on me.

But even as the words left my lips, something shifted. A deep, bone-deep knowing settled within me. The path that had led me to ruin—it had reset.

I could feel it in every fiber of my being. The memories of my downfall, the sting of betrayal, and the gnawing ache of regret lingered, vivid and unrelenting. Yet now, they felt… distant. Faded, like echoes of a life that no longer belonged to me.

This wasn't hell. It was a second chance.

I looked down at my hand and clenched it into a fist.

"Alright," I murmured to myself, my voice soft but filled with resolve. "This time, I'm going to make things right."

For the first time in what felt like forever, I smiled—not a bitter smile, but one full of hope. The path ahead wouldn't be easy, but now I knew what I had to do. I would not let jealousy control me again. I would no longer let fear or pride make my choices.

"This time," I whispered again, to no one but myself, "I will live for myself."

As I walked forward, the quiet promise hung in the air—a new beginning, where regret would be a lesson, not a chain holding me back.

I would find my own way. And no one—least of all Lorian Sunbane, my former best friend, the hero of the world, and protagonist of this shitty story—would decide my fate.

It had all begun again, but I will take a different path. A path to redemption. I may not be the protagonist, but I refuse to die a dog's death. And it matters not if I end up as the villain once again; I'll just make sure I win this time.