Sacrifice

The sun was almost rising when Jacques returned to the dorm, sneaking in through the window and climbing up the dormitory wall. He noticed that Charles had stayed awake all night, waiting for his return. He was sitting on his bunk, books open but unread.

Jacques noticed that this wasn't Charles's usual behavior. Normally, Charles didn't care when Jacques came back, but this time, it was different. He sat there, watching Jacques's every move with serious eyes.

"You okay?" Jacques asked lightly.

Charles exhaled, repeating the question in his mind as if it were the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. "'You okay?', he asked!" he among his breath, stunned by Jacques's casual tone. "Wow…"

He wasn't okay. Jacques sat near the desk. He felt incredibly tired, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep if Charles was mad like this. He would make noises and keep Jacques awake, so Jacques figured he'd better charm this blonde twink before he passed out.

"Alright, what's going on?" Jacques asked, trying to keep his cool.

"Instructor David knows..." Charles began.

"Yeah, so?" Jacques asked, as if it were the dumbest question.

"'Yeah? So?'" Charles repeated mockingly, his voice rising. His fists clenched at his sides. "Do you even hear yourself?"

Jacques frowned, sensing the storm brewing in Charles' tone. "Look, just get to the point. I'm tired."

Charles took a deep breath, as if steadying himself, before blurting out, "Where do you go every night, Jacques ? What are you doing?"

A small, tired grin crept onto Jacques's face. "Remember that guy I told you about? The one from the space station? He's been teaching me how to fly a trooper pod."

Charles stared, incredulous. He'd been having fun every night, doing illegal things—flying a trooper pod at the age of 15!

"We'll be flying out there sooner than we thought. I'm getting my flying license after we graduate, no need to attend flying school and waste time. We don't even need a graduation certificate from this place," Jacques grinned happily.

"Flying? Is that all you care about?" Charles stood up from his bunk and clenched his fists.

"Charles, we promised to live together, cruising the sky among the stars. I'm working on that dream!" Jacques stood up as well, trying to calm Charles down. From the look in his eyes, Charles was really mad, and since he'd been up all night, his red eyes made him seem even scarier.

"Who wants to cruise the sky among the stars with you?! Fucking childish dream!" Charles threw his books at Jacques , who defended himself by catching them.

"Yo, why are you so mad? I thought we agreed on this!" Jacques exclaimed as he put down the book on the table behind him.

"I never agreed to that stupid dream!" Charles shouted, landing a hard punch on Jacques's face. "My father died for a sin he didn't commit! The law failed him, and all I'm supposed to do for my future is fly with you without direction?! What do you think I am?!"

"Your... father died?!" Jacques's eyes widened.

The fact that Jacques knew nothing about Charles's pain felt like a real betrayal to him. Charles lunged toward Jacques and punched his shoulders.

"You're a really ignorant bastard! Not only are you dragging me down with your ignorance, but you don't even care about what I've been through!!" Since punching Jacques seemed to have no effect, Charles dug his claws into Jacques's arms as if he wanted to rip the muscles off his bones.

"Ouch, hey! Calm down! Are you nuts?!" Jacques stepped back, trying to avoid Charles, who wouldn't let him go and kept assaulting him.

When Jacques tripped and fell to the floor, Charles topped him and grabbed his collar. "Listen up, you ignorant bastard! Instructor David came to check on you last night, and he knows what you've been doing, and how unfair it is to me. If you don't change, he'll find a replacement—a better pair for me!"

"What?! He can't replace me! I'm not allowing him!" Jacques sounded serious now.

"Then you need to fucking change! Study! Respect the schedule, discipline! Change! If you want to be with me, you better change!" Without waiting for any more of Jacques's reaction, Charles stepped back. He gathered his books from the floor and put them in his rucksack.

"Charles, you can't be serious about replacing me?"

Charles, finished packing, swung his rucksack onto his back. "I have to do what I must. Grow up, Jacques! Life isn't a fantasy world where you can live as you dream! This is reality! If I mean anything to you... change!!"

Without waiting for Jacques's response, Charles walked past him, bumping his shoulder to emphasize his seriousness.

Charles sat in the lecture hall, massaging his dizzy head from sleepiness. He quietly took some coffee candy to keep himself awake. He also set his phone recorder ready in case he fell asleep and couldn't focus on his studies, having been up all night, doing nothing but staring out the window, imagining every scenario of what he would do when Jacques came back.

He doesn't know that my father died! Instructor David was right—Jacques doesn't care about him at all.

The memory of Jacques's carefree grin made his chest tighten.

How dare he!

He buried his face in his arms, tears slipping out despite his efforts to hold them back. He tried hard not to make anyone notice he was crying, so he buried his face under his arms on the table.

It's a tough choice for Charles right now: Jacques or his promise to his father. But the fact that Jacques doesn't care at all about what happened to his father already gives a clear answer about who is not worthy to be kept.

Then, a surge of emotions rushed in, forcing his tears to fall.

What made him emotional was because he loved Jacques . He was in love. But the boy he loved only cared about his own ambition, and that ambition was dragging him down, away from his goals.

Suddenly, a weight of presence sat next to him. Charles recognized the scent—it was the smell of dried grass mixed with morning haze and sweat. But this time, it didn't smell like three days' worth of sweat; it was the scent of proper soap and deodorant.

Charles raised his face and saw Jacques , also looking tired, sitting next to him. He usually skipped class to sleep because he'd been up all night. But now, he was here, sitting next to him, genuinely apologizing.

Jacques put his hand on Charles's hand.

"Please tell them not to replace me. I don't want to give you up to someone else," Jacques whispered.

Before Charles could react, the instructor entered the class. Jacques seemed to focus on the lesson today, despite being sleepy. His head keeps slipping off his hand, but he try so hard to stay awake. Charles shared a couple of coffee candy tablets with him to help keep him awake.

Jacques felt happy to see Charles smile back at him.