Lost Memories: The Full Time Actor

Tonight's performance was no ordinary spectacle—it was the highly anticipated premiere of The Ballad of Helena, a tragic love story of a woman yearning for her husband's return from war, uncertain whether he is dead or alive.

The grand crimson curtain rose, revealing a lone figure bathed in a dim blue spotlight. Etienne Bellamy stood at the center of the stage, clad in a flowing gown of white silk, its delicate embroidery catching the light. A hush fell over the crowd as he lifted his face—high cheekbones, full lips, eyes brimming with distant sorrow. His beauty was undeniable yet perplexing. Was he a woman? A man? Or something beyond such simple definitions?

But before the audience could drown in their confusion, Etienne moved.

With each step, each delicate tilt of his head, he became Helena—the longing wife, the devoted lover, the woman who had counted every day since her husband's departure.

"Moonlight fades upon the shore,

Winds whisper your name once more…

Footsteps echo down the empty halls,

But still, I wait—I wait for you…"

His slender frame carried the weight of the role effortlessly, his fingers trailing over an empty chair as if feeling the ghost of her beloved's presence.

"Through the fire, through the rain,

Through the nights of endless pain…

My heart remains, unshaken, true,

No one else but you…"

They said a song is the soul of emotion, and his singing sent shivers down the spines of all who listened. His voice, a flawless countertenor, blended seamlessly with the orchestral strings. Was it a male voice? A female voice? The audience could not decide. But it was too exquisite to question—it simply was.

And that very confusion was what made Etienne's performances sell out. He captivated both men and women alike, adored for his beauty and cherished like a rare gem.

"So take my love upon the sky,

Let it reach where warriors fly…

I will stand, I will pray,

Till the dawn of your embrace…

Come back to me… Oh, love, return to me…"

He was art itself.

***

The performance was a great success, just like the previous performances. Etienne celebrates with his co-workers with cans of soda. The cast and crew gathered in their dressing room, still half-dressed in costumes, clutching cans of soda like trophies of war. 

"To the future of Elysium!" they cheered, their soda cans clanking together.

"And to Etienne," the lead violinist added with a smirk, "apparently, tormenting the styling team to the brink of tears was really worth it!"

Everyone immediately recalled the first day of the show—Etienne had been painfully nitpicky about his appearance. The stylist, overwhelmed and frustrated, had stormed out of the dressing room in tears, seeking refuge in the park outside.

Etienne, of course, had gone after her, completely unaware that he had been that difficult. His genuine apology had made all the difference, though. Moved by his sincerity, she had decided to try even harder to meet his high expectations.

And in the end, it turned out he was right—he knew exactly what he was doing. After all, a true professional could apply his own makeup flawlessly if necessary.

"Oh, come now, babe," Etienne interjected, rolling his eyes with an exaggerated flourish. "Conflict makes friendship sail! I mean, you did marry your best enemy, didn't you?"

"Good point," the lead violinist admitted with a dramatic sigh, narrowing his eyes as if contemplating his own life choices. Even now, he still wasn't sure why he had married the most infuriating woman he'd ever met. Their first encounter had been nothing short of a battlefield, with her storming into his yard to complain about his "obnoxiously screeching" violin practice.

And now? Now, they shared a mortgage and a golden retriever, expecting their 2nd baby. Life was strange like that.

"And yet," Skylar, the other actor, cut in, crossing his arms with a smirk, "he still managed to pull off a great performance—even when his dress was half-dragging behind him like some tragic, overgrown tail."

Laughter erupted around the room. Everyone instantly knew what he was referring to—the infamous third-night performance when Etienne's dress hadn't been secured properly. Instead of flowing elegantly, the fabric trailed awkwardly behind him, making it look like he'd sprouted a tail mid-dance.

Etienne had noticed, of course. He had expected the director to call for an immediate stop, to demand a quick fix. But to his horror, nothing happened. The show carried on, the orchestra played, and he had no choice but to keep performing, dragging his "tail" across the stage like it was all part of some avant-garde artistic choice.

"At least it wasn't the forgotten beard," Etienne quipped, sipping his soda while casting a flirty glance at Skylar. He was, of course, reminding him of the time Skylar had to remove his beard because the glue didn't sit right—and how it had fallen off mid-show, right onto the stage. That one had the audience laughing.

Skylar snorted. "Oh, trust me, babe. It was the best."

More laughter. More teasing. But beneath it all, there was something else—fondness. Exhausted but happy, they bantered into the night, knowing that no matter how much stress Etienne put them through, the moment the curtains rose and he stepped into that perfect light, it was all worth it.

***

Off the stage, Etienne put on his coat, pulled his cap low, and drove home alone—well, almost. He cranked up a rock song, singing along with its upbeat rhythm as the city lights blurred past.

Marco Blaire, his co-actor who also played female roles, rode along with him. He had gotten into a fight with his boyfriend and wasn't in the mood to go home tonight. Instead, he would take refuge at Etienne's apartment.

"I'm sorry for this, Etienne, and thank you for always have my back," Marco massage his forehead. His phone keeps beeping but he put it on silent.

"As long as your boyfriend doesn't turn this into some dramatic street performance, I'd say we're good," Etienne said, smirking as he lazily side-eyed Marco.

"No promises," Marco sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. "He's the type. He loses his mind every time I get a female role—especially when Skylar is the love interest."

"If he throws another tantrum, I'll recommend him to my friend who directs WWE shows," Etienne smirked. "The way he broke my door last time? Truly inspired. He just needs to channel that rage in the right place."

Marco's boyfriend had been impossible ever since he started playing female leads, and it only got worse with Skylar in the mix. Skylar played Helena's husband, and the romantic scenes were intense.

When Marco refused to quit his childhood dream over some insecure outbursts, things escalated. His boyfriend demanded he drop the role. Marco refused. The fights got uglier.

And that's how Etienne ended up landing the main lead—while Marco was demoted to substitute.

"Great idea, girl! He might finally contribute to the bills and food," Marco chuckled. This was why he loved Etienne—he always downplayed the intensity and eased his headaches.

Before their conversation could continue, the music was interrupted by an incoming call. The name Daddy G flashed on the screen.

"Ooh! My boyfriend calls," Etienne announced, glancing at Marco with a playful warning. "Remember, Marco, no matter how weird this gets, you are a ghost. You do not exist. Stay invisible."

"Prompt applied! Go ahead, girl," Marco waved him off, already pulling out his phone to scroll through his social media.

Etienne accepted the call and put it on speaker.

"Hi, daddyyy..." Etienne cooed, stuffing as much fake enthusiasm into his voice as possible. Then he pulled a ridiculous clownish expression at Marco, who quickly covered his face to stifle his laughter.

"Finally, your performance weeks is over," came the deep, commanding voice on the other end. Low, heavy, manly—calm and collected. The textbook alpha male.

"Yeah, finally!" Etienne chirped, putting on his best cute and excited act. Daddy G loved it that way, and honestly? Etienne didn't mind another performance—it paid, after all!

"So, I guess we finally have time together, huh?"

Etienne let out a dramatic "Oops!" as if he were truly remorseful. "Oh no, Daddy!! I'm so sorry...!! The performance weeks was brutal—I almost got sick! So, you know, I've been eating plenty lately... and, um, I just had spicy food... We both know you don't deserve an accident..."

"Then tomorrow," Daddy G stated firmly, as if the deal had already been signed.

Etienne groaned internally, to be honest, he just want some "me time" for a few days. "How about the day after tomorrow?" 

"Can't, babe. Do you remember what day it is tomorrow?"

"Monday?" Etienne playing dumb. It was, of course, an act—he knew the question meant something important to his boyfriend, but he just didn't care.

"Tomorrow is my father's 80th birthday!" Daddy G's voice sharpened with irritation. "How could you forget?!"

"I'm sorry, babe. People make mistakes," Etienne cooed, his tone the same one you'd use for a puppy that just lost a fight with the neighborhood cat.

"That's why tomorrow, no bargaining. I'll pick you up. Wear your best dress, 'cause we'll be attending the party."

"Yes, babe!" Etienne forced the enthusiasm before hanging up immediately, bring back his favorite jam blasted into the car cabin.

Marco, who had been quietly listening, snorted. "I'll rate the fan service a solid 6 out of 10. Any fool could tell you're just pretending to be a boyfriend." 

"6 out of 10? Damn, that's generous! I'd give it a 3 out of 10!" Etienne grinned.

"You're definitely not into him. So why did you even accept him as your boyfriend?" Marco smirked.

"Babe, I didn't accept him—I was under gunpoint!" Etienne said bluntly. Daddy G was a ruthless businessman with powerful connections, and defying him meant inviting serious trouble. "Besides, the man's got a wife at home and still pays me a monthly subscription for exclusive premium content—how could I say no? Canceling the service might come with… severe penalties."

Marco's mouth fell open in mock offense. "GIRL!! That's harassment!"

"Oh, babe, it was love at first threat." Etienne laughs it off.

The only reason his name was saved as "Daddy G" instead of "Stubborn Germs That Need to Get Out of My Life A.S.A.P." was because that man constantly checked Etienne's phone to make sure he wasn't acting up against him.

Marco's mouth fell open in outrage. "BABE. That is not a relationship, that is a hostage situation! You need a SWAT team, not a damn dress for his daddy's birthday party!"

Etienne just smiled, easy and unbothered. "Babe, relax. They've got top-shelf champagne, and, hey, I get to expand my catalog of handsome men. Win-win."

Marco shook his head, thoroughly amused. "Damn. I wish I had even half of your positive attitude, girl. But not how you view love. Me? I couldn't stand being in a relationship with someone I'm not actually into just for money, status, or whatever, sorry to say, but to me it's just not worth it." 

"Babe," Etienne sighed dramatically, placing a hand over his heart. "Love is just a game. Play it right, and it's all fun—no headaches, no heartbreaks, just vibes."

"It's not just a game, Etienne. I mean, have you ever looked into someone's eyes and felt like the whole universe was there?" Marco says with dreamy eyes. 

"When I look into someone's eyes, all I see are dilated pupils," he replies with a smile.

"Have you ever kissed someone on the lips and felt like your heart was about to burst?" Marco adds. He sounds like the character he plays on stage—someone in love, reciting poetry to someone who obviously cannot hear it.

"When I kiss someone, I can tell what they had for dinner," Etienne shrugs.

"Have you ever.... Walk a thousand miles to the hell and back just to see the human you love and regret nothing even though you get out as coal?" Marco sighs, he was clearly in love.

"Hmm.... I must be in love with Dissin Menance," Etienne nods when he recalls his teenage life skipping school just to attend a rock band concert in another city.

"Girl, so heartless! Poor you and your frigid heart," Marco teases.