Holy System Of Heroic Ascension

"Not now," I muttered under my breath.

"ALWAYS NOW, YOUNG HERO! A TRUE WARRIOR NEVER COWERS FROM THE TRUTH!"

Sia frowned. "Who are you talking to?"

"Uh—"

"IT IS I! THE GREAT, NOBLE, AND UNPARALLELED—"

I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. "Alright, you know what? System, just introduce yourself telepathically before you give me a headache."

There was a dramatic pause.

And then—

"Very well, mortal."

Father and Sia both stiffened. Their eyes widened as the system's voice rang through their heads, filled with an overwhelming sense of self-importance. 

Because the next thing the system said, with the kind of pride that could only belong to something entirely self-obsessed, was:

"HELLO, MORTALS."

Oh, how I wanted to die-

The room fell into stunned silence.

Sia's eye twitched. Father just… sighed.