74: A Date?

[Haibara Ai]:

Stop beating around the bush!

Can't you see how worried the Master is?! Idiot dog!

[Random Passerby Who Wants to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: I'm not stalling!

I just… don't remember everything clearly.

It's been years since I watched it…

Let me think…

[Zhang Sanfeng]:

No rush, no rush.

Take your time, little friend.

Whenever you recall something,

this old Taoist will listen.

[Random Passerby Who Wants to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: First off, your disciple isn't dead.

He's on an island, married,

and has a son named Zhang Wuji.

[Haibara Ai]: …You even remember his kid's name?

Ugh, whatever. Just keep going!

[Zhang Sanfeng]: Knowing that Cuishan is alive and well, this old Taoist is relieved.

Do you recall where this island is?

[Random Passerby Who Wants to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Uh…

I think it's called Ice and Fire Island,

but don't worry, Master Zhang—

when your birthday comes,

Zhang Cuishan will return with his family.

[Kobayashi]: Huh?

Isn't that a good thing?

Grandpa's long-lost disciple coming back just in time for his birthday?

[Random Passerby Who Wants to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: The problem is…

Zhang Cuishan disappeared with Xie Xun,

a public enemy of the martial world…

[Zhang Sanfeng]: You mean Cuishan is connected to Xie Xun?

[Random Passerby Who Wants to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: It's a long story.

Let me just upload the plot instead.

[Random Passerby Who Wants to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh uploaded: Heavenly Sword & Dragon Saber (Incomplete)]

The Dimensional Chat Group automatically translated the content.

Even foreigners like Haibara Ai and Tony Stark could understand.

Even Esdeath, who had zero interest in dramas, could read it.

But Esdeath, who only cared about battles, didn't bother. After a few glances, she lost interest.

Instead, she turned her focus to the trade list.

After all, Kizaru had just given her over 67,000 DCs.

Enough to buy powerful weapons and arm her army.

Esdeath pampered her soldiers to an extreme degree.

She even distributed imperial rewards among her troops.

But in return, she demanded absolute loyalty.

Even if she ordered them to die,

they weren't allowed to hesitate.

"Luxury brands… cars… useless junk!"

"Dragon scales? Hmm… could be used for armor… but there are only nineteen? Too few!"

"Wait… this guy's a weapons dealer?"

"Machine guns, tanks, rocket launchers… YES!"

Sitting on her Frozen Throne,

Esdeath's chilling smile spread across her face.

She couldn't wait to see these modern weapons rain down on the barbarians of the North.

[Haibara Ai]:

So that's what Zhenren's world is like…

Wait…

Why is it incomplete?

Where's the rest?!

I want to see Zhang Wuji become the Ming Cult leader!

[Random Passerby Who Wants to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: That's all I know.

I watched it as a kid with my dad.

I'm a modern web novel & anime fan,

not a wuxia expert…

[Haibara Ai]:

Useless!

Big dumb dog!

[Zhang Sanfeng]:

So that's how it is…

Ah, this truly… pains my heart…

[Fubuki]: Zhang Cuishan felt guilty for what happened to his senior brother Yu Daiyan.

And to protect his master and sect from getting dragged in, he ultimately chose suicide…

[Kobayashi]: Fubuki-san, stop talking. The old man will be really sad.

[Zhang Sanfeng]: I lost my composure… My disciple was foolish. Forgive this old man for making a spectacle of himself…

[Kizaru]: Master Zhang, no need to be sad. Since we already know what will happen in the future, we have plenty of room to change everything.

[Zhang Sanfeng]: What you say is true. Even if I am useless, I will not fail to protect my disciples!

[Esdeath]: Hm? Are we going to war? Count me in!

[Ai Haibara]: But Zhang Cuishan's suicide wasn't just about not wanting to implicate his sect. The main reason was that he felt guilty toward his senior brother and couldn't bring himself to harm his wife, right?

[Zhang Sanfeng]: If Daiyan knew Cuishan would take things so hard, he would never have let him walk down such a path!

[Kizaru]: Hmm… But Zhang Cuishan's wife isn't exactly the root cause, right? If someone could heal Yu Daiyan, then Zhang Cuishan wouldn't need to kill himself out of guilt…

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Kizaru-sama, do you have a way?

[Kizaru]: I have some connections with the Tontatta Kingdom's king. Their princess ate the Heal-Heal Fruit, so she can heal any injury, no matter how severe.

[Kobayashi]: That's amazing! As expected of Kizaru-san!

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Kizaru-sama is awesome!

[Fubuki]: But can people outside of the Dimensional Chat Group travel to other worlds?

[Kizaru]: It's not a big problem. The Heal-Heal Fruit can produce something called "Healing Dandelions." Even full-body paralysis can be cured with just a few of them.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: And as for the martial arts Zhang Sanfeng's disciple lost, if worse comes to worst, Master Zhang, have you considered giving Yu Daiyan a Devil Fruit? It could be a good option.

[Orochimaru]: Heh… If healing doesn't work, we can always try human modification.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Uh… Orochimaru-sama, maybe hold back a little. I don't think normal people can handle such "cutting-edge" modifications…

[Ai Haibara]: Your worlds have some seriously weird abilities. Is there one that can turn me back into an adult?

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Oh! Now that you mention it, I think there actually is!

[Ai Haibara]: Don't tell me it's from your world…

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: No, it's from Kizaru-sama's world. There's a female pirate named Bonney who can turn adults into children and children into adults…

[Kizaru]: Oh, the big eater Bonney? I ran into her on Sabaody Archipelago not long ago. But if you just want to turn back into an adult, there's no need to go through all that trouble.

[Kizaru]: Zephyr-sensei's disciple, Ain, ate the Age-Age Fruit. She can alter a person's age just by touching them.

[Ai Haibara]: No side effects? So as long as she touches me, I'll return to adulthood?

[Kizaru]: There shouldn't be any.

[Ai Haibara]: Understood. I need Miss Ain's help. What's the price?

[Kizaru]: Let me think… Got it. Once you recover, go on a date with me.

[Kobayashi]: ???

[Fubuki]: ??

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: ?

[Tony Stark]: Hahaha! That's my best friend right there!

[Ai Haibara]: Deal! But the date has to be in my world. Yours is way too dangerous.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Don't let beauty blind you, Kizaru-sama! The queen of sarcasm's world is ridiculously dangerous! Even random passersby might be murderers!

[Ai Haibara]: Idiot. Do you really think an ordinary person could threaten him?

[Fubuki]: Ai-chan, calm down! Don't agree to weird conditions so easily!

Meanwhile, in the One Punch Man world, Hellish Blizzard was feeling really anxious.

Back when she first joined the chat, she and Ai Haibara used to bicker a lot. But after discovering their shared interests, they quickly became inseparable—true besties, not just some fake "plastic" friendship.

Now, watching Ai Haibara practically "sell" herself, Fubuki couldn't just stand by.

Even though Kizaru did look cool during his last livestream, no matter how good the packaging was, the guy was still a total perv!

…Wait. A perv?

Fubuki bit her lip, stood up, and walked to the full-length mirror in her room, gazing at her own elegant and curvaceous reflection.

Could it be possible that she could use a certain perv's weakness to her advantage?

[Ai Haibara]: What are you all so worried about? A date is just dinner and a movie. It's not like a high-ranking navy admiral who upholds justice would try anything against a little girl like me, right?

[Kizaru]: I hate people who force others the most. How could I possibly do something so disgraceful?

[Kobayashi]: Oh, right! I almost forgot Kizaru-san is a righteous marine…

[Ai Haibara]: @Kizaru When can I come to your world to return to normal?

[Kizaru]: It'll probably take some time. There's a major event happening soon on my end—there's a chance Marineford itself could be destroyed. You should wait until after it's over.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Whoa, whoa! Marineford War?! Kizaru-sama, don't tell me the Marineford War is about to start! Is the Navy really going to execute Ace?!

[Kizaru]: Marineford War, huh? That's a fitting name. A showdown between the strongest pirate crew and Marine Headquarters—it's definitely a war of the highest level.

[Esdeath]: Master, do you need me to join the battle?

[Tony Stark]: Whoa, I'm sure you wouldn't mind making some advanced weapon purchases before the war breaks out, right?

[Kobayashi]: That sounds terrifying. A war like this will probably take a lot of lives…

[Kizaru]: More or less. Marine HQ is deploying 100,000 elite soldiers. Based on our estimates, the Whitebeard Pirates will likely gather around 40,000 to 60,000 pirates.

[Kizaru]: Of course, that's just a cautious estimate. Realistically, the Whitebeard Pirates probably don't have that many fighters.

[Ai Haibara]: Why don't you just ask the dumb dog? Isn't he always bragging about knowing everything?

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: That's too much, you sharp-tongued woman!

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Honestly, I don't know the exact numbers either. Some experts online say the main Whitebeard crew has only a few thousand members, but with all their allied pirate groups, they should have at least tens of thousands, right?

[Ai Haibara]: That was a whole lot of pointless talking!

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Objection!

[Kizaru]: Alright, alright, no need to argue about it. No matter how many people the Whitebeard Pirates have, the Navy has the upper hand.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Heh, that's assuming you and Aokiji aren't going easy on them…

[Kobayashi]: What do you mean? Is Kizaru-san slacking off?

In the Dragon Maid world, Kobayashi scratched her head instinctively.

In her mind, even if Kizaru-san wasn't the type to be obsessed with justice, he was still unquestionably on the side of righteousness.

An organization like the Whitebeard Pirates, which sounded like the obvious villains, should be within Kizaru's jurisdiction. There's no way he'd go easy on them, right?

But Passerby-san's intel was famously accurate. Though Kobayashi thought Ai Haibara's "police dog" nickname for him was a bit mean, when she thought about it… it was actually quite fitting.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Wait! Maybe I'm wrong! The Kizaru I know and Kizaru-sama here could be totally different people. I shouldn't just assume that he's the same as the parallel universe Kizaru…

[Kobayashi]: Hm? A parallel world version of Kizaru-san? Now I'm really curious about what he's like!

[Ai Haibara]: I'd like to know too.

[Fubuki]: Yeah, I'm pretty curious…

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: You guys are really curious, huh? Alright, I'll tell you—the parallel world Kizaru is a total per—

[Kizaru]: Cough!

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: …per… perfectly dignified and awe-inspiring man! A true hero! Wise and mighty! M-Magnificently powerful! Power… powerful beyond measure! Basically, he's just ridiculously cool! So cool that weaklings like me don't stand a chance!

[Kizaru]: Oh, I see. As expected of my parallel self.

[Kobayashi]: Uh… Passerby-san, you just lost all your dignity…

[Ai Haibara]: Got it. I'll wait until after the war to come over.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Kizaru-sama, when the Marineford War starts, would you mind streaming it live?

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: This is a battle involving over 100,000 people and literal gods clashing! It'd be a shame to miss it!

[Ai Haibara]: Kizaru is a navy admiral. You expect him to be fighting powerful enemies and livestreaming at the same time?

[Kobayashi]: That does seem a bit unreasonable, Passerby-san.

[Kizaru]: It's no big deal. The Navy has an overwhelming advantage, so streaming it isn't a problem.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: That's the spirit! This battle is 800,000 vs. 600,000! The advantage is ours!

[Kobayashi]: Huh? What do you mean? Didn't Kizaru-san say it's only around 100,000 on both sides?

[Ai Haibara]: Who knows what nonsense the dumb dog is on about now.

[Passerby Wanting to Hug Luo Feng's Thigh]: Sigh, I really miss my old meme-loving group members…

Back in the One Piece world, Kizaru's mouth twitched.

Several times, he had considered giving Passerby some trouble.

But since he had been keeping the secret that he was actually a transmigrator, he could only silently keep score of this debt for later.

[Tony Stark]: @Zhang Sanfeng @Jotaro Kujo, you two are the only ones left in the chat who haven't joined the Dimensional Currency system. Care to reconsider?

°°°

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