Chapter 4. Why am I happy? (1)

These days, students don't even look at me anymore... which is nice, I guess? It's better than enduring gazes filled with hatred and disgust.

Tae-hyun was constantly glaring at me, a face desperately waiting for lunch. But another thing I've observed recently was his friend group. They all act chill around Tae-hyun but during his absence they wouldn't even bother to look at each other. It's like their friendship solely depends on Tae-hyun's presence.

Ding! ding! ding! 

The bell signaling lunch rang at 12:20 PM. Slowly, I got up from my desk, heading toward the cafeteria. Tae-hyun rose too, like he'd been waiting for this moment for eternities. 

We walked together through the hallway before ducking into an unused bathroom "Hey Ronan." he couldn't even look at the face, something must've crushed his pride.

"I'm really sorry for earlier, I didn't intend to punch you, it's just that I reacted out of anger."

"It's good."

Tae-hyun's shoulders loosened slightly "Let me be straight forward. I have a favor to ask you. It really hurts my pride to ask you this, especially after that rooftop scene. But still, please help me out." he bowed.

"It sure is not appropriate to ask a guy with a 'weird' method, right?" I smirked. 

"Please."

"Relax, I'll see what I can. Go into the details." I don't really have a grudge against him, he's a respectful guy. That's why I decided to help him.

"I'm sure you've already seen it. Our friend group... well they are, you know." he was struggling to say it so "Without your presence, they don't get along with each other." He looked at me with gaze full of admiration.

I sighed. "I'll see what I can do. However, I will need your help."

"Of course, I'll do my best!" 

Deep down, I knew he was just using me. He hated my methods, my beliefs, my ideas. Whilst knowing that, I decided to help. Because my salvation is to save others.

"On this occasion, my presence is unnecessary. Just disappear without a word, without you they won't bother to talk to each other, right? Well, how long do you think it will continue? Eventually their patience will run out and to pass time- they'll talk about their interests to each other, they'll discuss your absence. That alone should be the steppingstone for their bond. "

"You mean, I should skip school for few days?"

"Yes, or you can stop talking to them at all. But being the person you are, you can't cut them now, can you?"

"Yeah."

"This method has some risk involved but they aren't that fatal, and it only works because they are so centered around you. I'll inform you when they get together."

"Thank you very much."

As I returned to class, I felt Mrs. Ye-Jin's gaze linger on me briefly- sympathetic, almost. She seemed have grabbed a glimpse of my future actions. But before I could enter the room, someone grabbed my arm.

"Ronan," Kang Jiyeon said, her eyes narrowing. "Something feels... off. What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you really the Ronan I know? Ever since that rooftop incident you've felt different."

I formed a smirk on my face to ensure I was fine. "I'm fine, don't you worry."

What she really meant was change. Everyone changes over time, but parts of us- the core of who we are, remain the same. I, Ronan Vercetti, was always this way. Loneliness has always been a part of me, something immutable.

"You know, my perspective of you now and before our friendship is like the night and day. Although, I've never hated you, I saw everything about you differently. I thought you were an emotionless person, you seemed so nonchalant, and angry all the time. Ughhh, it is hard to describe what I used to see through words you know. What I'm saying is, you've proved me wrong. You managed to change my perspective on you. So, thank you. "

Her eyes widened before slowly returning back. A faint smile appeared on her face. "What is there to thank. I also felt the same too. Although, I've never hated you. The you I saw before and now are like the day and night." 

"Someone's approaching, gotta go." her eyes carrying ambiguous thoughts looked at me.

My understanding of her isn't complete, but one thing I can say is. We didn't change. We are one of those few who managed to get this far without going through a drastic change. The reason we seem different than before in each other's eyes is because we only saw the true version of each other.

I quietly sat down observing my classmates. There's a saying that "If I had 8 hours to cut down a massive tree, I would spend 6 hours sharpening my axe." or "If I had 8 hours to win an argument, I'd spend 6 hours listening." By observing their behaviors, I gain advantage over them, power. 

These days, everything goes so quickly. Just like that, another day has gone by."

The next day, I didn't see Tae-hyun nor the day after and the day after. The fifth day, I finally saw them talking. Although, it was just a brief moment, they had accomplished the first step. Now is just a matter of time. "You know what! I'm asking out Bo-kyung tomorrow." "Dude, you have no chance!" "If you manage to date her, even I have a chance." "Yeah, if she dates a guy like you, our chance will also increase." passively talking trash about each other... this is just how high school boys are.

Bo-kyung, a popular girl from our class, who is also friends with that Mrs. I'm just the worst Na-ri. Sometimes I think, how do boys simp over girls like them? but then I also realize that it's just how our generation is. 

However, this could be a problem. Although, the chances are slim if Bo-kyung dates Woo-jin the others would envy him, causing disorder. If only their relationships weren't these fragile...

At that moment, he thought to himself. Maybe that's why we choose many over love. We all have something we don't want to lose, that's why we lie and hide. Those who are suspect their bond shall choose money. But which one would I choose?

I zoned out without realizing I've been staring at them. "What's he looking at?" Dammit.

I need to fix this problem fast. My breathing was getting heavier and heavier. 

"May I go the bathroom?"

As soon as I entered the bathroom, I pulled out my phone to text Tae-hyun.

"They have successfully reunited. However, there is also another problem. Woo-jin is going to ask out Bo-kyung. We must prevent that from happening. Because I know Bo-kyung will not reject him. I've heard her talking about him, I've seen her staring at Woo-jin."

Seen. 

He saw it immediately. 

"I see, your method worked. But why is them dating a problem?"

"Because their friendship is fragile, the tiniest misunderstanding could tear everything down. Like a string extending beyond its limit."

"If that's true then it is indeed a problem. Let's prevent it, what do I need to do?"

liam "/ sent you messages.

a message from Kang Jiyeon at this time? is she using her phone to text me during class?

I'll open them later.

"Talk to him, find about the location he's planning to ask her. I'll handle the rest."

"Understood."

"Class dismissed. Have a nice day everyone."

I replied to Kang Jiyeon's message before I went to bed. 1 unsent message. I wonder what it was.

I put my headphones on, listening to fallin' by ZHIEND. This was one of my comfort songs, it would help me relax. But this time, why was I so anxious? I felt like tomorrow was my last help.

I struggled to sleep until I saw myself in a vast snowfield once again. The footprints from before were there, but Kim Dokja's face couldn't be seen. There was no sign of life, only I was standing there, alone. Words were floating around like fallen leaves. "path", "last". And then "esafiircc" encircling me, as if it was shielding me.

"Wake up Ronan! You're going to be late!" I heard loud voice echoing in my ears.

"Idiot! Why are you suddenly sleeping this much!" Finally, I was awoken by a good smack on my face.

"I'm up."

"Good."

I will save Woo-jin today.