18. Sad Halloween

— Clara POV —

The last lesson before halloween was a DATDA class, the third theory one to be exact. In the second DATDA lesson we learned about some small normal halloween rituals, nothing too extreme yet. We also got the optional homework of preparing and doing one, with the help of the two teachers, where my plan for the ritual to death came from. They helped plan it and will be present to stop any mishaps from happening. Welp, that is for tomorrow.

Today we learned about trolls, many speculating and talking about last halloween, as there was one in the dungeons apparently. We learned about their habits, recognizing their habitat, weaknesses and other characteristics like their smell. While it might sound like the lessons with the twins are thoroughly structured and linear, that is anything but the case. You can ask any question you might have, though they reserve the right to not answer some questions, like their mind's link. They also, especially for those weak in the mind arts, saw what knowledge they were lacking and als talked a bit about those topics. The main topic was the one they also gave homework on, as everyone having different homework doesn't work so well I learned, upon asking them why it works that way, they explained that: „While many just copy from others, they still learn a bit through that and talking about it a bit, but taking that away often results in utter disregard and lack of interest in the subject. It also helps some students to explain it a little bit to others, as the best way of learning is sometimes teaching it to others." They also went a bit off-topic there and I learned some useful pieces of information. They do that a lot I think, going off-topic, though it is a most entertaining and informative monologue, if it happens.

Todays off-topic was about the wild foodchains and its examples and exceptions, for me at least. The trigger for that one was the troll's exemption from their perceived notion of violence, as in the wild they only hunt for food, not for fun and only fight to protect their offspring and protect their territory. Apparently last years troll was forcefully starved, which led to its behaviour that night. My second skin also got a good idea for a kind of new feeling, as I already had hunger, but a real starvation luckily not yet. The same thing happened for thirst too and both combined were a real bad way to wake up to in the morning, as I found out the next day.

That meant my day started bad, like waking up at three o'clock in the night bad, but it sadly didn't get better. While the whole school was in party mood, it didn't help myself. My instinct screamed at me, that something bad or weird might happen. That promptly came true, at breakfast no less, as I tried pumpkin juice for the very first time. It was the most disgusting and revolting thing I had experienced yet. The texture felt all wrong, it tasted like shit, had no real nutritional value, as it was more sugar than pumpkin, the aftertaste was horrendous and the biggest problem? There was nothing else to drink in sight! Not even water! Like what the actual hell! I went the rest of that breakfast without drinking and eating a lot and I really mean a damn lot of pancakes. Grand total of thirty to be exact and with a tremendous amount of honey, sirup and marmalade to somehow get the aftertaste of the pumpkin juice out of my mouth, which didn't help. Whyever that was the case.

The bad feelings didn't leave me though, so I tried meditating silently in my dorm, even skipping lunch, trying to calm down, though I failed miserably at that and though it was not really a panic attack, it still felt bad to fail so miserably, again... For dinner I was kind of forced down though, as we would start our ritual prep after it and I needed all the energy I could get. At the feast I also found out, that the bad pumpkin juice in the morning was a prank from the weasly twins, which I had a faint acquaintance with, as they one time asked me how I moved that effortlessly, with nearly any presence at all. I told them the same as I told Mad-Eye: „It was kind of instinctual and a lot of practice, you can also learn your own walking style, though you shouldn't try to copy mine." I was not really sure if they took my advice, but I really hoped they did, as wrong movement has many hidden dangers as potential fallout, especially if they had the need for a personalized fighting style at any point in time.

Afterwards, together with ten percent of all pupils of hogwarts, we went to the room opposite of the DATDA room, which was heavily modified to have many ritual chambers. They weren't normal though, as they were see through from the top, where the professors would stay, so that they could monitor us if anything went wrong this night. Magic was sadly not an option, as any small amount of magic could destabilize a ritual. That is why ritual chambers exist, as they magically isolate the inside from the outside. Additionally there was also a small prep room before each of them. I promptly entered mine and started changing into a deep black ritual gown, which closely resembled a dress, though it had a skin tight suit underneath it. The skin tight part was for the simple reason, that I cannot loose any hair, skin, blood or similar while setting up the ritual, as that could be catastrophic, though overkill for such small rituals. It also covered nearly all of my head, only letting space for my mouth and nose, the eyes being protected by inbuilt glasses. Before the mouth and nose was also a mesh, so that no spit or similar things could accidentally slip out, while chanting for the ritual or breathing, but in such a way that it didn't impede my ability. Theoretically you could just wear that, plain and simple, but that also means that you are basically naked, so I made the request to have it dress like, most preferred a cloak design or nothing instead for the most mobility.

Then I took out all the needed ingredients, before packing everything else, except my staff, into a specific compartment, which had the same function as the ritual chamber, isolating it. I then cast a charm to clean the whole room of any magical residue, which was a nightmare to learn to do with my staff, though I managed in the end. After that I moved swiftly into the ritual chamber, making three fast trips in and out of the door, to get all my ingredients into it. Most of the taken steps for security were overkill, but I wanted to make them a habit in the long term, so I couldn't start too soon with them.

I first started with a simple star with seven tips with a circle around it, touching the tips. Those tips were the center of the seven smaller circles, each with a pentagram inside of it, layered over parts of the star.

At the center of the room and at every tip of the star were placed thestral hairs and at the tips of the pentagram were small simple offerings, consisting of meat, fruit and small black gemstones for each of them. At five of six intersections of the centered star also lay these othering, the last being left for me, my place to stay for the duration of the ritual, to lead it, pray to the seven gods and death itself. I wasn't allowed to move from that spot for the duration of the ritual. While I always talk about ritual, mine is really more a prayer and plea, than a real ritual, as for a real ritual you would need a way more complex array, consisting of different runes and magical languages, taking months to set up. On the five intersections of the smaller pentagrams, there were small candles, being the only light source in this room after the ritual started. This was all drawn with a special kind of ink, consisting of 42 different herbs.

I waited till 21.45 o'clock, before starting to light all other candles and extinguishing the current ones, who served as my light source till now. Then I started to carefully walk to my designated spot, getting down on my knees, before starting to chant at exactly 22 o'clock: „

To death,

your different personifications

and servants.

To

Anubis, god of funerary practices and death.

Ah Puch, god of darkness, catastrophe and death.

Hades, king of the underworld and god of death.

Ahriman, holder of death.

Thanatos, guide of the dead.

Ankou, collector of deceased souls.

The grim reapers, escort of the deceased.

To

All of you I dedicate these offerings of fruit, meat and wealth.

All of you I pray with no ulterior motive.

I ask of all of you.

To

Be prudent with all those, whose very souls and existence was given to you.

Be understanding to all those, who did wrong with the right motives.

Be merciful to all of them, even if they do not deserve it.

" Between each line there as a slight pause, a long pause between each paragraph and also a long pause afterwards, while all offerings and even the ritual itself slowly started to disintegrate from the sheer amount of mana I pushed into it. While many would argue that that is a crude way to make offerings, I had chosen this method for the simplicity.

In the last step, while waiting for the ritual to disintegrate, my bad feeling came true. Abruptly, without any indication, Hogwarts started to scream, to cry, to rage and called for help. It made such a huge commotion, that the whole castle started shaking, trembling, affecting its very foundation. My second skin dialed down to easy mode, instantly, ceasing any effect it had on me before, making itself as sparse as possible. I just kneeled there, dialing up my occlumency to my current maximum to not instantly stand up, so that the ritual can finish successfully. I strained every fiber of my being to not stand up in that very moment, to just focus on this ritual and nothing else. The next five minutes were torture for me, not because of my extraordinary senses, but because of my empathy, which let me feel everything Hogwarts was feeling at these very moments. Grief, fear, helplessness, anger, coldness, rejection, disgust and so much more, but most importantly, familial love. After these five minutes were other though, I stormed out of the ritual chamber, not even taking my wand, nearly colliding with multiple other people, who came out of their rooms, reaching the corridor, before screaming, using any means of communication I had at my disposal: „I CAN HEAR YOU HOGWARTS! TALK TO ME! LET ME HELP YOU!" Repeating it again and again, while running in a random direction, hoping to reach Hogwarts, to penetrate through the stiffing atmosphere which Hogwarts itself created. After some time, I reached the stairs, before sprinting upwards, as Hogwarts seemed to guide me, up to the second floor, guiding me through corridors and rooms I had never seen. Five minutes of constant sprinting were needed, after which I was at the end of this … chase? A lavatory for girls, rushing through the closed door, I noticed in a split second the big hole in the floor and Professor Slughorn apparently guarding it. I just ignored him, without any hesitation diving into that dark hole, Slughorn reacting way to late, as I was already sliding down this pipe.

The pipe ended in a sewer like chamber, which I rolled into, before instantly jumping up again and following the literal pull, which Hogwarts directed my way, going through a snake styled gate, entering a once beautiful huge chamber with many big pillars holding in, now destroyed, as near everything else in it. Once there I slowed down for the first time since leaving the ritual chamber, trying to be as quite as possible, as this was a literal battlefield. One huge snake, already dead though, having apparently thought agains Professor McGonagal, Flitwick and Headmaster Dumbledore, who all stood at the far end of the room, donned in full battle gear. The moment I realized that were was no danger left, I screamed, asking.

— Dumbledore POV —

Everything went well. Planning of near two months culminated in what lay before me. The killer of Myrtle lying before my feet, dead, after a short but dangerous and demanding fight. My instincts already having dialed down back to normal, before hearing a screamed question, shocking me to my core, due to the raw emotion contained in the scream: „WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" My instincts directly went back into overdrive, being the only reason I didn't send multiple deadly spells in that direction in that moment, as I realized soon enough, that it wasn't Tom Riddle, more commonly known as Voldemort, screaming at me, but a little girl, first year from her height, still wearing her full ritual gown, staff in hand, apparently having rushed down here, though I didn't know how or why she knew to come here. I also recognized her through the staff: „What are you doing here Clara?" I wanted to ask, but was interrupted mid sentence with another scream: „WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" After that I realized she was hysteric, I didn't know why though, so I tried to calm her down, talk with her, but I always got interrupted with another screamed question. At some point I gave up trying to talk and screamed back, amplified by a wandless charm, as I probably wouldn't get through to her otherwise: „STOPPING A THREAT TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL!" Which penetrated her hysteric, though just for a short moment: „A THREAT? A THREAT? SHE WAS A PROTECTOR, a protector of this castle. Her whole long life being sacrificed for the wellbeing of the very school you are talking about! Misused by another for their selfish gain!" Clara going mid sentence from screaming, to uncontrollably sobbing, weeping, her voice fading with it, but still barely perceptible, her last sentence ending with undisguised venom in her voice.

I didn't know what to respond with, as that statement, supposed fact, took me by surprise. I needed a few seconds to gather myself, but before I could respond, there was a small blue spark jumping from her body to the basilisk's, before its body was being engulfed by bright blue flames, burning hotter and fiercer than even fiendfyre, the body being burned in mere seconds, while I could see Clara collapsing to the ground not long after, showing clear signs of accidental magic as well as magical exhaustion. „I am too old for this", I sighted: „Let's wrap this up. Just leave it burning, even I cannot put it out. Let us get out of here for today", I said to my companions, before levitating Clara and leaving the chamber dejectedly, which was annoying in itself.

— Clara POV —

Waking up was unpleasant, even for my standard or especially because of me. I couldn't move, not even blink. The only thing working was my mind and the feedback of my nerves, which was a jumbled mess of pure pain, completely overwhelmed by it in fact. Relatively fast I started sorting through all unsorted and after those incoming memories and feelings, trying to not get drowned by them. Through that I also learned about what happened at halloween, as before that my mind was fuzzy, most probably a concussion, together with my magical and mental core's exhaustion. While I would like to say, that I opened my eyes after a very short time, that wasn't the case. A mastery of mind arts apparently has the benefit of near perfect time perception. I didn't know how much time passed, while I was unconscious, but I could count every single second with grating certainty after waking up. Catching up with these memories needed a total of 76 hours, more than three days, all the while confined in my own mind, plague by pain. After that, while still sorting all new memories in real time, I started to think about my current situation. The first thing I did was making a new calculation for the average of data per second over differing periods of time, which luckily wasn't that hard, I just had not though about it yet. I also implemented it for minutes and hours, though anything longer wouldn't make any sense at this moment in time, though it would be relatively easy to implement over all.

Afterwards I analyzed my current condition, which honestly wasn't that hard, as I knew this could, no would happen at some point. My organic nerves were just not enough, bearing too much stress in too little time. My life was not at threat, while I could temporarily be crippled, like now, it would go away with time. There were naturally solutions, though most were very rare remedies, extinct in nature since thousands of years or very complicated rituals, spells and potions. Those were sadly all temporary or one time cure methods, treating the symptoms not the cause. The cause in my case was that all those feelings, sensations were transmitted by my nerves, which they were not meant to do in that intensity or at all. A permanent solution was very hard, hell even finding information about that sort of thing was near impossible.

There was also a more primitive, easier way to go about it, temporarily. A kind of cure for my current problem. Echoing mana, which basically meant that you sent out your mana in pulses, timing it just right that they neither strengthen nor weaken one another. This revitalized your biological body and helped with healing most wounds, though it was a painfully slow process. And the teeny tiniest mistake could kill you, imploding your whole body. Luckily this was more about mathematics and physics than control, as this was something most adult wizards should be able to do. As a matter of fact I had already practiced it before, which meant I already knew all the needed calculations for this. I slowly started doing exactly that, though I started with singular echos, before carefully adding more and more, until I reached 32 echos at once, which was my current limit. And that I kept doing, trapped in my own body, slowly treating it, while fighting against the ever looming threat of a worsening of my condition, depending on the forces applied to my body. I was basically fighting an uphill battle.

At some point sending echoes became a routine, no longer needing all my mental capacity to use. And then I got bored. Extremely so. While I could think about many things, they all turned monotonous real quickly. So I started the only two things I could do. Self reflection and discovery for my inner animal, as well as arithmancy. At first I just thought, why shouldn't I implement the calculation for an average of data per timeframe for every unit of time I had and at the end I just started experimenting with different things pertaining to the better and secure management of my mind. I also sorted my memories after another package, which was plainly titled pain, while being split internally for physical, magical and mental pain, not depending on the source or feeling of the pain but the recipient.

Self reflection, while hard and slow, finally showed results. I found a few inner animals in this time, some I even understood. The primary form was a small white fox. I would have instantly transformed, were it not for my coma. I then searched, tried to understand and comprehend the fox more, trying to get tangents to other animals.

Next I found the goldfish. The biggest difference lay in type of movement, habitat and size.

Another one was the polar bear. Differences were habitat, size and power.

Honeybee was the next one, which was surprising. Movement, place in ecosystem and size.

Raven was probably my secondary form, the only difference being the type of movement, while most other aspects had little to no difference.

Naturally it was not as easy as it sounded. It took nearly two weeks of constant meditation to find my primary form, after which it got slightly easier, only needing 1 week for goldfish and polar bear and three days for both honeybee and raven. The next direction of differences would either be a rooted animal cough plant, which was highly unlikely though possible or something hideous, with no style at all.

Alas, my time was up.