Diary of Seras Maldanado #8

Diary of Seras Maldonado #8

Mathius Brown had way more going on than Father Donovan said. Before I go on I just want to state I totally planned to follow up on day one of studying with a solid day two. I was going to check out The Sound and The Fury so I can catch up on the ten chapters I'm behind on. I was even going to go over my history textbook again. But, about 4 chapters in I decided to take a little break and look around the whole library. I hadn't had a chance to really look around and the book was heavy reading. The fiction section was the only spot I had been to and it only compromised the first three rows to the right of the front door and desk. I decided to walk from the left side, where the desk is, and walk around to the fiction section. As I walked I noticed the bookshelves becoming more ornate with beautiful and anachronistic carvings in them. There was also a symbol carved in yellow on all of them. The symbol was made of three major parts, a question mark at the top, a curved line to the left, and a line that turned at an angle to the right. There were also small dots in the middle where they came close to connecting but didn't actually connect. I don't know why but I hesitate to draw it myself. This symbol was also the only one colored and found in the same spot on every shelf. The lighting had also become much dimmer making it a little hard to see in the distance. I'm not even sure what was lighting the area as I couldn't clearly see the ceiling. I was walking for about 5 or 6 minutes before I realized how big the place was. The library seemed much smaller on the outside and I honestly thought the whole walk would take me about 7 minutes, 10 at the most. Instead, it took another 5 minutes, from when I first noticed the size of the place, before I reached the end of the rows, where the walls connected. As I got to the back wall I noticed a section that wasn't mentioned in the directory. An obscenely large and well preserved

“History of Franklin” section. Row after row of articles, private journals, bank statements, and church records. Franklin is an average small town, not terribly small but certainly not large enough for all of that. It's also not one of those towns where something amazing or unique happened. The most famous event to take place in the town's whole history was the apparent fight between a priest and a man from out of town that led to the massacre of about 119 people, almost a third of the entire population at the time. That should've been Franklin's big thing, the attraction that brought tourism into the town. Instead, no one talked about it. There were no statues or memorials for Foster or any other victims. It wasn't even mentioned in history class. Even the lake and forest named after him barely mention his death on their signs. No one in town seemed to know or care about it. All that was left of the past was this hidden library section and the vague recollections of a distant descendent. I went through everything. Every newspaper article, journal entry, church sermon, and personal letter I could find during the two years before Foster Greenes' arrival and the years he stayed here. I learned the following: Father Donovan greatly overstated how beloved his ancestor was, at least at first. For the first two years Foster lived in Franklin there were only two articles that even mentioned him. The first one titled "Your New Neighbors" was about all the new people who had moved to the town in the last month. In the article, Foster was described as a "tall man, with light skin, blue eyes, and brown hair. He's a man of the Lord and the only thing he loves more than our lord and savior Jesus Christ is spreading the word of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ". The quote that the reporter got from Foster was "I have come here for one reason and one reason only. To spread the gospel truth and save those who need saving". Greene wasn't mentioned again in the paper for another 10 months. In fact, there was no mention of Greene in anyone's notes but Father Micheal for that entire time. Father Micheal was concerned by the aggressive way in which Foster was trying to take over his flock. The man claimed he "could heal the blind, mute, death, and dumb with a baptism and a prayer." Father Micheal worried that many of his flock would be led astray by someone he felt was an obvious snake oil salesman. He asked Greene to work for him as an assistant in an attempt to not only stop Greene but also give him a chance to see how to give hope without giving false hope. Greene refused and accused him of being a heretic who lied and tricked others. He called Father Micheal the true serpent in paradise. The next time Greene is mentioned in an article is ten months later. The article is called "Unknown Preacher-man Come to Replace Local Priest", the article was a real hit piece. It called Greene a "Radical whose obsession with baptism has led many in the community astray. It's caused an increase in heresy and a decrease in the rightful worship of God". The writer is the same as the 1st article. From what I've seen of the newspaper articles she mainly did fluff pieces about local events. This piece was a huge shift for her. It appears that it has something to do with her becoming the lead colonist and possibly one of the remaining journalists in the newspaper. While all of this was taking place many members of the community sent letters about what was happening. Teachers. Librarians and doctors wrote to one another about avoiding the fighting taking place between one extremely radical man and one slightly less radical but equally annoying man. Two young Teachers Anne and Joshua banned Greene and talk of him from their small school house. Dr. Henry Marsh stated he wouldn't help anyone who got hurt while involved in this "religious riff raff ''. The librarian Lizzy stated that her library was a neutral zone and a place for learning all things, even those that religion opposed. Overall, the "intellectuals'' of the community chose to stand on the sideline and not get involved at first. Over the first two years, there was a slow and huge shift in power dynamics in the community. Because religion played such a large role in towns back then, when Greene showed up and started a theological coup it caused quite the schism. Father Micheal was well established but not universally beloved. As a more conservative preacher, even for the times, he had little care for single mothers, people of color, women facing domestic abuse, or people who worshiped differently. Greene targeted these people first. His first victory came when he "healed" a man of his alcoholism with a baptism about a year into his residence. The man's wife was abused when he became drunk and Foster managed to gain an entire family of 6 as followers in that one go. After that, he "healed" as many drunkards as he could and quickly gained a small flock of 23 before the end of the first year. He also agreed to watch the little ones of single mothers when they worked and openly opposed segregation. He didn't allow bigoted language in his congregation and expected everyone to be treated equally. Overall he was welcoming to those in need, as long as they listened to his gospel. This method caused the working class of the town to revolt against the middle and upper classes who had less to gain from working with Greene. They wouldn't attend Father Micheals's sermons and spread the gospel of Greene to anyone who would listen. Father Micheals people in return would denounce them as heretics. They even tried to have the mayor remove Greene and sent a letter to the Vatican to have him excommunicated. Greene actually agreed to leave as long as the Mayor would attend just one of his sermons. Shortly after the mayor would announce his resignation and his assistant, Peter Marsh, Henry's only son, would take his place. Peter also happened to be a devout follower of Greene. He joined after Greene ``healed" a local town thug who had broken Peter's arm a year prior. The thug, Lucas Kent, would later apologize to Peter and the two became good friends. There were many letters between Henry and Peter about this issue. The two had a hell of a falling out and unfortunately, they never got to reconcile as Peter was killed the Day God was Silent. This leads me to my final point. Mathuis Brown was one of many that acted on that night and he had been in town for at least 8 months before the event. The first evidence of Mathius being in town was a letter between him and Lizzie Clark, the librarian assistant. In it, he writes that he would like to use the library after hours for personal reasons and is more than willing to pay any "fees" necessary. Lizzie agreed to his request and she allowed him in around 730pm Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. She wrote in her own diary that the man [Mathuis] didn't steal a single book, leave a mess or cause any sort of trouble. He always paid his "fees" on the day and was actually quite nice to speak to. When asked why he chose the library as his haven, even going so far as to sleep in it, he supposedly said " To be honest with you Miss, I don’t get on with people from towns like this well. They ask everything about who you are, down to the smallest most intimate detail, with the confidence of one's own mother. While I do foresee that my stay here will be a while yet, it will not be permanent. I have found in this case, and many cases in which small towns such as yours are involved, I should find a nice library and bunker down. I know such places to be a sanctuary for people similar to myself" . She asked him what happens when there is no library and he replied, " then to the newspaper". If there is no newspaper? " Then to the local physician". And if there are no physicians? " Then I know I am truly in trouble". Lizzie had a good laugh at the whole conversation and had a very good opinion of Mathuis overall. She wasn't the only one, Dr. Henry, Gladys Stockten, and Lisa all have correspondence with Mathuis and got on well with him.

Except for three notes, all of Mathuis' personal notes seemed to be taken with him. I was about to go over them when I decided against it. To be honest i had started dozing off a bit as I read the later articles. I haven't had much sleep lately and the sleep I did have was not peaceful. I needed to get home and try and rest, even if it was a nightmare. I had decided to wrap it up and come again tomorrow when I got a call from mama and she was freaking out. She asked where I actually was and when I said the library she told me that was impossible. She said the library had closed three hours ago and I needed to be honest with her. I looked at my phone and it read 1:10pm. That's when I started freaking out as well. I had been in the back of the library for eight hours. I told her I would be home right away and booked it down the row closest to the wall. I don't know why but I was afraid to cut through the middle rows. They started looking like a dense and vast forest to me. Like if I tried to walk through it I would become lost and never make it out. I thought and hoped if I stayed along the edges it would be easier to navigate. Because there were beginnings and ends, and everything needs those. Otherwise, there would be neither or both, in a never-ending cycle.

Anyway, sorry I don't know what that was, I ran for about 6 minutes. I used my phone to time myself to get a better understanding of how large the library actually was. That six minutes felt like six hours, I had never run so fast before. When I finally got past the intricately ornate bookshelves and dimly lit rows I just knew I was back in the actual library. But I kept running until I made my original goal, the fiction section which stood directly across from the main door as it should. I turned and ran toward the door, not paying attention to the world around me, focused on the only exit I knew. Until a voice called out to me. I looked to see Evan the librarian waving me over, looking very concerned. I finally stopped enough to take in the rest of the room. The three girls from when I first came in were still studying. The stoner kid was still asleep against the Fantasy section. And Evan was still here, nothing had changed. I asked Evan what time it was. I saw him stare at the open phone I'm my hand and then back at me. I said nothing. He pulled out his own phone and turned it to me. The time read 530pm. My knees gave out from under me. It had only been about 15 minutes, which was equally as impossible. I went through dozens of documents. Maybe 30 or 40? It should have taken me at least 2 hours to get through all of that. It took me ten minutes just to walk back there and another six to come back around. He asked me if I needed to go to the hospital or call my parents. I didn't say anything as I stared at my shaking hands. It was sometime later, or maybe only a few seconds, that I finally worked up the nerve to call mama. She picked me up immediately and asked if I finished early and needed a ride home. I started crying after that and hung up. Hot tears rolled down my face and I pushed Evan away and walked out the door. I went over everything that happened. Where did I go wrong? Was it when I passed those ornate shelves or when mama called? Before that? And how long after did the effects last? Was Evan or those other people real? Was my call to mama real? As I thought of this unaware of the fingers digging into my thighs as I walked, my phone rang. It was mama again, I thought she was concerned about how fast I hung up. When I picked up I knew I was wrong and I also knew when things went askew.

"Mija. Where were you? I couldn't find you before. I called and you answered but I couldn't find you. Where did you go? Where did you go?. She -it- repeated itself over and over. The voice sounded exactly like the one in the library but only similar to my mother. It was the same voice but dead, with no emotion, no care. I thought the voice sounded so frantic before but maybe I got it wrong? Maybe I mixed up urgent and loud with frantic and afraid? Realized my mistake and something in me broke. I left the main road and sat underneath a nearby tree and wept. I cried and screamed into my knees. So much has happened, and so much has gone wrong. I was tired, so tired and I wasn't sure how much longer I could go on. It was all too much to take in. The nightmares, the monster calling me and the mysterious past I could only hope were connected. Maybe I was wrong and I was just going crazy? I slapped myself hard at that thought. My cheeks burned and stung as I went back and forth, hitting one cheek and then the other. I don't know how long I did that but eventually, I stopped and took a breath. I thought about Mama, how she never let us see her sad and weak, not even when dad left. She sold everything that belonged to him and never seemed to look back. That's something I got from her that Sophie didn’t, a callousness that some people said could make me a bit cold. It has always been something I tried to change about myself. For the first time that skill came in handy and I pushed it down. The fear, the anger, and the panic, all of it was pushed somewhere deep within me. The same place I put memories of dad and the few decent memories of New Mexico. It was a place filled with pain and loss that I tried hard to forget about. I composed myself, wiped the tears from my face, and dusted the dirt off my body. With no hesitation, I ran back to the library. I walked past Evan and everyone else without looking at them and went straight to the historical section. I took the 3 journal entries left by Mathuis, and several other papers, ignored my phone which had started ringing again and walked back out. This time I cut through the middle of the shelves to leave faster. The space was tight and it smelled like earth and dust. As I left I barely remembered to tell Evan I was borrowing paper from the historical section. When he asked "what historical section? " I just kept walking, it wasn't worth the effort. I was supposed to call Mama and let her pick me up but I wasn't ready to be around people yet, especially Mama. She would know something was wrong and ask questions. Questions I couldn't answer and didn't want to. When I got home I practically fell into my seat at the table. Mama asked what was wrong and I told her I was tired from walking. She chided me for it but still gave me a larger portion of dinner. She told me never to do something so bad for my health and dangerous again and I agreed. The promise tasted like dust and salt in my mouth. Dinner was no better, I barely registered what I was eating and don't remember most of it. Sophia and mama kept the conversation going while I stared blankly at my food and only ate when reminded. After dinner I took a quick shower which consisted mainly of my rubbing myself down slowly and letting the shower do the rest. I'm pretty sure I still had soap on me when i went to bed. As I stood under the shower I felt like I was drowning again, sinking into that abyss. I could smell salt and hear a deep humming voice. I gasped and almost slipped in the shower as I came back to myself. Showering may be difficult from now on and I can't imagine baths will be better. I slid into bed and bundled myself up in the sheets. Part of me wanted to start reading the materials I found but as my eyesight began to blur I decided against it. I did eventually fall asleep. When I did it was the same as always. My lungs burnt. My hands clawed. The voice consumed. Second verse same as the first. Another horrific night for Seras Maldonado.

SerasM