Chapter 14

With every peek he took at Angel, no, Gabriel, Ryden's heart pounded faster and his chest felt unusually tight. He used a napkin to wipe his mouth and subtly tried to catch his breath. The day felt more bizarre the more he considered it. It was similar to one of those dreams where you wake up not sure if it was genuine or just a figment of your imagination.

Ryden wasn't certain if he was ready for whatever this feeling was.

He's a mess and is unsure what to concentrate on first. Is it the astounding discovery that Angel is, in fact, Gabriel? Or is it that Gabriel appears to be flirting with him in public with such ease and assurance that it's hard to ignore?

As he tries to comprehend the unthinkable reality that is playing out in front of him, each idea vies for his attention and diverts his thoughts.

However, after some consideration, and a mouthful of pizza, he realized that it was probably best to focus on the immediate and more perplexing issue: Gabriel flirting with him. Sure, seeing Angel—the model who had, in many ways, been the catalyst for all of this—reveal herself as Gabriel was undeniably disorienting and a part of him still needed to make sense of the two personas.

But, it was simpler to accept the realization because Angel had always been his friend. Gabriel, in the end, was still Gabriel. Despite the unexpected twist, at his core, it was undeniably him—the same person he had known.

He does, in fact, like Gabriel. In his own way, he has always liked him. However, this? This isn't the same. The irresistible chemistry, the lighthearted teasing... It's much more complicated than he thought. He hasn't had time to consider his emotions and hasn't allowed himself to view Gabriel as anything other than a close friend. He's always viewed him through that familiar, platonic lens, and now that lens feels shakier each passing moment.

He couldn't help but recall the time they spent together at the convention, Gabriel had been so effortlessly attentive, so present in that moment. He recalled how, in the midst of the crowd, Gabriel had grabbed for his hand, his touch comforting and warm. Unquestionably, there was a sense of comfort in the way Gabriel had led him through the dense crowd with a steady, firm grasp, as though they were the only two people in the world.

He had been somewhat oblivious of Gabriel's advances at the time, and he had to admit this to himself now. In retrospect, it seemed so clear, but at the time, he had dismissed it as Gabriel being his own friendly, kind self.

Ryden wondered how many moments had gone by without him even recognizing their possible significance or if he had missed something important.

Ryden had finished his pizza and drink without even realizing it, his mind wandering as he absentmindedly pushed the empty plate aside. He was unaware of the awkward stillness that had developed between them until the waitress arrived to clean their table. He was suddenly struck with the realization, and his chest ached. Ryden disliked the way the silence made him feel as though something was wrong, as though a hole had developed between them without either of them realizing it.

Ryden shifted in his chair and glanced at Gabriel, attempting to break the awkward silence that had fallen between them. With a small, somewhat uncertain smile, he spoke up, as if to make room for conversation once more, "That was a good pizza."

Gabriel hummed in agreement, his expression unreadable for a moment, before he added, "Wanna get back home?" His tone was casual.

Ryden tried to ignore the lingering tension by nodding. He answered, "Yeah, let's head back." They both got up and silently gathered their belongings. Ryden insisted on paying for both of them. "I'll take care of it," he said, his hand already reaching for his wallet before Gabriel could protest.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, but he didn't push back. "Alright," he said with a grin, a quiet acceptance in his voice, and for a moment, everything seemed just a little bit easier.

Ryden noticed something that had escaped his attention earlier as they left the restaurant: Gabriel was taller than he had recalled. He looked at his shoes, it added a noticeable height and it made Gabriel stand out more. Ryden found himself staring up at him in awe. Gabriel's posture was confident, and he carried himself with such ease. He shook his head slightly, trying to clear the daze that had taken over him. Yes, this was Gabriel—the same Gabriel he knew, the one he'd spent countless hours talking to.

There was still a part of Ryden that couldn't quite separate Angel and Gabriel.

As they walk back to their apartment complex, Ryden couldn't help but notice that Gabriel's pace is slower than usual. Gabriel usually walked with a kind of effortless stride, his long legs carrying him swiftly, but now his movements were a little slower and more deliberate. Ryden understood it instantly. Despite their visually appealing design, the shoes were certainly not the most practical for long walks, and Gabriel had most likely slowed down to prevent any embarrassing slips.

Without a moment's hesitation, Ryden found himself speaking before his mind could fully process what he was about to do. "Hold my hand," he said, his voice steady but carrying an undercurrent of intent. "It's safer." The words flowed effortlessly, as though they had been poised on the end of his tongue, ready to fill the void between them.

Instinctively, Ryden reached out and touched Gabriel's hand before he could even reply. For a little moment, his hand hovered before he firmly seized it and brought their hands together. The instantaneous and electric connection between Gabriel's skin and his sent a chill down his spine. Ryden's heart raced although it seemed natural, almost like it had always been intended to be. It was a small gesture, yet the way their hands fit together felt impossibly right.

Ryden sensed a change as they walked, a subtle but noticeable alteration in the atmosphere between them. It seemed as though holding hands was a subconscious affirmation, a way to acknowledge something that had always existed but had never been expressed between them.

As they arrived in their apartment complex, he didn't want to let go of the comforting, firm presence that Gabriel's hand had become in his. Though every instinct in him cried out for him to hang on a bit longer, he reluctantly began to loosen and let his fingers slip from Gabriel's. He felt a startling emptiness as his hand eventually dropped away, as if the profound yet clear link had vanished.

Looking at Gabriel, he became acutely conscious of the space between them and experienced an almost absurd want to reach out once more in an attempt to bridge the gap and restore the warmth and comfort that had been a part of his chest throughout their walk.

Gabriel, ever observant, seems to perceive the unspoken desire that lingered between them. He hesitated, his eyes softening as he turned to face Ryden, as if he had picked up on the slight change in his attitude, the way his body appeared to be reaching for something that was just out of reach. Gabriel leaned down without saying anything, and with a silent, deliberate motion, he closed the gap between them.

Ryden's breath hitched and his heart raced in his chest. Gabriel's lips then lightly touched his cheek before he had a chance to collect his thoughts. Even though it was a brief and simple gesture, Ryden felt a shock of electricity as the warmth of it appeared to radiate through him. The gentleness of Gabriel's touch wasn't the only thing that stuck with him; his tenderness and silent closeness expressed more than words could.

As if he had given Ryden exactly what he hadn't known how to ask for, Gabriel slowly straightened up and met Ryden's eyes with a peaceful understanding. His eyes were gentle yet perceptive, a faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Ryden, still in shock at the sudden intimacy, could only respond with a tentative, gasping smile. Even though the moment was over, the warmth of it persisted and thickened the air between them, leaving Ryden feeling a whirlpool of emotions he couldn't quite put his finger on.

They chose to let the silence speak for itself rather than use words.