38.Not in love anymore

In the afternoon, Xiao Wan returned to Chen Xin's villa. She originally planned to go back to get some things and stay with the band for a while, but when she opened the door, she was surprised to see Chen Xin sitting on the couch.

It was a weekday—shouldn't he, the workaholic, be at the company?

But this thought only flashed through Xiao Wan's mind briefly. She didn't ask him about his plans. She walked past him and headed upstairs, but suddenly, the man on the couch spoke, "Stop."

Xiao Wan naturally ignored him and sped up her pace. Chen Xin quickly caught up and grabbed her wrist, his voice dark and urgent. "Where did you go last night? I called you so many times and you didn't pick up! Does this mean every time we argue, you'll just leave home like this?"

"Yes," Xiao Wan turned around and looked at him coldly. "I'm that willful. If you, Chen Xin, make me unhappy, I'll leave you. What can you do about it?"

Chen Xin's face showed both hurt and anger. "And then? Will you leave me for Leng Qing? I just wanted to hear you say 'I love you.' Is that really such a big deal? Isn't 'I love you' something lovers say to each other? I know I wasn't very nice to you last night, but I only asked for something completely reasonable. Why are you reacting like this?"

"Those three words may be a normal request for you, but not for me. In my world, there's no such thing as love," Xiao Wan said coldly. "Chen Xin, remember this: I, Lin Xiao Wan, am just playing with you. I will never develop real feelings for you. So don't even think about tying me to you with those three words. I don't belong to you, and I never will."

Chen Xin was even more hurt. "How could I want to tie you with those three words? I'm just a man in love, wanting the girl I love to love me back. Why does that sound like a fantasy to you?"

"Because I don't want to love anyone! I just want to enjoy life and seek pleasure, and once I'm bored with your body, I'll toss you aside!" Xiao Wan said hoarsely. "From the beginning, you should've understood what kind of woman I am. Why are you talking to me about love now? I don't need any stupid love in my world!

Chen Xin, to me, you're just a higher-class FWB. If you still want to continue, then don't ever bring this up again, or I'll leave you right now."

Chen Xin pinched the bridge of his nose and choked up. "What's the difference between leaving now and leaving after you're bored with me? In the end, I'm nothing to you, right?"

Xiao Wan clenched her fists. "Yes. It's great that you finally realize that."

She shook off his hand and turned to head upstairs.

"What about Leng Qing?" Chen Xin chased her again, asking, "If there's no love in your world, why does Leng Qing always stay there with you?"

Xiao Wan's footsteps faltered slightly. "…Leng Qing is family, I've told you that."

"Family?" Chen Xin couldn't help but laugh bitterly, asking back, "A family who shares the same bed with you? Lin Xiao Wan, why don't you just admit it? You actually have love in your heart, and the person you love is Leng Qing! That's why other men in your eyes can be replaced every three months, and I'm just an FWB! If you really don't love anyone, I can accept that. But I can't accept that you have someone you love, and yet you play dumb and tell me you don't need love, pushing me out of your world!"

"Because you never belonged in my world!" Xiao Wan finally teared up, turning around with sadness and anger in her eyes. "In my world, there will always be only me! You men say you love me and understand me, but isn't it my pretty face you're in love with? If you knew what happened to me, you would never love me even a little bit! You'd hate me, disgusted by me, just like seeing maggots in a sewer! So stop begging me to love you. Because once you truly understand me, you'll probably want to vomit at the thought of someone like me loving you!"

Chen Xin was stunned by her words. Just as he was about to ask what she meant, Xiao Wan pushed him away and ran down the stairs in tears.

"Xiao Wan!"

This time, Chen Xin didn't just watch her walk away silently. He drove after her. However, Xiao Wan ran wildly on the road as if she had lost her mind. Chen Xin, worried about getting too close and triggering her, had no choice but to stop at an intersection, watching her drive off and disappear from his sight.

But the words she had just said kept echoing in his ears—

What had happened to her? What kind of sadness was hidden beneath that seemingly carefree and wild exterior?

·

Xiao Wan ran with tears streaming down her face. Once she calmed down, she realized, unknowingly, she had driven to Leng Qing's studio again.

Over the past two years, every time she broke up or felt heartbroken, she seemed to habitually come here to seek comfort from Leng Qing. Maybe for her, Leng Qing was a safe harbor where she could escape the storms of life. But what about Leng Qing? Would he willingly keep helping her over and over?

Chen Xin had said something right; she was indeed pretending. She knew exactly how Leng Qing felt about her, but she never gave him any response or promise. Instead, she used him time and time again, making him heal her broken heart.

But what about Leng Qing? Every time she sought comfort from him and left, didn't his heart get hurt too? Who would help him heal his wounds?

As she thought about this, the tears Xiao Wan had barely managed to control flowed again. She thought she was probably the most selfish person in the world. To protect herself, she hurt the men who loved her. But what else could she do? She didn't have the courage to tell them what had happened in her past.

She didn't even dare to recall that dark period of her life. Every time she thought about it even a little, the endless fear would engulf her like hell.

Xiao Wan cried on the steering wheel for a while before finally calming down a bit. She wiped her tears, turned the car around, and drove away. She decided that this time, she wouldn't trouble Leng Qing anymore. If she really planned to die at 25, it was better not to leave him too many memories.

She found a hotel, booked a suite, and lay on the big bed, covering herself with a pillow, trying to drive away the sadness in her heart with sleep.

·

Three days later.

Chen Xin sat in the conference room, staring at the materials on the table with a blank expression. He could hear his subordinates reporting, but he couldn't make out what they were saying.

After an unknown amount of time, someone suddenly tapped his shoulder. Chen Xin looked up to find Harold looking at him with concern and asking, "Chen, are you alright?"

Chen Xin shook his head and looked around at the other people in the room. He then realized how quiet it had become. He forced himself to calm down and said, "I'm fine. Where were we?"

Another manager whispered, "We've finished. We're just waiting for you to summarize."

Chen Xin froze for a moment and then sighed deeply, rubbing his temples. "Sorry everyone, I'm not in the best state today. How about this—please send me a more concise version of the report to my email, and I'll review it and reply before noon. For now… let's adjourn the meeting."

Everyone stood up and left, except Harold, who remained seated.

Once everyone else had left, Harold walked over, closed the door, and turned to ask Chen Xin, "You had a fight with Xiao Wan, didn't you?"

Chen Xin looked at him in surprise, then smiled bitterly and self-deprecatingly, asking, "Is it that obvious?"

"Well, actually, I guessed it the day before yesterday. You've been absent-minded all day, and it's getting worse day by day," Harold shrugged. "What can I say, a married man is especially sensitive in this regard."

Chen Xin let out a bitter laugh and said, "Then, as a married man, can you give me some advice? I really don't know what to do anymore."

"Of course. First, tell me, what did you guys fight about?" Harold asked seriously.

Chen Xin lowered his gaze, his voice heavy as he said, "Two reasons. One is that she won't say she loves me; the other is that there's always a man around her. I want her to stay away from that man, but she won't."

Harold nodded in understanding, thinking for a moment before speaking. "About the first reason, I think you can't force it. Women's emotions are very delicate and take time to accumulate. She has feelings for you, I'm sure of that, but she might just need more time to deepen her love."

Chen Xin shook his head, "No, she said she would never love any man in her life. I'm just a plaything to her."

"Sometimes, when women say that, it doesn't mean that's really what they think," Harold said. "You need to look past her words and find out what she's really thinking. Once you truly understand her, winning her heart won't be far off."

Chen Xin started to understand, looking up at Harold more seriously.

Harold felt like a relationship guru and immediately puffed out his chest, continuing, "As for the second reason for the argument, Chen, you need to realize that Xiaowan is an incredibly charismatic and attractive woman. Even if you drive away the man around her now, there will be others who will keep coming. Are you planning to drive them all away one by one? That's not a long-term solution."

"So, what should I do?" Chen Xin asked.

Harold scratched his chin, "I feel like Xiaowan is the kind of girl who's like the wind—she doesn't like to settle down. But if you're understanding, patient, and protect her enough, eventually, she'll come back to you."

Chen Xin sighed and said, "I understand. But you probably don't get the feeling I have—I want to possess her. I want to be her whole world, and for her to depend on me completely."

"Hey, I'm a man too. I totally get what you're feeling," Harold patted his shoulder. "But right now, Xiaowan clearly doesn't want to settle down with you, so you'll have to keep trying. After all, you handle business worth billions with ease, and I believe that with your strength, winning her heart is just a matter of time."

Chen Xin knew that love and business were two different things and couldn't be compared. But he still appreciated Harold's words and patted him on the back. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. If you need anything, just come to me anytime. As a married man, I have plenty of good advice," Harold said with a grin.

After Harold left, Chen Xin found his assistant and gave him a quick rundown of the company's affairs before heading out of the office.

Though he hadn't figured out how to make Xiaowan change her mind, he knew it was better to find her and bring her back as soon as possible.

He drove to Leng Qing's studio, knocked on the door, and after a moment, it was opened.

Leng Qing looked at him indifferently, "What's up?"

Chen Xin didn't like the feeling of lowering his head in front of this man, but still said, "I'm here to take Xiaowan home."

Leng Qing furrowed his brows slightly, quickly understanding what had happened. He couldn't help but sneer and said calmly, "She went to the supermarket for food. She's not here."

Chen Xin observed his face carefully, and his mood suddenly lightened. "You're lying. Xiaowan isn't here with you."

"Oh? How can you tell?"

"Although you're hiding it well, you were surprised when I said I was here to take her home. Also, I don't believe you'd let her go buy food by herself."

Leng Qing raised his left hand, "I've fractured my arm, it's inconvenient for me to go out."

Chen Xin replied, "Even if your legs were broken, you wouldn't let Xiaowan go alone. I know how important she is to you, just like she is to me."

Leng Qing fell silent. After a moment, he spoke, "Even if she's not here with me now, when she dumps you, she'll come back. Chen Xin, you'd better realize, you'll never be able to compare to me."

Chen Xin smiled mockingly, his eyes cold as he looked at Leng Qing. "Then let's see who's more important to her, me or you."

As soon as Chen Xin finished speaking, Leng Qing raised his right hand and threw a punch towards his face. Chen Xin nimbly sidestepped, avoiding the attack, and even raised his arm to block Leng Qing's kicking leg.

He pinned Leng Qing's move and smiled politely, "If you want to fight, fine, but you should wait until you're healed. I don't fight with weaklings."

Leng Qing squinted his eyes and shot a dark look at him. Suddenly, he pulled his right hand out of Chen Xin's hold and, with lightning speed, struck towards Chen Xin's neck, coldly saying, "Even if my left hand is useless, you're still no match for me!"

Then, he raised his leg and kicked at Chen Xin's abdomen. Chen Xin jumped back just in time, and since Leng Qing was being serious, Chen Xin wasn't planning on being polite either. He elbowed towards Leng Qing's chest and swung a punch at his face.

Leng Qing dodged the elbow to his chest, but couldn't avoid the punch to the side of his face. The corner of his mouth split open, bleeding. He wiped his mouth with his thumb and looked at the blood, then sneered, suddenly leaping like a hawk. He slapped towards Chen Xin's abdomen and followed up with a spinning kick that landed on Chen Xin's chest.

Chen Xin grunted, staggering back a step and leaning against the wall. Just as he was about to charge again, a voice from the side called out, "Oh my God, what are you two doing? Stop it!"

Both men immediately turned toward the voice and saw Ma Qi, holding a large bag of groceries, looking at them in shock.

"Are you crazy?!" Ma Qi exclaimed as she rushed over to separate them. "What the hell are you fighting for? If Xiaowan finds out, what will she think? Especially you, Leng Qing! You're injured, and now you're fighting, are you trying to make her angry?"

At the mention of Xiaowan, the two men naturally had no more tempers left. Leng Qing muttered, "No, it's not that."

"Then go back to your room and rest!" Mackie pointed to the studio and said, "It's a good thing Xiaowan asked me to take care of you because of your broken bone, but you're still making her worry!"

Cold Qing quickly lowered his head and walked back into the room.

But that wasn't the end of it. Mackie turned around, angry, and looked at Chen Xin. "What's wrong with you? Why did you come here and fight with Cold Qing? Did you argue with Xiaowan again?"

Chen Xin dared not look her in the eyes. "…I didn't mean to."

"What do you mean, 'didn't mean to'? Xiaowan has so many ex-boyfriends, and you're the one who argues with her the most! I think you're doing it on purpose!" Mackie placed her hands on her hips and scolded him. "I used to think highly of you, but now you just keep making her angry! I should advise her to break up with you!"

"Please don't, I know I was wrong." Chen Xin hurriedly said. "I came here to apologize, but I didn't expect her not to be here, and then I got into a small argument with Cold Qing…"

"Small argument? I don't want to hear your explanation!" Mackie said, breathing heavily, and immediately dialed Xiaowan's phone number. "Today, I'm definitely going to tell Xiaowan about you two! You've really pissed me off!"

Chen Xin nervously looked at Mackie, but after she held the phone to her ear for a moment, she said, "She's turned off her phone… Damn, it's definitely because you made her angry!"

Chen Xin quickly said, "I'll go find her right now and apologize properly, let her handle it, okay?"

Mackie thought for a long while, then unwillingly glared at him, "Then hurry up! Every time Xiaowan is sad, she refuses to eat properly, and if she gets sick, I'll deal with you!"

In Chen Xin's memory, Mackie had always been a gentle and somewhat timid girl, but now she was showing so much courage and loyalty for her best friend. He couldn't help but nod strongly, "I'll find her quickly, don't worry. Thanks for caring so much about her."

"Go find her, don't waste time here!"

On one side, Chen Xin was being urged by Mackie to find Xiaowan, while on the other side, the person he was searching for was leaving her hotel and heading to the meeting spot she had arranged with Catherine.

Catherine had rented a dance studio for the dance team to practice, and as soon as Xiaowan entered, she was warmly welcomed by all the team members. The slender, bright-faced girls in the dance team came over to hug her, all excited to see Xiaowan again.

However, facing their enthusiasm, Xiaowan felt a little overwhelmed. After all, she had dropped out of the team midway, causing a lot of changes to the choreography, which was why the team didn't make it to the finals of the National Street Dance Competition.

But now, these dream-chasing, impoverished girls didn't hold her exit against her and welcomed her return with warmth.

Xiaowan couldn't help but feel teary-eyed. She lowered her head and choked, "I owe everyone an apology for last year's competition. I shouldn't have just left like that, I'm really sorry…"

But before she could finish, the other girls interrupted her: "Don't say that, Xiaowan, we know you had no choice."

"Yeah, that old witch was scheming behind your back, you're the victim!"

"Exactly! And last year, it was our own fault. When you left, we were all a bit panicked, so we didn't perform well in the later rounds. But this year, it'll be different. We've learned from last year, and we'll definitely do better!"

With everyone being so forgiving, Xiaowan only wanted to cry more. She couldn't help but rub her eyes and suppress the urge to cry, saying in a choked voice, "Thank you all. Let's not talk about those things anymore, let me see your dance for this year."

Catherine immediately gathered the team together, and they performed the dance along with the music.

Xiaowan watched seriously and quickly noticed a few uncoordinated movements. She quietly made a note of the issues with the new choreography and gave feedback to Catherine. After listening, Catherine couldn't help but look at her with admiration and regret, "You're really amazing, Xiaowan, your ideas are more creative than many professional choreographers. I really wish you could dance with us this time."

Xiaowan shook her head, "No need, I'll be happy just to see you win."

"Don't worry, this time I'll make sure we win the championship for you," Catherine said, patting her on the shoulder.

She quickly led the team to practice the revised choreography, while Xiaowan sat by the side, holding Catherine's laptop, hoping to watch their previous practice videos and offer more suggestions.

However, when she opened the dance collection folder, she suddenly saw a folder named "201X Year N City Preliminary Video Highlights."

Xiaowan's hand trembled slightly as she opened the folder, and the first video was titled "Dream Sunshine Team," Catherine's team. Xiaowan didn't watch the first video but scrolled down and quickly found another familiar name: "Roller Coaster Team."

She took a deep breath, gathered her courage, and clicked on the video.

A few young, tall guys in blue casual clothes stood on stage and performed a cool and chic street dance to intense electronic music.

After the performance, the audience's applause continued for a long time, and the judges had to smile and turn around to calm them down before the surroundings finally quieted down. The handsome young men also wore excited smiles, seemingly satisfied with their performance.

At this moment, the female judge sitting in the middle asked, "Wow, I have to say, you guys performed really well. I've already seen 15 teams today, and although there's still one more team left, I can say that you are definitely the best team of the day."

The young men all nodded, smiling and thanking the female judge.

"Then, tell us a little about yourselves and this dance," she said.

One of the tall guys with light blonde hair and green eyes stepped forward, elegantly and charmingly smiling at the judges, "Hello judges. Our team is called 'Roller Coaster Team,' and I'm the captain, Lance Meyer."