44.Emotional harm

"Love and Shadows" is an American Western cowboy movie. Typically, films of this genre are filled with thrilling gunfights and scenes of galloping on horseback, centered around the legendary life of a heroic figure. However, what sets Love and Shadows apart is that it's actually a romance disguised as a cowboy film.

The story is set in the early 20th century. The protagonist, Nick, is a quintessential hero—tall, handsome, brave, and righteous. Riding his noble steed, he roams the vast and desolate American West, living the life of a wanderer. Along the way, he helps those in need without ever asking for anything in return.

Nick has had many women in his life—so many, in fact, that nearly every woman he encounters falls for him. He pauses his journey temporarily to enjoy sweet moments with them but is always driven to leave again, captivated by his longing for freedom.

One day, Nick arrives in a prosperous little town. While riding through the streets, he spots a beautifully dressed young woman stepping out of a boutique. She wears a silk dress, white gloves on her delicate hands, and has servants trailing behind her carrying her clothes. It's clear she is a wealthy heiress.

Nick halts his horse and gazes at her, captivated. In that instant, he feels something he has never felt before: he doesn't want just a fleeting moment with this woman—he wants her forever. At that moment, he knows that he has lost his freedom. This woman is now his entire world.

The heiress notices Nick's gaze, blushes slightly, and quickly turns away. But after getting into her carriage, she can't resist stealing a few more glances at him.

The two fall in love at first sight. Overcome with emotion, Nick immediately finds the heiress's home and boldly tells her wealthy father that he wants to marry her.

Her father, a reputable businessman known for his fairness and politeness, hopes his daughter will marry a good man. He admires Nick's charisma and extraordinary presence but worries about Nick's free-spirited nature and whether it might lead him to abandon his daughter in the end.

Thus begins a dramatic tale of love and family. After a series of emotional ups and downs, Nick wins the father's approval and successfully marries the heiress.

If the story ended here, it would simply be a tale of a man achieving his happily-ever-after, and audiences might wonder why such a movie received an Academy Award. But the story does not stop here.

After their marriage, Nick and the heiress live a blissful life together—until tragedy strikes. An old enemy of her father, a ruthless gang leader, arrives in town with his men. They raid the family's wealth, mercilessly killing everyone in the town.

Nick happens to be away when this occurs. When he returns, he finds the streets littered with corpses and blood. His father-in-law's severed head hangs from the town's signpost. Worst of all, his beloved wife has been captured by the gang leader, who cruelly stabs her to death before Nick's eyes.

The gang mocks Nick as a coward and ties him to a post, forcing him to watch as the bodies of his loved ones slowly decay. Then they leave, certain that Nick will die alone in the desolate town.

But fueled by the burning desire for revenge, Nick spends three days and nights rubbing his bonds against the post until he finally breaks free. Starved and dehydrated, he buries his wife, her parents, and all the townspeople with a numb expression.

He then picks up his gun and begins a relentless journey of vengeance. Overcoming countless challenges, Nick kills everyone responsible for the massacre. Along the way, he forms close bonds with a few loyal friends, even gaining the admiration of a female cowboy who falls in love with him.

At this point, most viewers would expect Nick to have healed his emotional wounds and be ready to start a new chapter in life. But when the cowgirl confesses her feelings to him, Nick responds with a melancholic expression and says:

"My life is wide, but my love is small—and I've already given it all to my wife."

Then he rode his horse, holding the pair of white gloves that belonged to his wife, shouting as he galloped into the boundless desert of the West. As the sun set on the horizon, he ended his own life with a gun.

This movie won the Best Picture award primarily because its story defied the trend of pandering to audiences with happy endings, instead opting for a tragic conclusion. Lance's Best Actor win, on the other hand, was owed to his masterful performance.

When the film was first released, many critics doubted that such a young actor could handle the role of a legendary cowboy, portraying both his charismatic swagger and his deep love for the heroine. But they soon realized they were wrong. Lance captured the desolation and heartbreak of losing his wife so vividly that audiences felt every ounce of his pain.

The critics quickly reversed their opinions, showering him with praise. His performance was so authentic and heartfelt that fans began to speculate whether Lance had experienced such a profound love and loss in real life.

At the Oscars, Lance gave a speech that further fueled the fans' curiosity. They became convinced that Lance must have once loved someone deeply, only to lose her for some reason. Eager to uncover the identity of this mysterious woman, they found that all traces of Lance's supposed former lover had been meticulously erased, leaving no clues behind.

At this very moment, that mysterious ex-girlfriend was curled up in Chen Xin's arms, staring blankly at the TV screen as the film's end credits rolled.

Chen Xin lowered his head and kissed Xiao Wan's hair. "He really did give an excellent performance."

Xiao Wan sniffled and murmured softly, "Yeah."

"Is this why you've been so upset today—because thinking about him brought back old memories?" Chen Xin asked gently.

Xiao Wan nodded, her voice choked with tears. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't talk about an ex in front of you, but I just couldn't help it. I feel so awful… I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Chen Xin reassured her, stroking her hair. "I've told you before, you can tell me anything. I'm willing to accept everything about you."

He paused, then added thoughtfully, "From what I've seen, Lance seems like a decent man. I doubt he'd do something like Nathan or Hayden did to hurt you. So… why did you leave him?"

Xiao Wan took a deep breath before whispering, "I hurt him."

Chen Xin chuckled lightly, cupping her face. "Silly girl. Every man who breaks up with you would feel hurt—because they know they'll never find anyone better than you."

"No." Xiao Wan shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "I really, really hurt him. I… I stabbed him with a knife. That's why we broke up."

Chen Xin's eyes widened in shock. He stared at her, stunned, before finally asking, "Why? Did he… try to hurt you, and you had to defend yourself?"

Xiao Wan shook her head violently, her tears falling faster. "No, he didn't try to hurt me. It was me… I…"

"What happened?" Chen Xin asked, holding her shoulders gently. "Tell me, Xiao Wan. Why did you stab him?"

Xiao Wan opened her mouth several times to explain, but each time she hesitated, too scared to speak. In the end, she simply collapsed into Chen Xin's arms, sobbing helplessly.

Chen Xin hugged her tightly, patting her back to comfort her. "Alright, alright, I won't ask anymore. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to."

"I'm sorry," Xiao Wan cried repeatedly in his arms. "I'm so sorry… I can't bring myself to say it."

"It's okay," Chen Xin murmured, kissing her softly. "Everyone has secrets in their heart. I won't force you to tell me."

He held her and comforted her for a long time until she finally calmed down. Seeing her exhaustion, Chen Xin carried her to the bedroom. "Get some sleep. Don't think about anything else—I'm here with you."

"Mm." Xiao Wan nodded lightly, clutching him tightly like a lifeline. Tears still streaked her face as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

Chen Xin, however, couldn't sleep. On one hand, he was unsettled by the reemergence of another formidable rival in his emotional life. On the other, he was desperate to understand why Xiao Wan had stabbed her ex-boyfriend. Though her personality could be sharp at times, she was not someone who would resort to violence. Something significant must have happened between her and Lance to lead to such an incident.

Determined, Chen Xin picked up his phone and sent a message to a contact saved as "Sun":

"Investigate someone for me—Lance Meyer. I need to know everything that happened to him between September two years ago and January last year."

"Sun" quickly replied: "The person you're asking about is the son of Meyer Airlines' chairman. Investigating him might be challenging."

Chen Xin: "If funds become an issue, let me know immediately. I need to know everything about him, especially anything related to Xiao Wan."

"Sun": "Understood. I'll have answers for you in a week."

After sending the messages, Chen Xin gently put down his phone, adjusted Xiao Wan's blanket, kissed her forehead, and lay down beside her.

But Xiao Wan, though asleep, was lost in a dream about Lance.

She remembered how, after their first trip to the amusement park, Lance began inviting her out often. At first, he always chose elegant, high-class venues, but Xiao Wan disliked his pretentious, upper-class demeanor. Eventually, she started taking him to more down-to-earth places—crowded, smoky diners and old cinemas where one dollar could buy a whole night's worth of movies.

Though Lance wasn't used to such settings, he always accompanied her without complaint.

Later, he gradually adapted to Xiaowan's way of life. He started coming over every day to accompany her, and eventually, without either of them saying anything explicit, Lance naturally began staying in her old apartment. However, he only slept on her couch.

Xiaowan had tried teasing him a few times, suggesting he share her bed, but Lance would always blush slightly and politely decline. He would tell her he felt they hadn't known each other long enough and didn't want to rush things, fearing she might think he didn't respect her.

Xiaowan would just roll her eyes and punch him lightly in response.

Lance seemed particularly fascinated by the antique furniture in her apartment, many of which had intricate Chinese designs and carvings. One evening, after dinner, Lance opened Xiaowan's dresser to see if he could find anything interesting. Inside, he discovered a photo frame. The black-and-white photo inside was of a young woman, whose features bore a resemblance to Xiaowan. The woman was wearing an elegant ballet dress, posing gracefully for the camera with a warm and gentle smile.

Curious, Lance held up the frame and asked Xiaowan, "Is this you?"

Xiaowan, who was lounging on the sofa watching a movie, glanced over and burst out laughing. "No, silly. That's my grandmother."

Lance was momentarily surprised before commenting, "You and your grandmother look so alike. This photo is beautiful. Was she a ballet dancer?"

"She was," Xiaowan said with a touch of sadness. "But she injured her leg while dancing and couldn't perform anymore." She took the frame from Lance's hand, carefully wiped it clean, and placed it back in the drawer.

Lance knew that Xiaowan's grandmother had left the apartment to her, so he couldn't help but ask, "Did her life get difficult after she had to stop dancing?"

"No," Xiaowan sighed. "She actually managed okay after that. But later, she met a man who promised her the world, saying he'd bring her to America to live a happy life. She believed him and gave him all her savings. But once he had her money, he abandoned her and came to America alone. Around that time, she found out she was pregnant with his child. Everyone told her to terminate the pregnancy, but she insisted on keeping the baby and raising it."

Lance couldn't help but ask, "Then how did she end up in America later?"

"She came looking for him," Xiaowan replied with a bitter laugh. "But by then, he had already used her money to build a nice life, married someone else, and was living happily. You men are so good at lying to women—it's like a natural talent."

Lance instinctively hugged her from behind and said, "I would never do that."

"Never, my foot," Xiaowan retorted, glaring at him. "You haven't even told me who you really are, Mr. Rich Heir. I don't even know what your family does."

Lance hesitated for a moment before admitting, "I thought you'd already guessed. Meyer Airlines—have you heard of it?"

"What?" Xiaowan turned to look at him in shock. "That's your family's company? The one with hundreds of planes?"

"Yeah," Lance said, rubbing his chin against her shoulder. "I thought you'd figure it out from my last name. You're so smart, after all."

"There are plenty of people with the last name Meyer in the world!" Xiaowan rolled her eyes. "Smart, my foot. You're just trying to say I'm a gold digger with too many connections, aren't you?"

"That's not what I meant." Lance turned her around to face him, lightly pinching her nose. "Don't twist my words on purpose."

Xiaowan huffed, "I'll twist them if I want. What can you do about it?"

"Of course I wouldn't hit you," Lance said, smiling mischievously. "But I could always do something else." With that, he leaned in and kissed her.

After a while, Xiaowan softened. Resting her head on his chest and fiddling with his shirt buttons, she asked, "If your family runs such a big company, is it because your parents are too busy to care about you that they let you wander around and play without coming home?"

"No," Lance explained. "Actually, it's because I fell out with my family."

"Oh? Why?" Xiaowan wasn't particularly surprised; she had already guessed as much. She just hadn't realized Lance's background was so significant.

"Because I don't want to take over the family business. I want to pursue something I love." Lance lowered his head to look at her, his tone a little shy. "I'll tell you what it is, but you can't laugh at me."

Xiaowan shrugged. "You don't have to tell me. I'm not that interested anyway."

"You—" Lance was so annoyed that he started tickling her sides, making her laugh until tears formed. Gasping for breath, she finally raised her hands in surrender. "I was wrong! I was wrong! Stop! I'm dying! I really, really want to know, handsome!"

Lance bit her lightly on the chin, then sat down on the sofa with her in his arms. After a moment's hesitation, he said, "My dream is to become an actor and win an Oscar with my own talent."

After saying this, he nervously looked at her, afraid she would show signs of ridicule. In the past, he had been laughed at countless times for this dream, whether by his parents or friends. They couldn't understand why he would give up the family business to become a "mere actor."

To them, actors were nothing more than entertainers—a plaything for the wealthy. Even Lance's father, who had invested in the entertainment industry, viewed them as disposable tools.

But when he finished speaking, Xiaowan didn't laugh. Instead, she gently touched his face and asked, "Let me just ask you one question, Lance. Is becoming an actor and winning an Oscar the thing you want most in life?"

Lance couldn't help but nod lightly.

"Then go for it," Xiao Wan said firmly, her gaze unwavering. "My grandmother once told me that a person only feels true happiness when they fight for what they want most. Even if they fail in the end, the journey itself will bring fulfillment and pride. So, to avoid future regrets, go chase your dreams now."

After delivering her serious advice, Xiao Wan switched to a playful tone, adding, "Besides, you're so handsome and always acting aloof—perfect for the screen. If you don't win an Oscar, it just wouldn't make sense—ah…"

Before she could finish, Lance pulled her into a tight embrace.

Softly into her ear, Lance murmured, "I think I might want to change my mind about what I want most."

Xiao Wan smirked, wrapping her arms around his neck, her fingers trailing teasing patterns on his back. "Then go for it. Every time I make a move, you turn me down. Hey, don't tell me you have… issues?"

Lance narrowed his eyes at her, his expression both flustered and amused. Suddenly, he pinned her down on the sofa.

That night marked their first time together.

Yet even in bed, Lance's every move mirrored his table manners: refined and restrained. Xiao Wan, frustrated, bit his shoulder a few times and clawed at his slender waist. "Don't be so gentle! Dominate me! Break me! Devour me!"

Caught between embarrassment and indignation, Lance mustered some courage. He tried to flip her over to kneel on the sofa, but Xiao Wan let out a startled cry. Clutching her half-removed clothes, she leaned back against the sofa, panic written across her face. "No! Not that position!"

Lance froze, puzzled. Just a second earlier, he had noticed something on her bare back—marks or scars, perhaps? He remembered how, on a shopping trip, Xiao Wan had hesitated to buy a Chanel deep-V dress. Back then, he thought she was just reluctant about the price. Now, it seemed there was more to it.

Gently, he softened his tone and moved closer. "Let me see."

"No." Xiao Wan hugged herself tightly, her lips pressed into a stubborn line.

He kissed her face and neck, coaxing her. "Show me. I won't judge you."

"I said no!" Xiao Wan snapped.

"Do you plan to hide your back from me forever?" Lance asked.

"Yes! And who said I want to spend my life with you? Don't get ahead of yourself!" Xiao Wan retorted.

Lance sighed and cupped her face. "But I want to spend my life with you. That's why I want to know everything about you—your joys and your scars. Xiao Wan, let me see."

Her eyes reddened, and after a long pause, she reluctantly turned around, curling up into herself.

Finally, Lance saw her back. It was covered in scars—numerous round, cruel burns that marred her otherwise fair skin. The sight was horrifying and heartbreaking. From their size and shape, it was clear they'd been made with something like a cigarette.

He clenched his fists, fury boiling within him. "Who did this? Tell me, and I'll kill them!"

Xiao Wan rested her chin on her knees and, after a long silence, murmured, "My mother."

Lance's eyes widened in shock. "…What?"

"My mother," Xiao Wan repeated, her voice hollow. "She did it with cigarette butts. Whenever she was upset, she'd punish me like this. She thought she was so clever since no one could see the scars under my clothes."

"Is she insane? How could she do that to her own child?" Lance exclaimed. "Where is she now? Didn't anyone hold her accountable? Someone like that doesn't deserve to be a mother!"

"She's living quite well back in China," Xiao Wan said with a bitter laugh. "To my precious little brother, she's the perfect mom. But to me, she's nothing but a monster."

Lance's heart ached as he wrapped her in his arms. "What can I do for you? Just tell me, and I'll do it."

Xiao Wan, tears welling up, held onto him tightly and whispered, "Just kiss me."

Lance pressed a tender kiss to her lips, trailing down her neck, and despite her protests, kissed the scars on her back. Her body trembled beneath him. He laced his fingers with hers and murmured, "It's okay. I'm here."

After what felt like forever, she relaxed, turned to face him, and kissed him through her tears. They stayed entwined, holding each other until exhaustion overcame them.

Afterward, as they lay together, Lance stroked her hair and said, "I know a brilliant plastic surgeon. She's an expert at scar treatment. Let me take you to see her. I'm sure she can help fade these scars."

Xiao Wan scoffed. "Weren't you the one who said you didn't mind my scars? Changing your tune already?"

"I don't mind them," Lance replied seriously. "Do you remember the Chanel dress you loved but didn't buy? I want you to wear whatever you want without worrying about people seeing your scars."

Xiao Wan stayed silent for a while before nodding slightly.

True to his word, Lance arranged for her to see the surgeon. After two months of treatment, her scars faded significantly, barely noticeable unless closely examined.

Their relationship grew even stronger, inseparable wherever they went.

One evening before Christmas, Lance received exciting news—he'd landed a supporting role in a film! Overjoyed, he couldn't wait to share it with Xiao Wan.

That night, he drove her to a film set several hours away, keeping her eyes covered for the surprise.

"What are you making me see? Are you planning to sell me?" Xiao Wan grumbled as Lance guided her forward.

"Just a little more patience," Lance teased. "Careful, step over this wire."

Finally, he unveiled her eyes. "Remember the movie I told you about? I got the supporting role! Shooting starts the day after tomorrow! You—"

His words stopped abruptly as Xiao Wan's face turned deathly pale.

She stared at the artificial snow-covered set around her. Though it wasn't real, the sight triggered memories she'd buried deep—a dark forest, shadowy figures attacking her, clawing at the ground until her nails tore off, trails of blood, searing pain, and terror.

Xiao Wan stumbled back, panic gripping her. She pulled out the small knife she always carried for protection and yelled at Lance, "Stay back! Don't come near me!"

Lance froze, shocked. "Xiao Wan, what's wrong? Did I say something?"

She shook her head, trembling. "I said stay away!"

Lance cautiously stepped forward. "Tell me what's wrong. Your face… Please, put down the knife. We can talk."

But Xiao Wan was lost in the blurred lines between reality and her haunting memories. When Lance reached for her, she screamed and, in her panic, stabbed him.

As blood spilled from his wound, Xiao Wan's vision cleared momentarily. She saw Lance standing before her, the knife in his abdomen. She gasped, stumbled back, and fell to the ground.

Her hands touched the artificial snow, and she screamed, a piercing sound that echoed in the cold night. She bolted, tears streaming, leaving Lance behind as he struggled to follow her, blood trailing in his wake.

Before he could catch up, his strength gave out, and he collapsed.

Xiao Wan's nightmare ended abruptly. She woke in the dark, gasping for air, her body convulsing violently.

The man beside her, Chen Xin, woke instantly. He switched on the light and saw her trembling uncontrollably, eyes rolled back. He rushed to hold her down, shouting, "Xiao Wan? Xiao Wan!"