Chapter 107: Justin's Choice II

Justin slowly told her Lucius' condition for him to do what he wanted.

"And as you kept watching her performances, you kept adding pressure on yourself, ending with you looking as gaunt as you are now," she concluded after hearing everything.

Justin leaned back in his chair, staring at his empty plate like it held the answers to all his problems. Across from him, Kathrine sipped her drink, watching him with a knowing look.

The restaurant around them was still busy, soft chatter filling the air, but Justin barely noticed. His mind was somewhere else.

"I don't know why I even let myself think I have a chance," he muttered, tapping his fingers against the table.

Kathrine raised an eyebrow, "Against Wynter Morgrave?"

"Who else?" he sighed, slumping forward and resting his chin on his hand.

"I mean, come on. Her technique is flawless. Every single note she plays is like it was pulled straight out of some music textbook labeled Perfection 101. And then there's me, just hoping my emotions will somehow make up for my mistakes."

Kathrine chuckled, "You're making it sound like you're some kind of amateur. You wouldn't be competing if you weren't one of the best. And remind you, you won against her before."

Justin scoffed, "Yeah, one of the best, right behind the best. The only reason I won before is because she made a mistake."

He shook his head, "Seriously, it's like... Miss Morgrave plays with the precision of a machine but without losing the beauty of it. I swear, if someone told me she wasn't human, I'd believe them. I bet even her violin is somehow better than everyone else's. Probably made from the wood of some ancient, magical tree blessed by the gods or something."

All his frustrations were coming out, without him intending to.

It was because someone pushed open the door he tried to close as the pressure kept pushing him down. The door whose other side was his weak self.

It was not something that occurred when he had that talk with Lucius. Instead, it had been accumulating when he found out that he was once again up against Wynter Morgrave. The fact that he won back then due to her mistake, came knocking on this same door and even welcomed itself in.

At first, he thought it would be fine. He won once against her. And he had a lot of wins under his belt.

But the more he tried to study, he couldn't help but look at her performances, and the more he saw the vast difference between them. With the competition being the condition for him to find more things that he could do, things just went haywire.

Kathrine laughed, "Wow, you really are spiraling."

"Spiraling? No, this is just me accepting reality."

He picked up his fork and spun it between his fingers absentmindedly.

"Every time I hear her play, I feel like I've been tricking people into thinking I'm good. I pour my heart into my music, and somehow, it still feels like it's not enough. Like... I'm fighting a battle I already lost before it even started."

Kathrine rested her chin on her hand, watching him quietly for a moment before saying, "You know, just because she's precise doesn't mean she's unbeatable."

Justin opened his mouth.

"Wait."

She raised her hand to stop him from instantly arguing back.

"I am not talking about you winning during our last year in high school. Instead, I am talking about her not having everything either."

Justin snorted, "Oh yeah? And what do I have that she doesn't?"

She smirked, "Personality."

He rolled his eyes, "Great. Maybe I should stand on stage and tell jokes instead of playing the violin."

Kathrine shook her head with a small smile.

"I mean it, Justin. You play with feeling. When people listen to you, they don't just hear the music, they feel it. That's not something you can teach, and it's not something even Miss Morgrave can copy. And that's why you have a chance."

Justin stared at her for a moment, then let out a small chuckle. These were the same words that Wynter Morgrave said to Lucius, which made him more certain of taking Justin under his wing.

And somehow, hearing it from another person who was unaware of that conversation, he couldn't help but feel some confidence returning. Together with Kathrine's confident look.

"You really think so?"

She shrugged, "I know so."

Justin sighed, sitting back in his chair, "Well... I guess I'll just have to make sure they feel it, then."

Kathrine nodded, "Exactly."

For the first time that evening, Justin allowed himself to smile, just a little. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't completely doomed after all.

After that, he walked Kathrine back to her apartment before going to rest himself.

He intended to go back and practice a bit more with his renewed vigor, but Kathrine sternly told him to rest, prompting him to follow her.

After taking a bath, he sat down on his bed, picking up his violin.

Despite the encouragement, he knew he needed more.

He wouldn't pressure himself in the upcoming competition. He would just do his best the way he always did.

But just like how he watched Beatrice bloom in her acting compared to back in high school, he wished to become more.

That was why he wanted to explore more places and find out more about their music. Maybe he could find other ways to express the way he played the violin.

He wasn't looking for some unique way of improving, maybe something that was right in front of him, and he just couldn't see it.

That was why he wanted to explore.

To see more.

"Let's get the best out of this competition," he touched the strings of the violin as he said these words.