Chapter 25

I was back and ready for action. We drank, partied, and threw caution to the wind. Soon after, we all found dance partners and separated. Mine was nice or at least, I think he was in the same state I was. In my intoxicated haze, I would have thought everyone was nice. He continued pumping me with drinks, picking up where my friends had left off, and kept talking to me. He was so funny, though most of what he said I couldn't quite catch. It felt so nice to have the attention of a handsome man.

My dance partner wore a black mask with skulls drawn on it. He was completely shirtless and muscular, with a low-hung pair of jeans. I would have found it weird to watch this party sober people in various states of undress, dancing, and some even having sex on the dance floor. Voyeurism, I think it's called, but nobody seemed to pay it much mind. I doubted anyone outside of this place would recognize each other anyway.

I could only make out my dance partner's unusual shade of green eyes, his hair as dark as night. He stared at me curiously, then reached out and took off my mask, making me gasp. He full-on stared at my completely exposed face. By then, I was already seeing dark spots from the excessive alcohol I'd consumed. Then, he swept me off my feet the way you would a bride and crossed the threshold into the pool. Why I wasn't afraid or panicking was beyond me.

He leaned in and whispered in my ear, "My name is Ethan. Let's get you, enchanting mermaid, into the water." He took powerful strides with me in his bulging, muscular arms. I felt my face completely flame at the raspy quality of his voice. With those words, I was dunked into the water, and an involuntary scream left my lips, followed by giggles, everything felt wonderful, with him following closely behind. "Leila, ever had an orgy before?" he asked.

I nodded absentmindedly, not knowing exactly what he meant and feeling too out of it to care. The fascinating thing was, I hadn't told him my name. I wanted to ask how he knew it, but before I could, he smashed his lips on mine. Somehow, that was the last thing I remembered.

I don't know how long I was out for gosh, I hope I didn't snore. That would have been completely embarrassing. I was shaken awake around 4 AM by Nancy. My bikini or at least what was left of it was completely in shreds, and I was lying across my dark headed villain's chest, totally naked, while he wore only boxers. Embarrassment made me want to crawl into a hole and die, but Nancy seemed completely nonchalant about the sight, as if it was something she was used to.

She pulled me to my feet as if the sight before her wasn't unusual, ignoring my embarrassment and my stuttering attempts to form a coherent explanation. Instead, she handed me my clothes. "Relax, I'm not your mother, and I don't give a shit about whatever you choose to get up to. It's your life, so live it as you very well please."

She could obviously tell I was quite uncomfortable. "For the love of God, Leila, relax. It's alright to have fun. Like I said, I'm not your mom you don't have to explain anything to me. I'm glad you had fun. Everything that happened in there, I have been there, done that, okay? So I'm totally not judging. Outside this place, we won't ever mention it again. Nobody ever does. It's like our dark secret. Tomorrow, it will be like none of it happened, because none of it matters."

I felt grateful but lightheaded, like I had lost a lot of blood. I quickly attributed it to the drinking, but what about my shredded bikini? Did anything happen after the kiss? I was feeling fuzzy and my head was pounding, so I wisely avoided thinking too much about it. My thighs ached, to be honest, but I wanted to attribute it to lying carelessly, no matter how hard i tried to remember what happened, i couldn't remember anything past that kiss 

"Leila, come on, let's go get Diana so we can go home. We have school tomorrow." Obeying, we began searching amidst a sea of bodies passed out in various positions—some even in puke. I shuddered and fought the urge not to throw up. Finally, we found her asleep on an unknown man's chest, fully dressed, unlike me. Gosh, I was so foolish the most foolish of the whole bunch. We quickly shook her awake and helped her get up, stumbling our way to Nancy's car, half-dragging, half-carrying Diana.

My nanny was somehow awake and waiting when we stumbled in. I don't know what gave me the bravery, but for the first time in ten years, we had a shouting match. She got really angry, and I told her to mind her business that she wasn't my mother but the housekeeper, and I was bloody old enough to make decisions for myself, she should actually do the job she was paid to do and go home and quit disturbing and terrorizing my life, . Right now, I was too tired to care about this drama. Together with my friends, who were standing quietly watching the whole exchange, we staggered to my bedroom. The moment my head touched the pillow, I proceeded to sleep the night off, dead to the world until morning.

Honestly, I low-key wished I didn't have school, but unfortunately, I did.

When I woke up the next morning, the harsh light of day brought with it the full force of my hangover. My head throbbed with a relentless intensity, and my stomach churned with the threat of nausea. For a few blissful moments, I lay still, my mind a blank slate. But then, the memories of the night before came rushing back, and with them, a deep sense of regret.

What had I been thinking? Drinking that much, letting myself get so out of control, ending up naked and exposed in front of a stranger I barely even knew, I could almost not recognize myself and then i shouted my housekeeper to scorn which had never happened before, i was usually never one to show off wealth or power. As I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, the enormity of my actions began to sink in. I had crossed a line, one that I had never even realized existed until now.

I slowly pushed myself up, every movement sending fresh waves of pain through my skull. My friends were still asleep, sprawled out in various positions around the room, their breathing deep and even. I envied them envied their ability to let go, to live in the moment without being plagued by guilt and self-recrimination. But I couldn't do that. Not anymore my parents would definitely get involved, Maya would go to them, but maybe it would actually bring them back to their senses to actually do some parenting.

I got up as quietly as I could, careful not to wake them, and made my way to the bathroom. The sight that greeted me in the mirror was almost enough to make me turn away in horror. My hair was a tangled mess, my makeup smeared across my face, and there were dark circles under my eyes that spoke of too little sleep and too much excess.

As I splashed cold water on my face, trying to wash away the remnants of the night, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the price of freedom—if letting go, as Nancy had urged me to do, meant losing a part of myself in the process. I wasn't sure I liked the answer.

When I finally emerged from the bathroom, feeling marginally more human, Nancy was awake, her expression groggy but cheerful. "Morning, sunshine," she greeted me with a yawn. "How are you feeling?"

"Like death warmed over," I admitted, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "But I'll survive."

"Good, because we've got school in an hour," she said, stretching languidly. "And we're going to need a lot of coffee to get through it."

I groaned at the thought of facing the day in my current state, but there was no way around it. I had responsibilities, classes to attend, and a life to live one that felt increasingly like it was spiraling out of control.

As we got dressed and prepared to leave, I couldn't shake the feeling that something fundamental had shifted inside me. The carefree girl who had walked into that club last night was gone, replaced by someone who was a little older, a little wiser, and a lot more uncertain about what the future held.

But as Nancy had said, what happened in that club didn't matter. It was a dark secret, one that would be buried deep and forgotten as soon as the sun rose. And maybe that was for the best.

Yet, as I followed Nancy and Diana out the door, I couldn't help but feel that some secrets were too heavy to stay buried forever and for the life of me, I wondered if i had slept with that dark haired stranger or not and if he even remembered me.