Chapter 28

The next morning dawned with an unusual sense of clarity. I woke up before my alarm, my heart pounding with a mix of anxiety and resolve. Today was the day. I was going to meet Ethan, and somehow, we were going to figure this out. My mind raced with all the things I needed to say, all the ways I needed to explain how I felt trapped, how I couldn't bear the thought of living my life according to someone else's plans.

I got ready quickly, the routine motions helping to steady my nerves. I chose my outfit carefully—something that made me feel confident but not too flashy. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I noticed the dark circles under my eyes, the evidence of sleepless nights spent worrying about my future. I applied some makeup to cover them up, but the hollowness I felt inside couldn't be masked so easily.

Ethan and I had agreed to meet at a small café downtown, far enough from my usual haunts that I wouldn't run into anyone I knew. As I drove there, my mind kept replaying my father's words from the night before. I knew he meant well, that he thought he was doing what was best for me, but it didn't change the fact that his decisions were suffocating me.

I pulled up in front of the café and spotted Ethan sitting at a table by the window. He looked up as I walked in, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Despite everything, I couldn't help but feel a little flutter in my chest. There was something about him that made me feel alive, like I could be anyone I wanted to be when I was with him.

"Hey," he said as I sat down across from him. "You look a little better than last night."

I forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach my eyes. "Thanks," I replied, trying to sound casual. "I guess I just needed some sleep."

Ethan studied me for a moment, his expression softening. "You okay?" he asked, his voice low.

The concern in his eyes was my undoing. I hadn't realized how much I needed someone to care, someone to listen without judgment. Before I knew it, the words started pouring out of me—about my dad, about the suffocating pressure, about how I felt like I was losing myself in the process of trying to live up to everyone else's expectations.

Ethan listened quietly, not interrupting as I laid bare all the fears and frustrations that had been building up inside me for months. It felt like a dam had burst, and I couldn't stop the flood of emotions. When I finally finished, I felt lighter, as though a weight had been lifted off my chest.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like I'm trapped between who I want to be and who everyone else wants me to be."

Ethan reached across the table and took my hand, his touch warm and grounding. "You don't have to figure it all out right now," he said softly. "But you don't have to do it alone, either. I'm here, and I want to help you."

The sincerity in his voice brought tears to my eyes. For so long, I'd felt like I was fighting this battle by myself, but here was someone who genuinely cared, who was willing to stand by me no matter what. I squeezed his hand, grateful for his support even though I wasn't sure how he could help me.

"What can I do?" he asked, his eyes searching mine.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I just... I don't want to go to that college. I don't want to follow the path my dad has laid out for me, but I don't know how to tell him that without ruining everything."

Ethan nodded, thinking. "Maybe you don't have to tell him right away," he suggested. "Maybe you could start by showing him that you can make your own decisions, that you can be responsible and independent. If he sees that you're serious about your future, maybe he'll come around."

His words made sense, but they also filled me with dread. Standing up to my dad wasn't something I'd ever been able to do successfully, and the thought of confronting him about something as big as my future was terrifying.

"What if he doesn't?" I asked, voicing my deepest fear. "What if he never sees it my way?"

Ethan's grip on my hand tightened slightly. "Then you'll have to decide if living your life for him is worth sacrificing your happiness. It's your life, Leila. You get to choose how you live it."

His words resonated with me, echoing the thoughts that had been buried deep in my mind. But hearing them out loud, from someone else, made them feel more real, more attainable. I had the power to choose my own path, even if it meant defying my parents' expectations. The thought was both exhilarating and terrifying.

"I'll think about it," I said finally, my voice stronger than before. "But I need some time."

Ethan smiled, his eyes warm with understanding. "Take all the time you need. I'll be here when you're ready."

We spent the rest of the morning talking about lighter things, the tension slowly ebbing away as we enjoyed each other's company. For a little while, I was able to forget about the looming decisions and just be present in the moment. It felt like a small victory, a reminder that life could still be good, even amidst all the chaos.

When we finally said our goodbyes, I felt a strange sense of peace settle over me. I didn't have all the answers, but I didn't need to—not yet. All I needed was the courage to take one step at a time, to start reclaiming my life piece by piece.

As I drove home, my thoughts were clearer than they'd been in a long time. I knew the road ahead wouldn't be easy, and there would be difficult conversations and painful decisions to make. But I also knew that I wasn't alone. With Ethan's support, and maybe even the support of my friends once I let them back in, I felt like I could face whatever came next.

I arrived home to find the house empty, Maya likely out running errands. I used the quiet to think, really think, about what I wanted and how I could start making that a reality. The first step, I realized, was to stop living in fear—fear of disappointing my parents, fear of losing the life I'd built, fear of the unknown.

I walked upstairs to my room and sat down at my desk. The college applications my dad had insisted I start filled the top drawer, unopened and untouched. I pulled them out and stared at them, the weight of expectation heavy in my hands. Then, with a deep breath, I set them aside and grabbed a fresh piece of paper.

I started writing, not an essay for college, but a letter to my dad. I poured my heart into it, explaining how I felt, how much I loved him and appreciated everything he'd done for me, but also how I needed to forge my own path. I didn't know how he would react, but I knew I had to be honest with him, even if it meant risking his disappointment.

When I finished, I read it over, my heart pounding. It was raw, real, and entirely my own. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start. I folded the letter and placed it in an envelope, addressing it to my dad. I didn't know when I would give it to him, but just knowing that it existed, that I had taken the first step, gave me a sense of control that I hadn't felt in a long time.

As I sat there, a new thought occurred to me. Maybe I didn't have to choose between my parents' expectations and my own happiness. Maybe there was a way to find a balance, to pursue my dreams while still honoring the values they'd instilled in me. It wouldn't be easy, but it was worth trying.

I felt a small flicker of hope, something I hadn't felt in a long time. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep me moving forward. I didn't have all the answers, and I didn't know what the future held, but for the first time, I felt like I was on the right path. And that was enough.

"This is so messed up! Let's just forget this." Nancy's voice cut through the thick silence that had settled over us. "Diana, stop! Pacing won't solve anything. And she can't even remember who the father of her child is. Even if she did, Leila is obviously not ready to have this child. She's too naive and immature. If her parents find out and cast her off, it's over for her."

I stood up suddenly, startling my friends out of their frustrated soliloquies. "Let's stop this.I might have just added weight, I have been meeting up with Ethan , he is a complete gentleman, he said nothing happened that night and I believe him , both my friends stared at me incredibility boldly written on their Faces. "you have been keeping secrets and avoiding us to hang with a man you just met and we had been here worried that something happened to you?" I didn't allow Nancy to continue before I interrupted her, I was trying to keep my father from sending me away, that nipple test or whatever it was you performed on me, Nancy, is no proof that I'm pregnant. Let's have another test a real, scientifically proven one this time."

Nancy looked affronted that I didn't believe her test result, but the fact remained that I was in denial. I would rather believe anything else than that her prediction was true. Suddenly, she seemed to grasp the predicament I was in the fact that I didn't want to believe I was pregnant, that I was still in denial.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Nancy muttered, shaking her head. "My baby is in denial. My method hasn't failed for centuries. It's one of my gifts. I can tell when a woman is pregnant."

She cupped her boobs dramatically, a gesture meant to be humorous, but it fell flat. I shot her a serious look. "Very funny, Nancy. Quit kidding around. This isn't the time for jokes. Centuries? Really? Come on, we're all the same age, and I can promise you none of us have lived past a couple of decades, let alone centuries."

Nancy flushed, suddenly uncomfortable under Diana's sharp gaze. She stammered, "Forget I said that. It must be the stress getting to me. Hang in there, Leila. I'll go to a nearby pharmacy to get you a pregnancy test kit so we can make sure I was correct." Her voice softened. "Hopefully, I'll be wrong, and there's no way you're pregnant."

That didn't calm me at all. In fact, it was now my turn to pace, anxiety clawing at my insides. I prayed, bargaining with any higher power that would listen: If I'm not pregnant, I promise I'll be good. I won't take drugs or alcohol anymore. Please, just let this be a false alarm.

Nancy finally returned with the pregnancy test, and I took it into the bathroom, my hands shaking as I followed the instructions. The minutes that passed while waiting for the results felt like an eternity, my heart pounding in my chest. When I finally looked at the test, my stomach dropped. There were two red lines. I was pregnant.

I sat there in stunned silence, the reality too overwhelming to process. I felt like I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. The panic that had been bubbling under the surface now exploded, washing over me in waves. "Come on, Leila," Diana called out, her voice tense with anticipation. "The suspense is killing us. What's the result?"

Tears welled up in my eyes as I whispered, "I'm pregnant."

My eyes were downcast or I would 

have noticed the glee that passed between my friends, heavy silence fell over the room as the words hung in the air. To think that something that brought so many women joy was bringing me such despair was beyond comprehension. My life felt like a cruel joke. Suddenly, something snapped inside me, and I jumped up from the toilet seat, startling my friends.

"What do you think you're doing?" Nancy asked, her eyes wide with concern.

"I'm exercising," I replied, jumping up and down, my movements frantic and uncoordinated. "I read somewhere that rough exercise can make you lose a baby."

"Oh, don't be so stupid, Leila," Diana snapped, grabbing my arm to stop me. "That only works if you're older and stressed out. It won't work on you now. You're still a teenager."

"You know what? I can't take this anymore," Nancy interjected, her voice edged with frustration. "Just get dressed, Leila. We have to go before you do anything else stupid."

I stared at them, my mind a whirlwind of fear and confusion. "Go where?"

"To a clinic," Nancy said firmly. "We need to confirm this properly. And then we need to figure out what your options are."

I nodded numbly, letting them guide me. The world around me felt distant, like I was watching everything happen to someone else. My mind kept drifting to the countless scenarios that could unfold from this moment, each one more terrifying than the last. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to be a mother. I wasn't ready to face my parents, to tell them I'd messed up my life in such a monumental way.

Nancy and Diana remained silent as we made our way to the clinic. The gravity of the situation weighed heavily on us all. I could feel the tension in the air, but I was too drained to engage with it. My thoughts were scattered, jumping from one panic-inducing possibility to another.

When we arrived at the clinic, the sterile environment only heightened my anxiety. The receptionist handed me a form to fill out, and I stared at it blankly, my mind refusing to focus. Diana took it from me gently and started filling it out herself. I was grateful, too overwhelmed to think straight.

After what felt like an eternity, I was called back to see the doctor. Nancy and Diana waited in the lobby, their faces pale with worry. The doctor was kind, her voice soothing as she explained the procedure. She ran a few tests, and we waited in tense silence for the results. I gripped the edge of the examination table, my knuckles white, my heart thudding painfully in my chest.

When the doctor returned, her expression was serious, but not unkind. "The test results confirm that you are indeed pregnant, Leila," she said gently, her words hitting me like a ton of bricks.

I felt the world tilt beneath me, the reality crashing down all over again. My hands trembled, and I felt like I might be sick. The doctor continued speaking, explaining my options and offering resources, but her words barely registered. All I could think about was how my life had just changed forever in a way I wasn't prepared for.

Somehow, I made it back to the waiting room, my legs feeling like they could give out at any moment. Nancy and Diana stood as soon as they saw me, their faces etched with concern. I didn't have to say anything; they could tell just by looking at me.

We left the clinic in silence, the weight of the situation pressing down on us all. My friends led me back to the car, and as we drove home, the silence between us was thick with unspoken fears and questions. I stared out the window, watching the world pass by in a blur, feeling completely disconnected from it all.

When we finally arrived back at my house, Nancy and Diana turned to me, their eyes filled with worry. "We'll figure this out," Diana said, her voice firm despite the uncertainty that lingered beneath it. "You're not alone in this, Leila."

I nodded, though I didn't have the strength to speak. I was too overwhelmed, too lost in the storm of emotions swirling inside me. They gave me a quick hug before leaving, promising to check in on me later. I watched them go, standing in the doorway, feeling more alone than I ever had in my life.

I walked into the house in a daze, heading straight for my room. I collapsed onto my bed, burying my face in my pillow as the tears finally came. The sobs wracked my body, each one pulling me deeper into the despair that had been building up inside me for hours. I cried until I had no tears left, my body exhausted, my mind numb.

As the hours passed, I lay there in the darkness, trying to make sense of everything. I thought about my parents, about how they would react when they found out. I thought about Ethan, and what his role would be in all of this. But mostly, I thought about the life growing inside me, the tiny being that was now a part of me, whether I was ready for it or not.

The reality of it all was suffocating, but I knew I couldn't avoid it forever. I would have to face it, one way or another. But for now, all I could do was lie there, in the dark, trying to hold on to the small sliver of hope that I could somehow make it through this, that I could find a way to move forward, even if I had no idea how.

As I drifted off to sleep, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of the day, one thought kept echoing in my mind: I wasn't alone. I had my friends, and maybe, just maybe, that would be enough to get me through this.

But I knew the hardest part was still to come. Telling my parents would be like facing a storm I wasn't sure I could withstand. But deep down, I also knew that this was a storm I couldn't avoid forever. One way or another, I would have to confront it.

And I could only hope that when the time came, I'd find the strength to weather it but i knew Nancy would have a solution.