Minjae's dark past

"Teach you? A college kid? How to fight? Are you serious?" Minjae said, leaning back in his chair with a disappointed expression.

Jihoon's cheeks flushed, but he didn't back down. "I'm serious. I want to learn how to protect myself and you too"

Minjae shook his head, his laughter subsiding, though the smile lingered on his lips. "Jihoon, you're not suited to be a thug. You're... soft."

"I'm not trying to be a thug!" Jihoon snapped, leaning forward. "But if Kangwon or someone else comes after you—or me—I want to be able to do something about it. I don't want to be useless!"

Minjae's smile faded slightly as he studied Jihoon's face. His determination was real, his eyes burning with an intensity that Minjae hadn't seen before.

"Why are you so determined to get involved in this?" Minjae asked, his voice softer but serious. "This isn't your world, Jihoon. You don't need to get dragged into it."

"I don't care if it's not my world," Jihoon said firmly. "You've been protecting me for so long, Minjae. I want to be able to protect you too."

Minjae's chest tightened at Jihoon's words. He sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. "You don't know what you're asking for. Fighting, handling a gun—it's not as simple as you think. It takes more than just willpower."

"Then teach me-" Jihoon pressed. "Show me how to do it right."

Minjae shook his head, rubbing his temples. "You're too stubborn to understand...."

Minjae sat back in his chair, his fists trembling as he recounted his story, his voice low and pained. "You think holding a gun is just a tool for protection, Jihoon?" he said, staring hard at the table. "The first time I held one, I thought the same. I told myself it was to defend my life, to protect what mattered—but the truth is, a gun doesn't protect. It destroys more of you and others."

Jihoon flinched as Minjae's fists had slammed against the table earlier, but now he could only sit in stunned silence as Minjae continued.

"Back when I was working with Kangwon, we were dealing with... things I told myself I'd never touch—drugs, dirty money. I thought I could make enough to repay our parents, to make their lives better. I told myself no one would get hurt, but I was a fool."

Minjae's voice cracked, and his gaze darkened. "One deal went south. Another gang ambushed us. I panicked and pulled the trigger. I killed a man that night." He paused, the memory visibly shaking him. "And then, as I stood there, trying to convince myself I had no choice, a little girl ran out from the shadows. She... she ran straight to the body. Her father. She shook him, begging him to wake up. And I just stood there, frozen. That was my doing."

Jihoon's throat tightened as he watched his older brother crumble before him.

"I told myself it was self-defense, that I had no choice," Minjae muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "But that doesn't erase the look in that little girl's eyes. It doesn't take away the guilt of taking someone's father away. A gun teaches you one thing, Jihoon—to take lives. And once you cross that line, you can't go back. No amount of promises or good intentions will ever undo it."

Minjae leaned back, wiping his face and exhaling deeply. "That's why I can't teach you how to hold a gun. I don't want you to carry the same weight I do, Jihoon. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, but I can't let you become like me. I won't."

Jihoon sat there, stunned, his heart aching for the brother who had clearly endured more than he'd ever realized. "I just... I just want to be strong enough to stand by you, Minjae. To help you, not be a burden."

Minjae managed a bitter smile, reaching over to ruffle Jihoon's hair. "You're not a burden. You've never been one. And if you really want to stand by me, promise me one thing—don't let this world change you. Stay the Jihoon I've always known. That's all the strength I need."

Jihoon hesitated for a moment before reaching out, his hand gently resting on Minjae's. His touch was warm, grounding, and it seemed to steady the storm inside Minjae, even if only a little. Jihoon's voice was soft but firm.

"It wasn't your fault, Minjae," he said, his dark eyes meeting his brother's with sincerity. "You didn't mean to hurt anyone. It just... happened. You didn't have a choice."

Minjae let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "I've told myself that a thousand times, Jihoon. But the truth doesn't change. I pulled the trigger. I took someone's life. It doesn't matter if I meant to or not—it's something I can never take back."

Jihoon squeezed his hand gently, his fingers trembling slightly. "Even so... it doesn't make you a monster. You're here now, trying to do better. Doesn't that count for something?"

Minjae's gaze softened as he looked at Jihoon, his expression torn between gratitude and guilt. "I've never forgiven myself," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not for that night, not for running away, and not for dragging you into my mess now."

Minjae hesitated, then added with a hollow laugh, "Sometimes I think I made the right choice, staying away. If I had gotten closer to you and your family, I would've tainted it. Brought all this chaos to your doorstep sooner. But... I miss it, Jihoon. I miss the warmth of having a family. I miss your warmth."

His eyes darkened, a flicker of vulnerability breaking through the walls he had built around himself. "It's so cold, Jihoon. I didn't realize how cold it was until I came back and saw you again."

Jihoon's chest tightened at those words, his heart aching for the brother who had endured so much on his own. "You're not alone anymore, Minjae," he said softly, his thumb brushing against the back of Minjae's hand. "You have me. You'll always have me."

Minjae's lips quirked into a faint smile, though his eyes glistened with unshed tears. For the first time in a long time, he felt a glimmer of warmth cutting through the cold that had consumed him for so many years.

Before Minjae could spiral further into his guilt, Jihoon pushed his chair back and stood. Without a word, he walked over to Minjae, his steps deliberate and his expression soft yet determined. Minjae's eyes widened slightly, confused by Jihoon's sudden movement.

Jihoon leaned down and wrapped his arms around Minjae's head, pulling him close against his chest. The warmth of the embrace was immediate, and Minjae froze for a moment, caught off guard by the gesture.

"Stop blaming yourself," Jihoon murmured, his voice firm but gentle. "You're here now, Minjae. That's all that matters."

Minjae's surprise melted into something softer. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he let himself relax into Jihoon's embrace, his head resting against Jihoon's chest. He closed his eyes, snuggling into the comforting warmth as if trying to soak in every ounce of it.

For a long moment, they stayed like that, the silence between them speaking louder than words. Jihoon's hand came up to gently stroke Minjae's hair, and he whispered, "You're not alone anymore."

Minjae let out a shaky breath, his arms instinctively wrapping around Jihoon's waist. "I didn't realize how much I missed this," he admitted softly, his voice muffled against Jihoon's chest.

Jihoon smiled faintly, his heart tightening with emotion. "Then don't push me away anymore. I'm here for you, Minjae."

Minjae clung to him a little tighter, his voice trembling as he whispered back, "I won't. Not anymore."

Minjae sat up abruptly, his hands reaching out to gently cradle Jihoon's face. His thumbs brushed against Jihoon's cheeks as he gazed into his eyes, a mix of gratitude, longing, and something deeper flickering in his expression.

"Jihoon," Minjae murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, "I can't hold back anymore."

Before Jihoon could respond, Minjae leaned in, capturing his lips in a deep, fervent kiss. The warmth of it stole Jihoon's breath, and for a moment, he froze in shock. But Minjae didn't pull away; his kiss was firm yet tender, pouring out all the emotions he had kept buried for so long.

Jihoon's heart raced as he slowly melted into the kiss, his hands gripping the edge of Minjae's shirt for support. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate, stolen moment.

When Minjae finally pulled back, his breath was uneven, his forehead resting gently against Jihoon's. "I'm sorry" he said softly, his voice trembling. "I couldn't keep pretending."

Jihoon stared at him, his face flushed and his mind spinning. "Minjae…" he began, his voice shaky, but he couldn't find the words.

Minjae's lips curled into a faint smile, his eyes searching Jihoon's for any hint of regret. "You don't have to say anything," he whispered, his thumb brushing over Jihoon's bottom lip. "Just… let me stay by your side."

Jihoon swallowed hard, his emotions a swirling storm, but one thing was clear—Minjae's presence felt like home.