How do psychopaths wake up a fainted woman? (1)

Alice hadn't exactly thought things through when she decided to faint. It had been a spur-of-the-moment decision—a desperate attempt to stall for time. But now, sitting stiffly in the backseat of a car parked in front of Hades' place, she was questioning every life choice that had brought her to this point.

Peeking through her lashes, she spotted Hades in the front seat, legs crossed like he owned the universe, a cigar dangling lazily between his fingers. Smoke curled around him like a bad movie villain introduction. All the car doors were open, and the night air reeked of smoke and questionable life decisions.

If they were alone, it would have at least been better. She could look for a way to slip out and run for her life. But no—luck was never on her side.

While a lady had taken the dog, they called Devil to put him away where he belonged, there were three other men loitering around the car.

Leaving her with four ignorant psychopaths.

Yes. They were psychopaths.

Judging from the kind of conversation they had around her.

She kind of understood why Hades was the way he was simply by hearing the way the people around him reasoned.

"Should we stab her to wake her up, Boss?" came a voice from outside the car. It was the chef, Rowan.

He sounded like that was the best idea he could think of in his head.

Alice's body tensed so hard she nearly ruined her fainting act. Stab her?

Thankfully, another voice interjected, calm but exasperated. "Why are you so obsessed with stabbing people?" Milo, the driver, asked. He sounded like he had resigned himself to being the only reasonable adult in this circus.

Finally. Alice almost wanted to shout a thank you in agreement, but she remained limp, playing her fainting role for dear life as she thought about how to escape. But there were no serious plans coming forth.

"Milo's right. Control your temper, Rowan." Hades voice chimed in, quiet.

Ah! Alice almost snorted. Control your temper?

What a grand hypocrite. Wasn't this the same man who had just stabbed someone in public and looked and looked like he was going to snap her neck if she hadn't thought of the genius idea to faint? Pot, meet kettle.

"Sorry, Boss," Rowan muttered before asking genuinely, "How do we wake up a fainted woman?" He turned to face Gavin. "Any ideas, Gavin?"

Gavin?

GAVIN!?

She had heard his voice outside the steakhouse. She remembered him from her wedding. The way he looked like he was ready to shoot someone, the way he sounded when he read the vow and also what Suzy had said, "You think that gun is for show."

Was he seriously the one they were asking for advise???

Milo chuckled. "Please, Gavin wouldn't know how to wake up a woman even if his life depended on it."

Gavin frowned, his deep, ominous voice cutting through the night. "Joke's on you," he declared confidently. "Because I know just how."

Silence fell over the group.

For some reason, Alice could swear on her life that this guy had no idea what he was talking about, but she thought maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Do not judge a book by the cover—

Then Gavin spoke again, deadpan. "Have Devil bark right in her ear."

And for some weird reason, his tone sounded like he was proud of himself.

Alice's internal monologue screeched to a halt as soon as she heard that.

The mental image of Devil, the massive, murderous dog, barking her straight into the afterlife flashed in her mind. Her survival instincts screamed at her to leap up and sprint into the night, but she forced herself to stay perfectly limp.

Crazy bastard.

Scratch that. She was absolutely judging this book by its cover.

They were all crazy.

Milo sighed, shaking his head. "You don't treat women like that. That's probably why you guys have never dated anyone—ever. And you're all almost in your 30s."

Even Alice who had never dated anyone either felt like these people were a lost cause.

It was very obvious they were all single. And it seemed like they were all going to remain single for the rest of their lives.

Gavin's brow furrowed, clearly offended. He was usually the type to express his thoughts with violent action rather than words, and it seemed like he was about to do so now with the way he shifted.

But Rowan stepped in, his voice laced with smugness. "We might be single, but at least we're better-looking and have actual style compared to you, Milo." He snorted, then added with a straight face, "Are you sure she didn't faint because she saw your ridiculous outfit?"

Alice fought the overwhelming urge to peek. Ridiculous outfit? How bad are we talking? The curiosity was real, but self-preservation kept her perfectly still. Not even a loud breath.

Milo yelled in outrage, startling her. "How dare you? You understand nothing of fashion! What a disgrace!"

Rowan snorted. "Fashion? Don't kid yourself. That mess you're wearing is probably the reason you've been single your entire life."

"And what's wrong with being single?" Milo's nose flared in indignation.

"You were the one who used it as an insult first!"

Alice almost wanted to agree with the guy.

This Milo also seemed like he had a problem in his brain.

Milo scoffed. "At the end of the day, it's about what's up here." He tapped his temple smugly. "Even the boss has never dated anyone, but he is—"

The words hung in the air when Hades's sharp gaze turned to them, and they all stood still.

A dark glare settled over his face as he reminded the idiots in a low voice. "I am married."

The men blinked in unison as if their brains collectively short-circuited.

Rowan furrowed his brows. "Since when— Oh... right! You had that, uh... flash marriage thing with her yesterday." He pointed at Alice.

The rest of them nodded in unison, as though this revelation was a profound truth they should have remembered.

O. M. G.

They were all really stupid.

"So what do we do about the little boss now?" Milo asked, this time, he seemed to be careful with his words.

Rowan's eyes gleamed with sudden determination. "Boss," he declared dramatically, "permission to punch her face."

Alice's eye twitched. Seriously...

What the hell was wrong with these men????!