Chapter 63

Rea's POV

It's been so long since I've seen a ray of sunlight. I've been shrouded by darkness and silence. I'm not sure what day it is or what's going on in the world. I just didn't want anything. My life is doomed anyway, so it doesn't make sense for me to do anything. I was like a living corpse. It would have been better if I had just died instead, but I can't. I don't even have the strength or courage to do that. I was just trash.

That day kept saying in my mind over and over again, I became trapped in it like a loop. The fear in her eyes, her screams for help and I just did nothing. I let them take her away. I did it to save my own skin. I thought that it was the right thing to do at that time, but I realized that I wasn't fucking thinking straight. I didn't do such a despicable thing to her just to save myself. How could I just live my life like nothing happened? Why did I do it?

Questions swarmed my mind and I knew the answers. I just didn't want to admit it because it would prove what a monster I am. I let them hurt her. I should have protected her but I didn't and now she is dead. She is gone. Thinking about Mia made me cry. She deserved better. The goddess wronged her for giving me as her mate. What was she thinking? Come to think of it, she did me wrong as well.

It all started when that girl came. She is the one who jinxed everything. Had she just stayed wherever she is from, things would have been in place. I might have been Blake's mate and Mia would have found someone worthy of her as well. That didn't happen and everything went down hill from there.

My thoughts were disrupted by a knock on the door. I didn't answer as the person kept knocking. It was probably my cousin, Josh. When I ran away that night, I knew that everything would be destroyed. My heart told me to run straight to Blake and let me know everything that happened, but my mind didn't let me. I decided that I wouldn't take the risk. I had to save myself. It was truly selfish and foolish of me.

" Open the door, Rea. You need to eat okay. This is getting out of hand. I can't have you dying at my place. Come on man! You are killing me!"

Food. I could hardly eat. I don't remember the last time I had a proper meal. I tried to eat but I just couldn't keep it down for long. After a while, it got better, but I just couldn't eat too much. I dragged myself out of bed and walked towards the door. I opened it and I found a tray of food on the floor as usual.

Moving was a hassle and I really didn't feel like it, but if I didn't do as Josh says, he threatened to call my parents and tell them where I am and that would ultimately lead to Blake finding out where I am. I can't have that. I am not ready to face him. I can't face him and his hatred. If I do, it will push me over the edge. I can't face him after everything I did.

I sighed and took the tray, closing the door. I put the tray on the bed and just stared at it. I don't know for how long, but I ended up eating everything there like a hungry beast. I sat down waiting for it all to come back but nothing did. I seemed my stomach was settled. I took the tray back out and went right back to sleep.

I was dreaming. It was all dark. I could see hands and stuff but the surrounding space was dark. Did I die? I thought to myself. It was the only thing I could think of. This might be hell. But suddenly someone appeared in front of me. That startled me, but that turned into shock. The person in front of me was Mia. She was glaring at me with her cold dead eyes. I have never seen her looking like that. What was she doing here?

" M-Mia.."

" Why did you leave me?" She said as calmly as she could. I had no words. I couldn't move or say anything to her. How is this possible? What is happening right now? I was so confused. I slowly reached my hand to touch her but as soon as I was about to reach out to her, she faded. What the hell!

" Tell me why!" I heard her voice from behind me. Her appearance wasn't stable. She kept appearing here and there, I couldn't keep up. It was driving me crazy as she kept accusing me of leaving her behind. Her restful voice was getting to me.

" Please stop! I am begging you to stop! I'm sorry, Mia. It's all my fault. I was wrong. I shouldn't have left you there. I was wrong. It's my fault. Forgive me... please."

I was on my knees, sobbing and begging for Mia's forgiveness. I was regretful. I really was, but it's too late now. I couldn't turn back time now. It was too late for everything.

I felt a cold feeling on my cheek. She was in front of me, smiling as her hand caressed my cheek. I wanted to say something to her. I needed to say something but I couldn't. I couldn't speak again. All I ever did was push her away. I hated that she was my mate and not her brother. I blamed her for it all. I hurt her the most and I couldn't do anything to undo all the things I did and said to her.

Even now, all I could do was cry. I cried my eyes out in her cold embrace. I hope she will feel how deeply sorry I was. I hate myself for it. I hope wherever she is she finds it in her heart to forgive me.

I woke up gasping for air. I looked around, and I saw that I was in the room. It was a dream. Just a dream, I thought to myself as I calmed down. I felt wet on my face only to realize that it was my tears. I was crying in my sleep. I laid back down. That dream felt so real.

I spent the next hours just thinking about everything and I finally came to a conclusion. My life is fucked and at the moment, it feels like everything is over. Seeing Mia like that made me realize one thing. I can't keep running. I fucked up, and somehow I have to fix it. I have to try and make things right. I have to try even though I don't know how or what to do. I'll figure it out somehow.

Those were my thoughts before I drifted off to sleep once more.