The Great Training Fiasco

Kaion stretched his arms above his head as he walked into the training field, already half-dreading what was coming. Grin had insisted that today's training was going to be "epic"—a word that, in Kaion's experience, often meant "disastrous."

Raya was already there, warming up with some flashy kicks that were way too much for a casual morning stretch. "Hey, Kaion, you ready to be embarrassed today?" she called out with a grin that could only mean she was about to show off.

"I was born ready to be embarrassed by you," Kaion shot back, giving her a thumbs up. "But today, I'm feeling generous. I'll let you win."

She threw a punch at him, but he dodged with ease. "Right, right. Keep telling yourself that."

"Maybe I should be the one training today," Grin chimed in from the sidelines. He was wearing a ridiculously oversized helmet that looked like it came from a medieval knight's yard sale. "I'm practically a genius, you know. I could teach you both the fine art of being perfectly fabulous."

Kaion and Raya both turned to him at the same time, giving him their best "seriously?" look.

"Okay, okay," Grin said, holding up his hands defensively. "Maybe I'm not great at the whole fighting thing, but you can't deny my charisma. I'm basically a battle magnet."

"More like a disaster magnet," Kaion muttered under his breath. Grin, of course, heard it.

"I'll have you know," Grin began, puffing out his chest, "I was trained by the most prestigious masters of disguise. And now," he paused dramatically, "I will teach you the ancient art of evading battle entirely. You know, the secret technique known only to the great Grin."

"Oh boy," Raya groaned. "Here we go."

"Everyone thinks fighting is about strength," Grin said, pacing in front of them like he was about to drop a world-changing truth. "But in reality, it's about running away so fast that the enemy can't catch you."

"Wait, what?" Kaion blinked. "So your 'training' is… running away?"

"Not just running," Grin clarified. "It's strategic retreating. I'll teach you how to run so well, even your enemies will applaud you."

Raya was already looking at Kaion with a raised eyebrow. "Are we really doing this?"

"You have no idea how strategically important this is," Grin continued, now pacing in front of them. "You need to master the art of being so evasive that your enemies will forget they even wanted to fight you. They'll be like, 'Who's that? Oh, it's just Grin, the guy who's so fast, even the wind can't catch him.'"

Kaion stared at Grin for a moment, then burst into laughter. "Okay, okay. You've convinced me. Teach me your ways, oh wise one."

Grin bowed dramatically. "Ah, yes. It begins with the pre-emptive dodge. Watch closely."

Grin did the weirdest series of movements Kaion had ever seen. He hopped in place, spun in a circle, and then crouched low to the ground like a frog preparing to leap. "This is the key," he said, straightening up and offering them both a look of sheer seriousness. "You've got to be so unpredictable that your enemies are left confused. They won't know if they're fighting a warrior or a wind-up toy."

Kaion and Raya exchanged confused glances, but they both played along, pretending to take notes in the air with their hands.

"So, what's next, Sensei Grin?" Raya asked, clearly trying to hide the grin that was threatening to break out on her face.

"The next step," Grin said with great gravitas, "is the distraction technique. You've got to confuse the enemy with random nonsense." He reached into his bag and pulled out an orange. "Here, watch." He threw the orange straight up into the air.

"Uh, Grin?" Kaion said, "I'm pretty sure the enemy isn't going to get distracted by a fruit."

"You're not thinking big enough, Kaion," Grin said with an exaggerated eye roll. "It's not just any fruit. It's an orange. And when they're distracted, you've already won."

The orange plummeted back down and hit Grin square on the head, causing him to stagger dramatically. He gasped in faux-shock and clutched his forehead. "See? That's how you confuse your enemies. Now they'll be thinking, 'What just happened? Why did an orange fall from the sky? Is this some sort of divine intervention?'"

Raya snorted. "That's your battle strategy? We're going to confuse the Voidbringer with oranges?"

"Exactly!" Grin said, as though that was the most reasonable plan in the world. "When in doubt, just throw random things at them! Trust me, it works. I've never lost a battle after confusing my opponents with fruit."

Kaion couldn't hold back any longer. He was laughing so hard, he nearly fell over. "You're unbelievable, Grin."

"That's because I'm incomparable," Grin replied with a smug grin. "Now, let's move on to the final step: the strategic flailing."

"Wait, there's more?" Raya asked, clearly skeptical.

"Oh, there's always more," Grin said, eyes sparkling with mischief. He began flailing his arms in every direction like a windmill caught in a hurricane. "This is the secret to overwhelming your opponent with sheer chaos. They won't know which way to dodge because you're everywhere at once! It's the ultimate unpredictability!"

"You've lost me completely," Kaion said between fits of laughter.

"Don't worry," Grin said, suddenly serious. "This will work. When the Voidbringer shows up, I'll just run circles around him, throw a fruit at his head, and then flail like a madman. He won't know what hit him!"

"Uh-huh," Kaion said, wiping his eyes. "I'll be sure to record this so that future generations can laugh at your genius."

Raya punched Kaion in the arm. "We're going to survive the Voidbringer's wrath by laughing him out of existence? Are we sure we're not just playing into his hands?"

"Well," Grin said, looking thoughtful, "if we don't survive, at least we'll have had a good laugh, right?"

And so, the great battle plan was made. The fate of the universe would rest on three people, one ridiculously oversized helmet, and a fruit-based distraction strategy that would either make history... or get them all killed.