My Glorious Rise to Rank 1

Alright, it's time to kickstart my rise to the top. I've been a disciple for a while now, and let's face it-I'm still embarrassingly bad at pretty much everything. I can barely manage the basics of mana manipulation, and just yesterday, someone kindly pointed out that I've been holding my sword upside down during sparring.

Today, I overheard some higher-ups whispering about a "secret mission." Now, do I have any idea what this mission is about? Of course not. But if there's even the tiniest chance it could pull me out of this swamp of mediocrity, I'm in.

So, I do what any genius would do: I stroll up to the head disciple, mid-conversation, and casually blurt out, "Hey, what's the secret mission?"

He glares at me like I just insulted his ancestors. "That's none of your business, idiot."

Fair enough. Time for Plan B. I vaguely recall a rumor about a legendary herb in the forest, said to massively boost dual cultivation. Do I know anything about herbs? Not really. But I've seen people make potions, so how hard could it be?

"Oh, you mean the Moonlight Herb?" I say, trying to sound like an expert. "Yeah, I know all about that. I could help the sect leader get his hands on it, no problem."

The head disciple narrows his eyes at me, clearly debating if I'm serious or just insane. Finally, he shoves a map into my hands. "Fine. Go find it. If you come back alive, maybe you'll actually be useful for once."

"Sure thing!" I grin, pretending I'm not already regretting every life choice that led me here.

With the map clutched tightly, I venture into the forest like a man on a mission. Thirty minutes in, I'm completely lost. The map? Useless. My sense of direction? Think Zoro.

But then, amidst the endless greenery, I spot it-a glowing plant with shiny leaves. This has to be it! The legendary Moonlight Herb!

I grab the radiant plant with all the confidence of someone who has no idea what they're doing and march back to the sect, holding it high like I've just discovered the Holy Grail.

The head disciple takes one look and sighs. "This is just some random weed. What the hell are you doing, idiot?"

I blink. "No, no, this is definitely it. Look at the glow!"

He glares, then pauses, examining the plant more closely. "Wait... this is actually useful for one of our potions." He pinches the bridge of his nose like he's in physical pain. "Fine. Maybe you're not a complete waste of resources. You can join the sect's missions. Sigh… why am I so generous today?"

Taking out a pen, he scribbles a recommendation letter, but his handwriting is so atrocious it makes a pharmacist's notes look like calligraphy.

Wait… why is he being so nice? Did he get laid or something? Whatever. It's time for My Glorious Promotion!

Somehow, I've done it. I didn't find the Moonlight Herb, but I've still managed to be helpful. I rush to the Hall of Records, the recommendation letter practically burning a hole in my pocket. This is it-the moment I rise above being "that idiot who sweeps the floors."

The clerk at the desk looks up as I approach, his expression screaming, "I don't get paid enough for this." I hand him the letter, doing my best to look confident.

He glances at it, mutters something under his breath, and looks me over like he's deciding whether or not to laugh. "So, this is the guy, huh?" he says to no one in particular. Then, louder: "Alright, you're eligible to take sect missions now."

A big grin spreads across my face. Finally! Promotion! Recognition! I'm on my way to greatness!

Then he slides a small parchment across the desk. "Rank 1. That's your rank."

My grin falters. "Rank 1?" I repeat, hoping I misheard. "You mean… the very bottom?"

"Yep," the clerk replies, deadpan. "Be glad you even got that. Rank 1 is where everyone starts. You can take missions now, but don't expect anything exciting. It's all grunt work."

I stand there, holding the parchment like it's both a blessing and a curse. Rank 1. It sounds so... unimpressive. But hey, it's still better than sweeping floors, right?

As I leave the Hall of Records, the weight of Rank 1 settles over me like a wet blanket. It's not glamorous, it's not exciting, and it's definitely not what I had in mind when I pictured my rise to greatness.

But it's a start. And if there's one thing I've learned today, it's that I can turn even the dumbest situations into something useful. Probably.