The Pulse of Failure

I was deep in concentration, my body rigid, every muscle straining as I tried to sync my mana pulse with my breathing. Inhale, exhale sounds easy, right? Yeah, no. It felt like trying to juggle fireballs while blindfolded.

Closing my eyes again, I focused harder. The pulse was there, faint and stubborn, like the heartbeat of something slightly... alive. But syncing it? That was like forcing a square peg into a vortex of pure chaos.

"Are you even trying?" my teacher's voice cut through my focus like a knife.

I cracked open one eye to glare at him. "Yes, I'm trying. It's just not as easy as you make it sound."

He gave me a blank look. "It's not complicated. Breathe. Let the mana follow."

Gritting my teeth, I dove back in. Inhale. Exhale. Pulse. It was still there, faint, slightly out of sync, but there.

This time, I tried relaxing. Maybe I was too tense? But as soon as I loosened up, the mana scattered like a panicked squirrel.

I groaned, slumping in frustration. "This is ridiculous. I'm definitely doing it wrong."

"Of course you are," he said casually. "But you're learning. Probably."

I rubbed my forehead. "Why does this feel so... off?"

He leaned against the table, arms crossed. "Because you're forcing it. Mana isn't something you conquer-it's something you harmonize with. A conduit, not a king."

I scowled. "I'm not rushing. I just-ugh-it's frustrating, okay? I'm trying not to screw this up for once in my life."

"Mm-hmm," he said, unimpressed.

His words stung, but somehow, they also lit a fire under me. I wasn't about to quit. Not again.

"Alright," I muttered, rubbing my temples. "One more time."

"Good choice. Remember, magic isn't a race. You'll get there... eventually."

I ignored the dig and closed my eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Pulse. There it was again, faint but steady. This time, I leaned into it, not fighting, just... flowing. And for the first time, the rhythm clicked-just a little.

"I think I got it," I said, a shaky smile tugging at my lips.

My teacher didn't respond immediately. Finally, he let out a small sigh. "Yeah, I guess you did."

It wasn't perfect, but it was progress. For once, I wasn't just waiting for failure.

"Alright," he said, smirking. "Let's see if you can keep it up. No pressure, though. I'll just be here, watching you fail miserably."

"Wow. Thanks," I said dryly. "What would I do without your encouragement?"

"Fail harder," he replied with a grin. "But hey, you're learning. Eventually, you might even do something with your life."

I shot him a look but couldn't help the small smile forming. "I'll work on it."

"Good. But don't get comfortable. We've barely started."

Closing my eyes again, I felt the pulse align just a little more. I wasn't there yet-not by a long shot. But for the first time, I believed I might actually get somewhere.

And as the seconds passed, the rhythm began to hum steadily. Maybe, just maybe, this wasn't as hopeless as it had seemed.