Not So Unexpected Encounter

Alright, you're probably wondering how I ended up in this prison. Trust me, I'm asking myself the same thing. But for you to get the full story, let's rewind a bit.

The journey to the nearby town was supposed to be uneventful. Key word: supposed.

It started off fine enough. Birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and I was congratulating myself for getting an important mission.

Then I looked at the map Elder Wei had given me. It looked like the work of a drunk cartographer: squiggly lines, random symbols, and what I swear was a doodle of a smiley face.

"Great," I muttered, holding it up to the light as if that would magically reveal the right path. "Do I go left or right? Flip a coin, I guess."

I chose left, which was probably my first mistake.

About an hour in, I started to feel uneasy. The forest was quieter than it should've been. No birds, no wind, just… silence.

That's when I heard rustling in the bushes. My grip on the scroll tightened. Bandits?

Out hopped a rabbit. A really big rabbit. With glowing red eyes.

"Why me?" I groaned, already regretting everything about this trip.

The rabbit growled-yes it growled and then it charged at me.

In a panic, I grabbed the nearest rock and hurled it. To my surprise, it hit the rabbit square between the eyes. The oversized bunny squealed, shot me a murderous glare, and bolted into the bushes.

"That's right! Fear me, overlord the rabbit's!" I yelled, pretending my knees weren't shaking.

Dusting myself off, I carried on down the path, only slightly traumatized. But hey, at least I survived, right?

Wrong.

About ten minutes later, I reached a clearing and stopped to rest. That's when I noticed someone or rather, someones-watching me.

"Well, well," a hoarse voice said. "What do we have here?"

Out stepped a group of bandits, weapons gleaming in the sunlight.

"Hand over the scroll, kid," the leader growled, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, no thanks," I replied, clutching the scroll tighter. Elder Wei will kill me if I lose this thing!

The bandits weren't amused. They stepped closer, their smirks practically screaming, We're about to ruin your day.

My options were bleak: run or fight. Running wasn't ideal-I'm not exactly built for speed. Fighting? I'd need a miracle.

"Alright, fine," I said, stalling for time. "But just so you know, I'm not exactly the kind of protagonist who wins in these situations."

The leader snorted. "No kidding. This is going to be fun."

I glanced around for a weapon. A rock? Too far. A stick? Too flimsy. Think, Amon, think!

In desperation, I reached into my bag and pulled out… a muffin. Yep, a muffin. Squashed, stale and a bit burnt, it was the last remnant of my half-hearted attempt to "prepare" for this mission.

Without thinking, I hurled it at the nearest bandit.

Splat.

It hit him square in the face.

There was a long, awkward silence as the bandit slowly wiped muffin crumbs off his nose.

"Did you… just throw a muffin at me?" he asked, his voice dripping with disbelief.

"Uh… maybe?" I said, taking a hesitant step back.

Spoiler alert: muffins don't deter bandits.

Cut to now: I'm tied up in their hideout, staring at the ceiling and questioning every decision that led me here.

But fear not! This isn't over. You see, I have a hair clip. Yep, a single hair clip. And if I've learned anything from questionable novels, it's that heroes can escape anything with the right tools.

Time to put that theory to the test. Let's get out of here.