Chapter 31:

I don't remember walking back.

One moment, I'm standing in the garden, my body stiff with cold, my heart beating too fast, my ears ringing with the sound of his voice.

"It's already enough that you got rid of her parents. You don't have to get rid of her too."

My uncle.

My uncle killed my parents.

The next moment, I'm inside, standing in the warm glow of the house. I barely register the change. I barely register anything.

A voice reaches me, but it's muffled, like it's coming from underwater.

"Lilah?"

Another voice. Urgent. Concerned. A hand grabs my wrist.

I don't react.

I don't move.

I can't move.

More hands touch me—my arms, my shoulders. The voices grow more frantic, but I can't hear them. I can't hear them.

There's too much noise in my head.

"Got rid of her parents."

"You don't have to get rid of her too."

I pull my wrist free, turn, and start walking.

I don't know where I'm going, but my feet do.

I climb the stairs, one slow step at a time. The world is a blur, a dull haze pressing in around me.

Somewhere behind me, more voices call my name.

I don't stop.

I reach the guest room and push the door open. The moment I step inside, my legs give out. I stumble to the bed and collapse onto it, curling onto my side.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

Breathe.

Just breathe.

But the moment I do, the past comes rushing back.

The room smelled like strawberries that day. My mother's favorite. The scent clung to the sheets, to the curtains, to her skin as she lay there, still and pale, her lips slightly parted.

I was too young to understand then. Too young to question.

They told me it was suicide. That she had been grieving. That my father's death had broken her.

I believed them.

I believed them because it made sense. Because it was easier than questioning why my mother, who had tucked me into bed every night and kissed my forehead, would suddenly leave me alone in the world.

But now…

Now I know.

Now I see.

It wasn't grief that killed her.

It was murder.

It was a fucking murder and the murderer was none other than her brother. Why? He had absolutely no reason to kill her. She already stepped down from her position as Alpha and handed it to him on a golden platter.

What were his motives?

The bed shifts. A hand touches my shoulder.

"Lilah…"

I barely hear Cassidy.

The mattress dips beside me. Another touch, this time firmer. "Lilah, talk to me."

I can't. My chest is tight. Too tight. I can't even breathe freely.

I force out the only words I can manage.

"I need to sleep."

She's quiet for a moment. Then, instead of leaving, she lies down beside me.

Her warmth seeps through the blankets, but it does nothing to chase away the cold inside me.

I try to sleep to ease off the grief and the voices in my head. Sleep comes hard, but I guess I eventually nod off because when I open my eyes again, sunlight is streaming through the curtains.

For a moment, I forget where I am.

Then the memories hit.

I sit up too fast. My head spins.

The bed beside me is empty.

Cassidy must have gone to her own room.

I swing my legs over the side, rubbing my temples. Outside the window, the sun is already high in the sky.

Panic grips me.

Breakfast is over.

I'm late.

Caspian is going to kill me.

I shove aside the grief clawing at my chest and hurry out of the room.

At the bottom of the stairs, I nearly crash into Cassidy and Alma. They both stop abruptly, their expressions shifting from surprise to concern.

"Lilah dear, what happened last night?"

I force a smile, but it feels wrong on my face. "Nothing. I just overslept."

"That's not what I asked," the older woman says, reaching for my arm. "You came in last night like you'd seen a ghost. We couldn't get a word out of you."

Cass crosses her arms. "You're still pale. And you look like you barely slept. Are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I have to drag it out of you?"

I shake my head quickly. "It's nothing, really. I just—" I glance at the clock on the wall. My stomach drops. "Caspian is going to kill me."

She groans. "You and that job."

Her mother sighs. "I don't like this, puppy. Something is wrong with her."

She gives me a long look. I can see the worry in her eyes, but I can't deal with that right now.

"I'm fine," I insist, plastering on another fake smile. "I just need to get to the pack house before he—"

She throws up her hands. "Fine. Let's go before he actually kills you. We're both heading there so we'll give you a ride."

"Alright."

"Do you want to maybe grab an apple? You're too pale," Alma suggests. 

I shake my head and smile. "I'm fine, really."

The ride to the pack house is silent.

I stare out the window, gripping the seatbelt so tight my knuckles turn white.

As soon as we arrive, I don't waste a second. I slip out of the car and head straight inside, my heart pounding.

I need to find Theo.

I need to confront him.

I search the halls, the garden, anywhere I think he might be, my mind racing with all the things I want to scream at him.

How could he?

How long has he known?

Did he—did he help?

But as I ask around, my stomach sinks.

He's gone.

Apparently, he left early this morning.

I stand there, numb.

Of course he's gone. He has already accomplished what he wanted. He's found me and he wasn't too thrilled that I wasn't going to head back with him. 

He had no more business here.

My hands tremble as I turn away, barely noticing the way people step out of my path.

I make my way to Caspian's room.

At least there, I can focus. I can breathe.

I push open the door, relieved to find it empty.

No scolding. No questions.

Just silence.

I exhale shakily and step inside, shutting the door behind me.

Then, for the first time since last night, I allow myself to break. Sobs rake through my body. I cry for my father. The man I never knew. 

My mother and her sweet smiles, stories and delicious Sunday cookies...the woman that loved me unconditionally. She was my world when she was alive and when she died, everything came crashing down.

There's a pain knowing that she would have still been here if Rowan hadn't done anything. She could still be here, but she was taken away. Stolen from me.

Did she know her younger brother killed her mate? That he was the reason she cried every night?

Did she know that before she died?