Moments of doubt

I looked around and saw a great castle, the stone walls covered by ivy, the ten towers surrounding it, where my subordinates were meant to be, all empty. The castle had long since become an ancient ruin.

I walked over to the entrance and opened the gate that was big enough to hold a fully grown dragon inside. And we grow to extraordinary heights. As the gate opened, I first noticed the red carpet that had been painted by dust and had now turned gray. Then the throne appeared, the gold had lost its shine, and it didn't have the same feeling of fear.

But there was something that contributed to the throne's lack of influence. On the throne sat the bones of a giant dragon, his scales had crumbled into dust and invaded the clean air, and his muscles had been eaten up by the bugs lurking around in the darkness, waiting for prey to devour.

'This couldn't be...' But there was no way it wasn't, the castle was the same from the outside and inside, and I also had a sensation of nostalgia as I walked on the red carpet.

'This was my deceased corpse.' But how was it here, Im sure I sealed myself along with my powers, so how was my body still sitting on the throne my life was taken. 

But as I was deep In thought, I saw a bright light in the darkness, and then I felt like someone was talking to me inside my mind. 

"It's been a long time..." Hearing this voice, I recognized it as my brother, but that wouldn't be possible as he didn't have such skill, so it had to be a trick. But I couldn't investigate more because...

[You have exited the amount of time you're allowed to use a copied skill. Deleting skill...]

The sound of the system whispering in my ear woke me up from my dream. How annoying exactly when I was getting to the good part.

'Deleting skill huh, well it wasn't like I would ever use it again.' 

By my guess, after evolving into [Pawn Of Adaptability] I can use my copied skill for about a day, which is really bad, but it will have to do. 

'Wait what did I want to do today? Oh yeah... it was time for The Core.'

I said while I felt a shiver run down my spine. Did I really want to do this? Living in The Core as a beast is hard enough, but as a human it's impossible. Yet millions have done it, so I should be alright. 'If some humans can do it, why can't.' 

I said while getting up from the place I had slept through the night. A hammock left out by some humans, though I doubt anyone lived here anymore, as they would have noticed me by now.

I stretched my body for some time, waiting for my body to warm up, before taking a deep breath and starting my walk to the graveyard. 

On my way to The Association, which was where the gate to The Core was, I saw many things. Like families enjoying themselves, and friends having fun with each other, all of these I had never experienced before. What it feels like to have a friend?

I had subordinates, but never a friend. A friend is someone who isn't afraid of you, a friend isn't someone who would commit themselves to you because of accomplishments or influence, but someone who would do it for you and nothing else, to help you.

So that was one thing I wanted to accomplish if I managed to squeeze my way out from The Core. If I'm able to crawl out of the gates of hell.

'Life is never assured, it's a game of luck, and the weak are just those with the worst of it. And that luck can change any second. So safety truly never existed in this world. It was just a way to calm down the unlucky.'

...

I looked at the massive building, it had been some days since I had last been here, but I still remember the layout as clear as day. 

'In this place, the entrance to The Core resides.' There was a theory about the gate. I had been here way before the building itself, the structure is to hold it captive in case someone wants to enter... or something wants to leave.

Before I entered I thought if I really wanted to do this. This was my last chance to turn back, my last chance to leave my past behind. I could just not do it and experience things I always wanted to feel for myself. 

But what I looked like instinct, my feet moved forward. Was my body entirely against me abandoning my revenge? Or was it not me controlling this body at that moment, did that bastard really want to go inside? 'You damn brat.' 

I could have cursed all I wanted, as my feet didn't stop from moving. 'Stop it damn it!'

Wait, why was I so against it? This was what I wanted, so why did it feel like I was against going to The Core? Why did it feel like I was the human, and the boy the beast in control?

Had I regressed that much?

My feet stopped, as my face turned blacker than the onyx tower itself. 'No, you're right.' I took a step forward, this time out of my own will. And then another and another until I was almost running.

I couldn't let the sin of humanity consume me. I couldn't let sloth take over my mind. I had to reach my goal, I had to get an answer to all my questions.

I felt as if a strange force was driving me forward, but this weird force was none other than myself. Or was it something else, was The Core pulling me it?

After all, it wouldn't let a beast like me out so easily.

I grinned, as I stepped inside the hall of the association. A continuous voice in my head telling me to continue until my eyes finally found it.

'The only way to The Core, and it's sitting right in front of me.'

I laughed, my eyes burning with desire, the insatiable hunger for power.