Goodbye

~KATERINA~

I stared out of the window blankly, watching the buildings pass by as the car accelerated down the highway. Every single word that Monalisa said to me at the parking lot replayed in my head and my heart ached inside my chest. It hurt so fucking much to know that I have been worried for nothing for the past four years. Monalisa has been doing perfectly fine while I was sick worried that something terrible happened to her.

Even though her words cut deep like a Viking sword, I put on a brave face, not allowing her to get to me. Only the heavens knew how much it hurt. I wanted to show Monalisa that I wasn't the same Katerina anymore. I stood my ground, not allowing her to have the upper hand like how it used to be in the past.

" It has already been four years but you haven't done a simple thing, Katerina. You haven't been able to give Lucas a child." The words played in my head over and over again. I wanted to tell Monalisa that I was pregnant with Luca's child but I chose to keep quiet for the safety of my baby.

My mind jolted back to the present when the car stopped and that's when I noticed that we had already arrived at Thompson's compound. Taking a deep breath, I alighted the car and headed to the mansion.

When I entered the mansion, I stopped in my tracks and darted my eyes on the ground floor. That's when it hit me that nothing was ever made for me, even the house that Lucas and I spent the last four years living in as husband and wife.

Both interior and exterior were designed according to Monalisa's liking. Lucas built the house with Monalisa in mind, not me. Everything screamed of Monalisa, from the design of the floor where I was standing to the roof. I swallowed hard when realisation sank in, my heart making a painful dance inside my chest.

I recalled how Lucas used to come home to pick Monalisa so that they would check how the building of their house was progressing. I recalled how Lucas used to ask Monalisa if she liked every little detail about the house. If it happened that she didn't like it, Lucas instructed the builders to correct it according to Monalisa's liking, saying that she wanted Monalisa to have a home of her own choice, somewhere she would feel comfortable to stay for the rest of her life.

How was I so blind not to notice it? I felt like a fool when reality began to sink in. It turns out I have been living someone else's life all this time.

When I got married to Lucas, I didn't care about anything. I didn't care to change the exterior or interior of the house. The only thing that I cared about was to be with Lucas. That was the only thing that mattered to me. 

I should have known it better than anyone else that…it was borrowed time. I should have known that when the time comes, everything would be taken by the owner and the owner was none other than Monalisa Mackenzie, my step sister.

The house that Lucas and I have been living in, the title that I had as Luca's wife. and even Lucas…they both belonged to Monalisa and she was back to claim them.

None of those things were mine to keep. That's why I didn't want to hold onto anything. As much as I wanted to keep Lucas for myself and for the sake of our baby, I found it hard to do so. I was just a substitute wife. That's why I didn't want to hold him back. Lucas had already chosen whom he wanted to be with and it wasn't me. 

I didn't want to fight for something that was never made for me…

A deep sigh escaped my lips when I gave it a thought. The house felt suffocating all of a sudden and it became hard for me to breathe. Even though I had spent four years living in the same house, I felt like a stranger, as if it was my first time stepping foot inside the house.

 I headed to the master bedroom, grabbed my suitcase and began to pack my clothes. The bedroom reminded me of Monalisa's room back at home. It had the same decoration and everything was designed exactly the same and that made me sick. 

I never cared to change the interior decor of our room.The only thing that mattered to me was Lucas and I spending every single night together, his strong arms wrapped around my body tightly. All I cared about was waking up beside him every single morning.

When I was done packing my bags, I looked around to make sure that I hadn't forgotten anything. My eyes landed on the pregnancy test results on the bedside table. I grabbed the envelope and shoved it in my handbag, looking around to make sure that no one was watching from the shadows. I didn't want anyone to know about the pregnancy, especially Lucas.

It's not that I was being mean or something. It's because I wanted Lucas to be happy with his new found family. I didn't want him to be worried about us…

Taking a deep breath, I dragged the suitcase behind me, my legs feeling heavy as I walked to the door. Standing at the door, I turned my head momentarily and all the memories that Lucas and I shared flooded in my mind.

I felt tears burn in my eyes but I blinked countless times to hold it back. God, I didn't know it was this hard to say goodbye. Swallowing the lump down my throat, I turned around and walked away, dragging the suitcase along with me.

I stopped in my tracks when I came face to face with Mr. Andrew. He looked at the suitcase in my hand then slowly raised his head to look at me. Different emotions played in his eyes which I couldn't wrap my head around.

" I guess…this is a goodbye." My voice came out as a whisper but loud enough for him to hear what I had just said. He was quiet for a while, as if he was contemplating what to tell me.

" I wish things were different." He paused then heaved a deep sigh as if the words were too heavy for him to say.

" Even though things didn't turn out great, I would like you to know that you can always count on me in case of anything, Katerina. Nothing is going to change between us. I will always be here if you need me like I have always done. Incase of anything, don't hesitate to reach out to me." A single teardrop rolled down my cheek when I heard his words. It felt good to know that there was someone who still saw the good in me.

I let the suitcase go, crossing the distance between us and wrapped my hand around the old man tightly. He hugged me back, patting my back gently.

" Thank you for everything, Mr Andrew. I don't know how I would ever pay you for everything you have done for me." I said, wiping tears from my eyes using the back of my hands.

" You can repay me by taking good care of yourself." My lips curved into a big smile when I heard his words.

_______

My heart felt heavy in my chest when I exited the mansion. I stopped in my tracks then turned my head momentarily to give the mansion one last glance. Mr Andrew and Liz were standing at the door and they had a sad look on their faces. Liz was so heartbroken when I informed her that I was leaving.

My lips curved into a sad smile. I nodded at them, silently telling them goodbye because my tongue was too heavy to utter the actual words. I would forever be grateful to Mr Andrew and Liz for giving me easy time for the past four years that I have been married to Lucas. They were so friendly and cooperative.

Heaving a deep sigh, I turned around and walked to the parking lot where James was already waiting for me. He helped me put the suitcase in the trunk then opened the car door for me.

" Here is the address." I handed him a piece of paper which had an address of my old apartment. I entered the car and we drove off instantly. I looked out of the window as many thoughts buzzed my mind.

My chain of thoughts was interrupted when my phone rang. I reached for it in my handbag to check who was calling and I couldn't help it but frown when I saw the caller ID. It was my family's house number. I received the phone, wondering what they wanted to tell me.

" Hello Katerina, it's about your father. He fell off the staircase and he has been rushed to the hospital." Anna, our house manager said in a worried voice. Fear crept in my heart when I heard her words…