Chapter 19: Fragments of Memory

The night sky was dark as ink, with only a few scattered stars, and the cold wind still howled through the corners of the city. Chen Shanyi stood at the door of the abandoned warehouse, staring into the darkness in front of her. She didn't turn back, not knowing where to go. She felt as though she were standing on the edge of a cliff, with the howling wind and the confusion in her heart eroding her.

"I must figure this out," she muttered, her throat feeling as though something was blocking it, making it hard to breathe.

She dared not recall Siska's words from earlier, those painful truths that felt like a sharp blade, slicing open her heart and letting out warm blood—warm yet filled with endless pain. Siska had said that she and he shared a deep connection, and those forgotten memories were like an untouched piece of land in her life, hiding countless secrets.

"Why can't I remember?" Her heart was filled with questions, as if trapped in an invisible web, unable to escape no matter how hard she struggled.

After returning home, Chen Shanyi walked into her room, sat on the edge of her bed, leaning against the wall, and held her head in her hands. The sense of oppression in her heart grew stronger. She didn't dare to look in the mirror, not daring to face the forgotten version of herself. She was both terrified and eager for answers.

She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. Time seemed to stand still, with only her heavy breathing and the occasional sound of the wind outside filling the room.

"You don't remember me, but that doesn't mean our connection is broken," Siska's voice echoed again in her ears, as if it were deeply engraved in her mind, impossible to erase.

She suddenly opened her eyes, and fragments of memories seemed to explode. She saw a blurry face, eyes gleaming with a familiar light—was that Siska? She couldn't recall the details, but she felt that in those eyes was something she couldn't reach.

"Why…" she murmured, her voice barely audible. "Why can't I remember?"

The next morning, Chen Shanyi decided to seek some answers. She felt she could no longer live in this fog. She had to explore those forgotten memories, even if it meant confronting a painful past.

She arrived at an old library, a place filled with the smell of books and the traces of time. She walked between the bookshelves, searching for her own history. The library was almost empty, and the air was cool, with only the sound of her footsteps and the rustling of pages echoing around her.

She stopped in front of an old notebook, reaching out to touch its heavy cover. Her heart beat faster without her control. She took her phone out of her pocket and checked the address and date. The owner of this notebook was her former professor—Professor Yan.

Professor Yan had once taught her some special courses, and some of the content in those courses was related to her lost memories. Chen Shanyi remembered hearing some strange theories in class, theories about amnesia and memory manipulation. She had never delved deeply into them, but now, she understood that she could no longer avoid this knowledge.

When she opened the notebook, her fingers trembled slightly. The pages were filled with handwriting she recognized, some of which she had read many times but never realized their importance. On the first page, it was written: "Regarding the gaps in memory, perhaps an unconscious choice."

She quickly flipped through the following pages, her eyes glued to the content. The shock and confusion in her heart grew deeper. Professor Yan mentioned some experiments on "deep memory implantation," whose purpose was to help people escape from pain by "clearing" or "restructuring" specific memories, allowing a person to start anew.

"I…" her heart trembled, and the words on the page began to blur. She understood that she might have once been part of an experiment, and this memory had been deliberately erased. She began to wonder if the past she shared with Siska was as deep as he claimed, or if she was simply the result of manipulation.

"What kind of history is this?" She gripped the notebook tightly, murmuring to herself as if seeking an answer.

She started flipping through the files tucked between the pages of the notebook. They recorded a project called "Forgetting Reshaping," which used a series of methods to make participants lose specific memories, and those memories would be completely replaced. A hint of panic flashed in Chen Shanyi's eyes as she realized she had become a victim of this experiment.

"If I am part of this experiment, who am I?" Her heart sank to the bottom, and suddenly, she questioned everything about herself. She had always believed she was an ordinary, carefree person, but now, she had to face the shocking fact—that her past might never have belonged to her at all.

She picked up her phone and dialed Siska's number, yet once again hesitated. She knew that she had to either dive deeper into this maze to find the truth, or live forever in ignorance, keeping her distance from these painful memories.

"I'm coming to find you." When the phone connected, her voice was firm, with no hesitation. "I can't keep running away, Siska."

There was a brief silence on the other end of the phone, and then Siska spoke softly, "You've already gone too far, Shanyi. This road… it's not so easy to turn back."