Chapter 9: First Night With Alpha Cayden

Time might not heal every wound, but it did patch me up physically.

Another week slipped by, and I was feeling better than ever. I made certain to follow the diet plan that Ava had tailored for me. I showed up for every doctor's appointment and took short, easy walks regularly to build up my strength.

I wasn't fully back to normal yet, but I was making steady progress each day.

I was amazed at how quickly I bounced back when I put in the effort. Then again, I had Alpha blood in me.

Since there was no turning back, I convinced myself to accept the situation. By the time this whole thing was behind me, I'd be in a much better spot. I'd be healthier, and I'd have my freedom.

On that Wednesday, a call from Beta Jace disrupted the peace, telling me that Alpha was coming over for dinner.

Right after I hung up, a maid named Harper, who looked to be in her fifties or sixties and introduced herself as the head housekeeper of the manor, came into my room.

She said politely, "Miss Tori, hello. Sorry to bother you. I'm here to help you get ready."

"Thank you, Ms. Harper," I said, truly grateful for her help. "I was at a loss about what to prepare."

Harper was extremely meticulous and patient. She even brought the vegetables needed for dinner. Usually, Kas was the one who delivered my meals, so all I had in the fridge was some milk and chocolate.

There was nothing else suitable for cooking.

As she put the dough into the oven, she shared Alpha's food preferences with me. She told me that Mr. Alpha loved waffles, hated potatoes, and was allergic to milk, and reminded me to pay attention to these.

I was full of questions. I didn't understand why Alpha had suddenly decided to have dinner at my place.

I asked Harper, but she didn't know either.

"Is Alpha going to spend the night here?" I was taken aback.

Just the thought of being alone with him made my heart race.

As eight o'clock approached and dinner was all set, I quickly changed my clothes and fixed my hair before going back to the dining table. I habitually sat in the corner, glancing out the window from time to time. Harper was keeping an eye out for Alpha's car.

At that moment, my mind was blank.

I kept thinking about what I was going to say to Alpha and all the possible scenarios after dinner, and my cheeks felt a little warm. However, that night, as it grew late, the call that came was from Beta Jace, informing me that Alpha had been held up by something and couldn't make it.

I froze for a moment, not sure if I was more relieved or disappointed.

Deep down, I thought to myself: this is just a deal, a job. What was I expecting?

After that day, life went back to being quiet and dull.

When I had nothing else to do, I'd sit in my room, play the vinyl records Kas had given me, and zone out, letting the time pass slowly, as if the world had slowed down.

A knock on the door caught my attention. It was Harper again.

"Miss Tori, hello. We're here to get you ready. We met a few days ago," she said.

"Sorry, ready for what? Do I have to meet someone?"

"Alpha sent me to make sure you're prepared for tonight."

What she said only added to my confusion.

It wasn't until I saw the woman disappear into the bathroom to draw a bath that I understood what she meant.

So, it was tonight.

He was going to take my virginity!

Once in a while, my thoughts went to Alpha Cayden. As time went by, the fear of him had slowly faded away. I had been fine up until this point because he hadn’t been around. After the first night I arrived here, he seemed to have forgotten about me.

Our first encounter seemed so long ago that I even questioned whether it was real… until now.

Time seemed to slow down as I took a seat on my chair. The maids were drawing me a floral bath. They didn’t pay attention to me, and I felt like I was an outsider watching the movements they were making.

 It wasn’t until the bath was ready that Harper gestured for me to follow her.

“The only job you have here is to bear a child.” His words echoed in my head.

To him, it was just a job, and I was nothing more than a container he bought to carry his heir.

Hot water swirled around me, and I soaked in the fresh, natural-scented liquid.

It was getting dark outside, and the colorful clouds at the edge of the sky started to dim. Oh, and the moon... I wondered when it would be dark enough for me to see it so that I could pray to the Moon Goddess.

It was a perfect night as any girl could dream of as her first night with her mate. However, the man I was going to lose my virginity to was someone who didn’t need a mate. The only purpose he would have here tonight would be to leave a child in my belly. And once he took what I held dear, he would never have anything to do with me again.

No love, no feeling, only business.

The thought made my heart tighten and broke a piece of my soul.

This was the commitment I made. I accepted being his breeder. No matter how much I had been mentally preparing for this night, I could not stop tears welling up as I tried to let the reality of things sink in.

“It’s going to be okay,” I whispered as I sunk deeper into the water.

It was my choice, and I could do this.

“It’s time to get dressed.”

The voice of one of the maids made me look toward the door, and I saw her standing there with a white towel in hand.

“We must hurry. The Alpha will be here soon.”

Trembling, I stood from the bath, the cool air hitting my skin.

She didn’t hesitate to come toward me and wrap the towel around my body, ushering me to move toward the bedroom. On the bed sat white lingerie that had been hand-picked for me to wear. The camisole was silky and… thin. It was so thin that I could see through it, and the fact that it hugged what curves I had made me feel distasteful—as if I was a lady of the night.

Humiliated, even, to think that I was presenting myself to the Alpha in such an attire.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I didn’t even feel like the girl I had been before. Long hair, silky skin—but my cheeks were no longer tinted pink like they should have been. I was ashen with fear.

Nervousness filled me, and I knew there would be no way to hide it. Not when my face spoke for how I felt.

“You look beautiful,” one of the maids said to me when she was done preparing me. “The Alpha will be pleased.”

It was then that I realized that they didn’t give me any panties.

Cayden’s piercing eyes and his perfectly handsome face appeared in my head again. I remembered when his fingers touched my face… those slender fingers that could also easily strangle me.

The cold seeped into my bones, and the chattering of my teeth could be heard throughout the room. I was shaking not just from the cold, but also with fear.

The fear that Cayden created within me.

I was about to lose my virtue… but it meant nothing to the man who was about to take it.

The maid noticed me shaking and quickly picked up a white silk robe that had been lying on the back of a chair. She carefully draped it over my shoulders to help bring me some warmth.

“...Thank you,” I said with hesitation as I watched them all turn and leave.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale…

I could do this.

I heard the sound of the door opening, and spun around, coming face to face with the most handsome man I had ever seen.

Alpha Cayden.

He was as gorgeous as when I met him last time. The black dress shirt he wore was tucked into the top of his pants, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He wasn’t wearing a tie, and the top button of his shirt was open.

A chilly wind entered the room with him, and the temperature seemed to have dropped suddenly. Even the warm candlelight couldn’t soften his cold aura.

As soon as he walked in, he quickly glanced around the room. Then his eyes locked on me. I couldn’t tell what emotions they held. They were clear, but cold as ice—just like him.

“Alpha...” I stuttered, trying to find my words.

What was he going to do…? Well, I knew what was his plan… but what was I supposed to do?

I stood there, not knowing where to put my arms.

Cayden came toward me, looming overhead like a mountain. I didn't dare look at his face and instead lowered my eyes, watching him get closer and closer until he enveloped my entire body in his shadow. We were so close that I felt the heat from his body through my thin robe.

Everything was quiet, and I heard my heart pounding.

It was too difficult to even breathe. Subconsciously, I took a step back. At that moment, he suddenly moved, reaching for me.

I was frozen in place, eyes shut.

Then I felt his fingers brush over my shoulder. The silky robe slowly slipped off me. My heart filled with dread as I thought about how I looked in his eyes. My body was trembling, my eyes were closed, and my face felt like it was on fire.

"Please..." My voice was broken and shaky.

I didn't know what I was afraid of, nor did I know what I was expecting to happen. I couldn’t think straight, especially when his scent was surrounding me. It was psychedelic and wild.

"On the bed," he commanded in my ear.

Goddess, his voice was so intoxicating. It made my heart tremble with every word.

I fought back my shyness, opened my eyes, and made my way towards the bed. The bed was soft and comfortable, just like Eva had told me before. Even sitting on the fleece blanket, I still felt cold. A shiver slowly overtook me and caused goosebumps to rise across my body.

I knew what he was here for.

Even though I had been preparing myself mentally for the past couple of weeks, when the moment came, it was still much harder than I thought.

As I laid myself flat in the middle of the bed, I obediently closed my eyes, trying to focus on breathing exercises to calm my racing mind. The next moment, I felt a slight bounce from the bed. He was next to me.

My heart beat wildly and my fingers clutched the blanket beneath me. As soon as I opened my eyes, I found his eyes locked with my own, and a soft gasp left my lips. His large hands quickly came up to claim my wrists, pinning them above my head.

At that moment, I realized he was fully dressed, while I was almost completely naked.

I was bare to him.

Shame filled me.

The dim light was no longer enticing or warm—instead, it felt so blinding.

As his hot fingers slid downward, I thought I would have a heart attack. I couldn’t stop the shaking that ran through me, and I was too afraid to keep my eyes open.

With my eyes closed again, I prayed for it to be over.

However, as soon as I closed them, I regretted it.

The weight and heat pressing down on my body reminded me of the nightmare that Liam brought me. Liam’s greedy face was what I saw in my mind—my tormentor was back. The romantic atmosphere in this room seemed to be just an illusion. The bed under me was suffocating, and the man above me…

No! He wasn’t Liam! Liam wasn’t here!

I bit my lip and tried to relax my body, but my emotions took over, and my effort was useless. Bitterness and terror brought tears to my eyes, and when they arrived, I couldn’t stop them. I felt warm liquid dripping down my cheeks and dropped on the blanket under me.

“No...”

Despair and fear swept over me. It was like I was in a deep nightmare, and could only make the faintest sound with all my might.

"No..."