Chapter Three.

Lina scoffed and headed out to the front porch.

Although, Natalie tried to persuade her to stay in the living room, but she told her mother that she needed to get some fresh air.

She sat on her grandmother's rocking chair for a couple of minutes, before Christopher arrived.

'Hey sis.' His voice jolted her of her thoughts. 

'Chrisy.' Lina muttered and her brother noticed an unusual tone in her voice.

'Are you okay?' Christopher asked.

'I think I am.' Lina muttered. 

'I knew it.' Christopher said and sat on the bench in front of the rocking chair Lina sat on.

'What is bothering you?' He added.

'Christopher,' Lina's voice broke.

'Yes, Lina.' Christopher muttered 

'I wish I didn't stay away for so long.' Lina started. 

'I wish I had always come to see nana at least.' She went on.

'Chrisy, there's this void in my heart, that I just can't seem to fill up.' Lina said with tears welling up in her eyes.

'I wish I was here to say goodbye at least.' She wept. 

'I feel so horrible.' She added, as Christopher grabbed her hands, and gave them a firm and comforting squeeze.

'You made a mistake, Lina. But, you can definitely change that.' Christopher spoke so calmly.

'You were away, yes. And you missed out on most of the time nana had left, but you can make up for all of that.' He added. 

'How can I make up for that, Chris?' Lina cried. 

'Nana is already gone.' She sobbed sadly.

'By coming back to us.' Christopher said and reached for her face, gently. 

He wiped the tears flowing down her cheek, with the tip of his thumb and added.

'You need to come out of your shell and return back to us, your family. Even nana would love that.' 

'You know I can't do that.' Lina said and got up.

She moved away from Christopher and the rocking chair. 

Then, she leaned onto the wooden rail built on the porch, and let out a rough breath.

'Why can't you come back?' Christopher followed her and also leaned on the rail too.

'You know why.' Lina gruntled.

'You can not keep running away from us, Lina.' Christopher said. 

'We are your family and we love you.' He added.

'Well, I do not doubt that, but I can not come back to all of the memories. I'd rather stay away.' Lina said.

'For goodness sake, it's been fifteen years, Lina. You should have gotten over this.' Christopher blurted and Lina snickered.

'I...' She stuttered unable to believe her brother would ever say that to her.

Christopher immediately realized that his words came off wrong, but there was little to what he could do about it.

'I should have gotten over something that ruined me this much?' Lina muttered in a coarse voice and Christopher instantly knew she was burning in rage. 

'Sis, I didn't...' He tried to speak but she didn't let him.

'You, of all knew what I went through.' She started.

'You know how hard it was for me to stay sane and you know how many times, I attempted to take my own life.' She went on, sounding angrier than she's ever been in years.

'Do you have any idea, what it feels like to not be believed or defended by that one person you've trusted your whole life?' Lina fired, glaring with darkness in her eyes.

'Lina, I'm so....' Christopher tried to speak again but Lina went on talking over his words.

'Or having to deal with your pain all alone because you can't even tell anyone about it?' 

'It's easy for you to tell me to just move on and get over it, when you're not the one who can not sleep peacefully every single night, because of horrible and terrifying nightmares.' She uttered and moved her gaze back to the empty road.

'You have no right to tell me how to react to pain, unless you've walked in my shoes, Christopher.' Lina blurted. 

'I'm sorry.' Christopher finally said.

'I know, I shouldn't have said it that way but you need to live a life that you truly deserve.' He added. 

'A life where you're not held back by your past.' He went on.

'A life where you cease to punish yourself for what wasn't your fault.' Christopher muttered. 

'You keep pushing us all away, but we need you, Lina.' He said.

'We need you to be yourself and be happy again.' He added.

'Chris, I can't.....' Lina was going to protest. 

'Do it for nana, sis.' Christopher interrupted her.

'You owe her that much.' He concluded and walked into the house. 

Lina joined the rest of her family inside the house, after a couple of hours.

Natalie was on the phone with someone, and Lina could hear her talking about food for the funeral. 

As she took a seat beside Christopher, she wondered if she could still convince her mother to send her nana to the crematorium. 

When Natalie got off the phone, she informed her children about the latest update on the funeral arrangement. 

And also made Lina and Christopher in charge of bringing their grandmother's body from the morgue. 

'Mom, may I speak freely please?' Lina started. 

'Of course, darling.' Natalie replied. 

'I know I have said this before, but I still want to say it again, and I need you to please listen.' Lina said. 

'Okay,' Natalie chuckled in uncertainty. 

'I'm listening.' She said.

'I was hoping that you would change your mind and we could cremate, nana?' Lina asked. 

'No, Lina. We already talked about this.' Natalie replied. 

'Mom, I am begging you.' Lina pleaded, clutching both her hands together.

'I miss her so much and I want to have her around.' She proclaimed. 

'Come back to us and you will always have her around.' Natalie countered. 

'Mom, I need to go back to work. You know I can not stay.' Lina said.

'And why is that?' Catherine fired from the dinning table. 

'You'd rather work in an unknown land than be here, in Bentonville, with your family.' She added. 

'It's not that simple.' Lina said. 

'Make it simple, baby.' Natalie muttered and took a seat beside Lina. 

She reached for her hands and stroked them gently.

'Why are you running away from us?' Natalie asked. 

'I was going to wait until after the funeral before springing this up, but I think this is the perfect time to ask?' She said.

'What is going on with you? What went wrong?' Natalie asked, and Lina shot Christopher a glance.

'Maybe we should discuss this after the funeral, mom.' Christopher said, as though he was trying to save Lina from the question.

'No, son. What if she runs off again, immediately after the funeral?' Natalie protested. 

'Talk to me, baby. Is something bothering you?' She asked.

'No, of co....' Lina stuttered, and then cleared her throat.

'Of course, not. I'm fine.' She said. 

'No, Lina. You don't seem fine to me.' Natalie replied. 

'You behave so different now.' She added.

'You used to be a great talker and you always lit up the room with your presence but now, it's seems you're hiding in a shell.' Natalie said.

'It could be jet lag, mom. You know, she's had a long trip.' Christopher spoke again after Lina shot him another glance.

'This is not jet lag, Christopher.' Natalie said. 

'She's been acting this way, since the year she came back home for her internship.' She added and Lina turned blue.

'Why don't you take some rest, Lina. You must be tired.' Christopher said. 

'What's with the back and forth, Chris?' Natalie asked. 

'Why do you keep speaking for her?' She added. 

'You act like you know something mom and I don't, brother.' Catherine said. 

'Right.' Natalie agreed. 

'Is there something you both are not telling us?' She asked.

'No, mom.' Christopher blurted. 

'We're not hiding anything.' Lina said and the front door swung open.

She turned to see who arrived, at least to avoid her mother's questions, only to shocked by her father arrival.

Her heart started racing so fast, she could almost hear the sound. 

When her mother got up to welcome her father in, she slipped out of the living room and locked herself up in her old room.