A Boy is a Gun Chapter 16

"Shizun!" Xue Tuzi's voice came strained and frantic as he wrestled with the debris, pushing his hands against the jagged stones, but it was hopeless. The rocks were too numerous, too heavy—no matter how much he heaved and shoved, they refused to budge, pressing down like an immovable mountain between him and his Shizun. Gritting his teeth, Xue Tuzi's shoulders trembled with the exertion, sweat beading down his brow as he dug his fingers into the cold, unyielding stones. 

On the other side of the barrier, Xue Laohu released a silent breath, his pulse still racing. He hadn't expected his quick trick to work so well, and now he felt a mix of satisfaction and anxiety as he looked over his handiwork. Nervously, he fanned himself, glancing at the crumbling ceiling. He hoped, almost desperately, that Xue Tuzi wouldn't manage to break through. The fragile barrier he had created might have been enough for now, but every sound of shifting stone felt like a countdown.

Suddenly, another voice joined the fray. "Xiao Jiao!" Shudu cried, his voice rough with urgency as he, too, began hammering at the rocks. His fists pounded against the stones in a flurry of blows, each impact sending echoes ricocheting through the narrow corridor. Shudu's punches struck with a furious rhythm, and the barrier was starting to splinter under his strength. It was only a matter of time before he would break through.

Seeing this, Xue Laohu's heart lurched. Without hesitation, he raised his fist and struck the ceiling once more. The weakened rock above cracked and gave way, sending another cascade of stones crashing down. Dust and debris clouded the air, and the sound of falling rocks thundered around them, sealing the divide even further.

Through the dust, Xue Laohu spotted a faint, writhing shape on his side of the wall. The Gu worm, small and wriggling, had landed in the chaos, sheltered on his side of the barrier. "Shudu," Xue Laohu called out, his voice muffled yet steady through the thick wall of debris, "Xiao Jiao is here with us. He's safe."

On the other side, Shudu froze. He clenched his fists tightly, feeling the strain of his own heartbeat against the knuckles. His expression twisted in frustration as he leaned into the stones, but the barrier held. "A-Tuzi…" Xue Laohu's voice came out soft, hesitant, as he tapped the edge of his fan nervously against his forehead. His fingers drummed the fan's frame in a disjointed rhythm, he stammered, eyes flicking back to the rubble behind him. "D-do you remember the map I showed you?"

"Shizun!" Xue Tuzi's voice cracked in exasperation, his brows knitted in a deep furrow as he clung to the cold, unyielding rocks blocking his way. The desperation in his grip matched the frustration flickering in his gaze, a silent plea for a solution.

Xue Laohu swallowed, casting a wary glance at the ceiling before meeting his disciple's eyes through the cracks in the barrier. "I want you and Shudu to keep moving forward. Head to the exit," he instructed, his tone firming with a quiet resolve, though worry lingered in his expression. He hesitated, taking a deep breath. "And one more thing," he added, voice softening, "do not kill each other."

With that, he crouched down, gently scooping up the little Gu worm, Jiao Jiao, who clung to his sleeve, wailing pitifully for his Mama. Xue Laohu tightened his grip on the wriggling worm, offering a reassuring pat to calm him. Without another word, he nodded to Li Zhameng, who stood nearby, ready to follow. Together, they turned and disappeared down the dimly lit tunnel.

On the other side, Xue Tuzi's hands slipped from the rocks, and he sank to his knees, feeling a pang of helplessness at the separation. His fingers curled into fists, pressing against the damp earth as he struggled to catch his breath. A faint sound broke through his thoughts—an amused snort. He looked up to find Shudu standing over him, one brow arched in a mocking expression.

"Are you coming, or do you plan to sit here all day?" He taunted, a wry smile tugging at his lips as he adjusted his grip on Xiao Zongzi, who dangled sleepily in his arms. Without waiting for a response, he turned, striding confidently down the tunnel. The shadows seemed to swallow him up, and after a long, silent moment, "Shizun…why?" Xue Tuzi murmured, his voice barely a whisper. He forced himself to rise, trailing behind as they ventured deeper into the winding tunnel.

On the other side, Yi Ming squinted at his screen, scrolling impatiently for any hint of updates on Shudu and Xue Tuzi's "blossoming" romance. Blossoming? He snorted. Please. They'd be lucky if they didn't kill each other. A long, dramatic sigh escaped his lips as he sank deeper into a pit of worry, groaning under the weight of his predicament, his heavy sighs practically fogging up his screen.

"Shizun?" Li Zhameng's voice broke his grumbling thoughts. Xue Laohu turned around, face pale as a ghost, dark circles under his eyes from one too many sleepless nights of strategizing. His hair was a chaotic mess from nervous fidgeting, he and his fan had nearly become a crumpled mess from his constant muttering behind it. 

"Huh?" he replied, looking like he'd just woken up from a nightmare holding on to Jiao Jiao tenderly. 

Li Zhameng tilted his head, concern evident. "Why did Shizun knock those rocks down?" he asked, getting right to the point.

"What?" Xue Laohu stammered, eyes wide. "Knock…what out?"

"The rocks," Li Zhameng replied, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes. "I saw Shizun briefly use his fan to create a cave-in," he continued, reenacting the scene with exaggerated gestures. Yi Ming's heart sank. Great. If Li Zhameng saw me do it, then Xue Tuzi probably knows, too. He's probably wondering why I did it. Crap. Crap. Crap. Not good.

Li Zhameng pressed on, "Shizun, why did you do it?"

Yi Ming's mind whirled. I can't tell him the truth—he'll think I'm crazy! He grimaced, mentally screaming. How could I explain I've got a mission to get Shudu and Xue Tuzi to have a little romance just so I can snag 500 life points? In a moment of sheer frustration, he slapped his hand to his face, dragging it down with a long sigh. "I just…wanted some alone time," he mumbled out loud without thinking, one hand cradling Jiao Jiao. 

Li Zhameng's face went beet red. He covered his cheeks, eyes wide in pure astonishment. Alone time? With…me? he thought, giddy with excitement. His mind raced as he stared at his Shizun, totally misinterpreting the situation.

Meanwhile, Xue Laohu had already turned and begun striding further down the tunnel, calling over his shoulder, "Yo! Meng Meng! Stop daydreaming and let's go!"

"Coming!" Li Zhameng chirped back, practically skipping to his Shizun's side, heart aflutter.

Shudu and Xue Tuzi had trekked through the tunnel in absolute silence, each seemingly content in their own thoughts. Xue Tuzi, for one, was relieved the little maggot Jiao Jiao wasn't around to cling to his leg or incessantly suckle on his chest. Just as the oppressive quiet began to settle into an awkward lull, they reached a fork in the tunnel, where two shadowy paths branched off in opposite directions.

"I'm going right," Xue Tuzi announced, his voice calm and resolute. Without waiting for a response, he strode confidently toward the right passage. Shudu, who hadn't bothered paying attention to the map, simply followed him, hands casually laced behind his head as he strolled along.

Xue Tuzi whipped around, narrowing his eyes. "Why are you following me?" he snapped, a hint of irritation in his voice.

"You're the one who remembers the map," Shudu replied, unfazed. "I didn't even look at it." He shrugged, his expression nonchalant as he continued ambling along at his own leisurely pace.

With an exaggerated eye-roll, Xue Tuzi huffed and quickened his steps, putting some distance between himself and Shudu. But his defiance was short-lived. As he pushed forward, Shudu suddenly halted, his posture shifting as his ears caught the faint flapping of wings approaching fast.

In one swift movement, Shudu ducked as a bat came zooming past him, narrowly missing his head. He dodged gracefully, stepping aside with the ease of someone used to moving in the shadows. Meanwhile, Xue Tuzi had not been so lucky. A whole colony of bats had erupted from the depths of the tunnel, swarming around him in a frenzy. They dove at him from every direction, their wings beating wildly, filling the air with an echoing noise.

Xue Tuzi cursed under his breath, trying to fend them off as they zipped and whirled around him, their dark forms nearly invisible in the murky shadows. Swiftly, he unfurled his ribbon, wrapping it around himself as a shield before flinging it outward in one fluid motion. The ribbon slashed through the air with a sharp snap, striking several of the bats mid-flight and sending them to the ground in a heap.

By the time Shudu walked up, hands still lazily folded behind his head, Xue Tuzi stood panting, shoulders tense, his gaze sharp as he looked away with a disdainful Hmph. Without sparing Shudu a glance, he reached up, gathering his hair into a loose knot and securing it with the ribbon, his face set in stubborn defiance.

Shudu surveyed the scene with a raised brow, letting out a long, low whistle as he stepped over the unconscious bats littering the ground. "Impressive," he said with a smirk, amusement dancing in his eyes as he watched Xue Tuzi pretend not to notice him.

The bats swarmed around Xue Laohu and Li Zhameng in a chaotic frenzy, and the two of them bolted down the tunnel, shrieking as they ran for their lives Jiao Jiao dangling from within Xue Laohu's robe. "Shoot them! Shoot them!" Xue Laohu hollered, his breaths coming in gasps as he sprinted, barely managing to keep his balance in the mad dash.

"Right!" Li Zhameng shouted, fumbling to pull out his gun as he aimed wildly, his hands shaking. His shots ricocheted off the walls, some narrowly whizzing past the bats while others came dangerously close to hitting his Shizun.

Xue Laohu whipped his head around in horror as a bullet zipped past his ear. "Not me!" he yelled, eyes wide with panic. "The bats! Shoot the bats!"

"Shizun, I—I'm a disgrace!" Li Zhameng wailed, his face crumpling in shame. He clenched his teeth, summoning every ounce of focus as tears streamed down his cheeks. With newfound resolve, he took a deep breath, steeled his aim, and unleashed a rapid, pinpoint-accurate volley, knocking out every single remaining bat in a blur of precision.

Xue Laohu watched in awe as the last bat dropped to the ground, Jiao Jiao had momentarily poked out his head to count the fallen bats. Xue Laohu gave Li Zhameng a big grin, winking as he flashed a triumphant thumbs up. "Way to go, Meng Meng! Now let's get the hell out of here!"

Before Li Zhameng's face could flush from his Shizun's unexpected praise, Xue Laohu grabbed his hand and yanked him down the tunnel, the two of them stumbling as they made their escape from the chaos.

Meanwhile, Xue Tuzi had crumpled on the ground, his whole body trembling as he struggled to catch his breath, beads of sweat rolled down his pale face. His fingers dug into the dirt beneath him, but each movement brought another wave of pain, making him wince.

"Heh, look what we have here," Shudu sneered, crossing his arms and leaning down to look at his fallen rival. "Guess the little weakling isn't as tough as he pretends to be." With a mocking grin, he nudged Xue Tuzi's side with his foot, eliciting a soft, involuntary groan.

"Master, can I eat him?" came a sly voice from above. Xiao Zongzi had crept down from her web, dangling like a shadow just above Xue Tuzi, her many legs shifting as she lowered herself closer.

Shudu's grin widened. "Go right ahead, be my guest," he laughed, clearly relishing Xue Tuzi's misery.

Xiao Zongzi's long, wiry legs extended one by one, their hairy joints bending as she reached out to stroke Xue Tuzi's face. Her touch was almost tender, each jointed limb moving slowly, deliberately. Xue Tuzi shuddered, feeling each brush against his cheek, her limbs prickling his skin as they trailed along his jawline. Her cold, glittering eyes examined him like a rare delicacy, savoring every shiver.

"Wait! Grandmaster Xue said no killing," Shudu muttered, holding out a hand to stop Xiao Zongzi just as she was about to crawl closer. Xue Laohu's stern warning flashed through his mind, and Shudu frowned. "I don't intend to anger the Grandmaster," he said, casting a reluctant glance at Xue Tuzi, who still lay on the ground, shivering and pale.

Sighing, Shudu knelt beside him, reaching down to pull aside Xue Tuzi's collar, revealing his smooth, pale-jade shoulder. His gaze narrowed on an indented, blood-red bite mark, vivid against the skin, oozing faint traces of venom. "He's been bitten," Shudu muttered, studying the mark. He tugged at the fabric to undress Xue Tuzi even further, but a sudden, pointed cough made him pause.

"Ahem." Xiao Zongzi cleared her throat from her perch above them, tilting her head with a knowing glint in her eyes. "And what, exactly, does Master plan to do about it?"

Shudu's eyes gleamed mischievously as he stretched his arms overhead, then settled cross-legged on the ground beside Xue Tuzi, chin resting on his fist. "Well," he drawled, smirking, "if Xiao Jiao were here, he'd just suck the poison out. But since he's not…" He let his words hang, watching Xiao Zongzi's reaction, then shrugged. "Guess I'll have to do it myself."

Ultra Super Blah Blah Blah: 

It's time for a Modern AU Character Guide:

Yi Ming/Xue Laohu: 19 year old at University. He told his parents he's studying medicine but he's getting a degree in animation and computer graphics. His dream is to work at a major animation studio, he's a big weeb. He works as a telemarketer and feels that his job sucks the life out of his soul.

Year of the Dragon [In both Modern and Novel world]

Li Zhameng: 25 year old at University he doesn't know what he wants to do he's unable to graduate because he keeps switching majors. Currently works at a cat cafe to make ends meet.

Year of the Dog [In both Modern and Novel world]

Xiao Zongzi: In the modern world she's a 23 year old girl who works at a beauty shop. She normally looks like a ghostly disheveled woman who just crawled out of the closet but does a complete transformation after applying a little bit of makeup and combing her hair.

Year of the Rat 

Jiao Jiao: Is just a baby. A Gu worm baby. 

Xue Tuzi: 20 year old who does not dream of labor. He firmly believes that work is modern day slavery. He's a skilled seamstress but would never consider working at a sweatshop. His dream is to be a house wife. Currently is a Sugar Baby to some old sleaze ball from over sea's whom he has scammed into sending him money, has never physically met the man. 

Year of the Rabbit [In both Modern and Novel world]

Shudu: 35 year old-

Shudu: Hey what the fuck?! How come I'm 35 and everyone is in their 20's!

Author: Ahem…

Shudu: You know how bad this is going to look for you? You fucking idiot!

Author: You're lucky I don't make you 43…

Shudu: How come Grandmaster gets to be 19 and I'm fucking 35!

Author pushing nonexistent glasses into the bridge of their nose: Because you said you wanted a manly man's job so I gave you a job as a construction worker.

Shudu: And…

Author: Most construction workers are at their prime at 35.

Shudu: Fine. I don't fucking care but don't come to me when shit hits the fan.

Author hits a pack of cigs on the table taking one out, their hands trembling as they press the cig onto their lips, lighting it before taking a big drag: Shudu: 35 year old construction worker. His goal is to obtain a wife who will make him breakfast and pack him lunch. He's tired of coming home to instant noodles. 

Year of the Snake!