Day 11-12-13

30 Jan, 8:00. Well... It's not as if I forgot to write this, I just didn't write because I was too lazy.

But I am back, so I'll summaries the past 3 days.

27 Jan. Everything was normal except for the one thing which was out of ordinary.

Two girls of my class told me about something, well they've told me about that once before so this was the second time to be accurate.

It was about an anonymous person who has a crush on me (I am not surprised at all). The person is not a female btw. It's a boy.

Now there is a boy from my school who is in class 10 who confessed to me not long ago. It was only after I actually rejected him that those two girls told me about the anonymous person for the first time.

So I had initially thought that the boy from class 10 and this anonymous person are the same person (only logical to think this way). But the new information that was revealed to me is shocking!

This anonymous person isn't from our school!? So that means they are two different people, both boys and both of them have taken a liking for me.

How exciting....

I rejected obviously. I told the girls to not go any further with this. The reason I gave was that I am not into boys but that's not completely true.

I would have no problem in a trans relationship. In fact I do want to experience it ones. I've had a girlfriend so I know the straight relationships, but the trans ones have always kept me confused.

If I get a chance to experience it I would surely love to, but right now there are a lot of factors which stop me from getting into a relationship.

I don't have enough time. Even though I don't study, what I do do is invest my time on games and online. I don't have time for social interactions or should I say I don't like social interactions to begin with.

Next is the fact that the two girls who told me about this, they too know about this. If I were to give it a go, it'll cause me problems. I live in a very homophobic society. So it'll be a problem if the word gets out.

Also I am the type of person who'd enjoy the fact that people have crush on me, instead of actually getting into a relationship. So this type of situation is perfect. All I need to do is show that I am frustrated by this on surface, but my inner feelings say otherwise.

Lastly there is a bit of past relationship trauma which I don't think I will get over anytime soon.

Rest the day was pretty calm and nothing special happened. Ofcourse I didn't study and I have a test on coming Saturday.

28 Jan. This day was very exciting. I had quite the adrenaline rush because of just what happened.

The day started as very normal. It was only during the 2nd break that things got pretty heated.

A group of students, to be specific, three of them. They had an argument with my friend. Now the friend I am referring to is a very innocent type and genuinely nice. I have never felt any of his underlying feelings that might've leaked. I do confirm that he is just a nice guy.

The reason for the stupid argument was also very stupid. I won't be explaining, but it wasn't his fault at all.

Thoze problem children from my class (Those 3) they are more like delinquents. Now I don't have any problems with delinquents, but there are two types of these people as well.

One which do have some power to influence things but they realise this and separate the two worlds "their world" and the world of the "common". These people are nice, they don't cause trouble to others and they aren't looking for fight all the time.

The other type is what those three can be put into. Those who are looking for fight. They snap out on the smallest reasons and create drama. They are not liked by a lot, but at the same time they are not hated by a lot.

Only if the people of my class had even 1% of my reasoning skills, they'd figure out that those three are nothing but a problem, an anomaly.

The argument continues. While they were arguing in class, that is my friend and two of those theee guys, I joined them. Why did I join in? I have no idea. I am a master at not getting involved then why did I get involved? Perhaps because of the immense hate I have for those three.

One of the things about arguing with them is that they don't have logic. Every third of their sentences contradicts the previous and half the time they seem like they themselves have no idea of what they are speaking. 75% of the entire thing is swear words and logic ceases to exist.

Someone like me who depends solely on logic to win an argument can never win against such kind. They are too stupid to converse with.

My friend was scared, it's only natural. Those people, they don't have control. They can hit without thinking about the consequences. This is the strength of these people. But it is also a weakness which will lead to their downfall in the long run. But again, they are too stupid to understand that.

Later one of those three comes to call my friend outside. A quick tip for everyone! Never go outside.

I mean if you are in a similar situation then never go outside. It's too dangerous.

We are not scared so we did go out anyway!

I am so stupid for this but it's alright.

Then there we were, the two of us standing in front of a crowd of 10-15 people. God damn! I knew the system here was not as strict but this is straight up hooliganism. (I looked up that word just rn)

If I was the one who they were targeting then I would've gone back to class. What are they gonna do? They can't hit me, if they do I'll surely take a few punches to get them their transfer certificates.

But my friend did not back down, I am surprised he was able to speak so much. We eventually just leave... unscathed (fortunately).

Now me being there didn't make any difference. Or so you would think! But senseless arguments isn'tu expertise. I am an observer, a spectator. I don't get involved, I exist to watch.

The entire thing was cleared up rather quickly because my friend's mom stepped in to complain directly to that delinquent boy's parents. But if it were to get even a slightly more heated then as long as we were in the campus, which means, under rules and regulations, I would be the strongest.

If it comes to logic, I will not lose. I have the ability to make the entire thing sound very serious and portray my friend as a victim (which he really was).

I've had my doubts for a long time but it's not just me who is avoiding those delinquents. It seems that they are also avoiding me.

They've had chances to get into arguments with me (which they so much love) but they don't get involved with me. This might just be because of that one time, the first time we kind of had an argument.

But before that lets just break down the type of people in my class.

My class can effectively be divided into the way the people are seated. For right now, I'll only break down the different types of boys as I have not gotten much lead on the girls. I am not interested in girls so it does make sense. (This does not imply that I am interested in boys)

The first type is the studious ones who sit at the front. They occupy 3-4 rows. Next up is the good-for-nothing ones. They are not good at studying nor do they have any talent. They just exist to act as fillers. They too occupy 3-4 rows.

Next up is the group of 3. I am giving them a whole new category. They are the trouble makers. After which are a few students which cannot actually be put in a group so I'll say they are miscellaneous.

After which comes is me and my friends. Initially we used to sit at front but I've always had the habit of sitting at the back so I started sitting at the back. Also the front rows are heavily crowded. 4 people sitting on a single bench (wide bench obviously). And at the back it's just me on a whole bench. So much better (I don't like a lot of people near me).

The next type of people are well the other type of delinquents. These people do really want to study. The get involved in certain bad things but they don't merge those things with us common people at all. They are very polite so I don't hate them. But if I were to determine their worth... I'll say they are not worth much.

Lets focus on the group of those delinquents. The three people. Should I just call them A B C? Alright.

A is the leader of the group. He is the one who is short- tempered and also the one who started the argument. He is also the one with whom I also almost got into an argument.

B is smart? He atleast looks like he knows what he is doing, yet he chooses to hang out with someone like A. He is the person who tried actually calm down the heated argument but in his own way.

B is the one who came to call my friend outside. The reason why he asked my friend to come outside was to have my friend apologise to A.

From my perspective the entire thing looked like this:

A snapped out, the argument got heated and A is already planning to resort to violence.

B also "acts" as if he is angry while my friend and they were arguing in class, that is in front of A.

Later B comes in class, his attitude is different, his tone is different. He looks like he is trying to solve the entire thing. He then tells my friend a way to solve the entire thing. "Apologising". Indeed I'll say it is a crazy weapon. Those who can apologise keeping their prides aside are the true monsters. I would've apologised.

With this I can conclude that B is actually smart and knows what he is doing. However, he acts like he is a short tempered hooligan in front of A.

This just tells me that A is the root cause of everything and that if he is removed then the things will be better.

Since I have not observed their group closely, I have no idea how A got to the position he is right now.

C is someone who clearly does not have power. Someone who can be molded into a different type by those who clearly have a type.

Having a type is something like having influence. Someone like me doesn't possess any direct influence but I've seen people change around me to fit my type overtime, so I do feel like I have some type of influence. But I cannot explain it, for it I'd need someone else to observe me.

My guess is that C just got involved with the wrong group. Had he gotten better friends he could've been in the "good-for-nothing" group right now.

C is a cheap actor. He acts as if he is one of them, trying to fit in but he clearly isn't able to so the real problem is A and B.

If someone wants to break this group the weakest bond is C. I am just a spectator. I don't get involved with things, I cannot actually try to break the group because I don't see a way to do so. Someone who is smarter than me might actually be able to.

The one time A got into a little argument with me was when this happened:

I answered something in class, well the entire class was silent and if you suddenly speak something loud it's only natural for people to turn around and look at you (I don't know why we do this, but it's a type of reflex).

So a few students including A did turn around to lool at me, obviously. With this I reflexly said, "Look front", this is yet another reflex.

Now, A who is super eager to get into arguments asked me "What did you say?", I wasn't gonna leave it at that so i reply with "Look front" yet again.

After which he speaks a few swear words (idk why this is so natural to them) and says that's he'll come and beat me up if I ever "order" like that.

Oh? well well... your boy isn't scared of shit, and so I did say "alright come on", he wasn't going to in middle of the class but after the class ended he came to my bench and then we had a little argument, in which to me it seemed I just embarrassed myself, it was only later that I realised that I had secretly won!

When he came back, he asked "Yea speak, what were you saying?"

"I asked you to turn around and face the teacher"

"Who are you to tell me what to do?"

"You were looking at me. I asked you to not look at me"

The way I framed this above sentence, well it does give the sense. In my native language it's kind of difficult to actually translate.

He was then quite for a while, after which I kept on hitting him with stulid things like "oh! I feel so insecure" and "I am so scared! I might just complain to faculty".

To me it seemed like I was embarrassing myself. After which he did back off. He looked rather unfazed? Well it's alright, I don't want involvement.

It was only later that I figured that I scared him away. I realised it because he used this very stupid line in the argument they were having outside (my friend an he).

"The way you just spoke those things in class has hurted me, also the way you stare at me from behind makes me uncomfortable"

excuse me, what the hell?

That "makes me uncomfortable" part is very similar to how I deal with arguments. Did he just try to copy what I did to him that one time?

I figured that in today's world if you have an innocent face and a physique which looks abusable you have access to certain rights which others don't.

For example a strong looking person saying something like "he punched me first" referring to someone who looks weaker makes no sense. But when the roles are reversed, people will agree on the fact that it indeed is true that the strong looking person could've punched the weak guy.

In the same way, my physical appearance makes me able to say things like "it makes me uncomfortable" but for someone like him to say that, it sounded stupid. He just embarrassed himself infront of the crowd of 10-15 people, though I don't think half of them understood what he said.

After which I sat down and pieced a few things together to reach to the conclusion that this guy is avoiding me because he thinks I am too good at arguments. That shouldn't be the case though, because he is too stupid to understand that!

Which then makes me think that maybe, just maybe he is just acting like a delinquent because it gives him so much attention. Yea that is also one of things possible.

29 Jan. let's keep it short. Nothing good happened, nothing bad happened either. The previous day matter was resolved.

I hit a new damage personal best in genshin. 3.6 million with my mavuika.

As for ptcg, they fixed a wonderpick glitch which was actively abused by the community. The community isn't happy with this because the trading feature that they introduced is also pretty trash.

This makes the game too much of a pay to win and makes it almost impossible for free to play players to ever complete collections.

Everything else is pretty much the regular.

Mors.