Uh-oh, Lch's Plan...
(A/N: Good morning! I'll take care of you guys later. The main character is taking a break from storytelling.)
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Smoothie
C h a p t e r : 4
The next day.
"Jessi, come on, plssssh~" I tried to convince him while making a pleading face at my phone, as if he was actually in front of me, complete with puppy eyes.
All I heard was Jessi sighing. A moment later, he spoke again.
[Lch, look to your left. You see that?]
I immediately did as he said—and my face instantly soured.
My busted-ass window.
"What about my holey window, huh?" I squinted. "—Omg, are you replacing it??? Wow, thank you—"
*Shattered noises!!*
[Home run!]
I screamed as a baseball suddenly smacked the side of my head. But I barely even registered the pain because my attention was completely stolen by the now newly shattered window.
[You good?]
The audacity.
He turned my head into a catcher's mitt and then asked, 'You good?'
"It was you, wasn't it?!" I accused him, my eyes narrowing.
[Wow, false accusations. That wasn't me! In fact, you should be thanking me since I made you look left, so your face didn't get hit, y'know?]
Is he for real???
I confirmed his claim when I saw a bunch of kids outside my house, pushing each other, arguing over who would retrieve the ball. And because I am kind and God says to be forgiving, I just threw it back before my mood got worse and I decided to file a police report on them.
Just wait until I can afford to file reports on kids.
"I'll say thank you if you agree to my request." I told Jessi again.
[You want another ball? I'll throw it myself—]
"No! It hurts—Jessi, come on, I already got hit by a ball, and you still won't agree. Huhuhu~" I guilt-tripped him.
[Your head needs that.]
What is my head? An appliance that starts working when you knock on it?
"Why are you like this? You know, I've noticed you keep picking fights with me." I pouted, pretending to be upset.
"Tsk. It's not that. Your head's just too damn hard." Jessi replied before abruptly hanging up.
"HO. HO. HO. HO." I let out a villainous laugh because, finally, I had convinced him.
As long as he doesn't say 'no, never, ew,' or any other rejection on the face of the earth, that means it's a yes.
I bet he'll say yes. He can't resist me.
One more thing I've noticed—whenever I act cute and clingy like a kid, Jessi gives in to what I want. I'm not even naturally clingy, I just have the mindset of a child, like ew, but I don't know with Jessi.
Does he like kids?
————
JESSI'S POV
I rolled my eyes while listening to her idea.
Is she delirious?
I was zoning out when my gaze landed on my telescope—pointed at Lch's house—and I sighed while eating popcorn. That's when I saw a ball flying toward the group of kids.
I suddenly smirked.
"Lch, look to your left. You see that?" I said, seriously analyzing the trajectory of the ball heading toward her house.
When I saw that the angle was slightly off, I immediately grabbed my crossbow.
10.6 seconds.
[What about my holey window, huh?—Omg, are you replacing it??? Wow, thank you—]
Don't worry, I'll add another.
I closed one eye and fired my crossbow at a 45° angle, hitting the side of the baseball so it would go exactly where I wanted it to.
A moment later, I quickly covered my mouth and stifled my laughter when I heard her scream.
Let's see if your brain still produces dumb ideas.
At that point, I couldn't hold it in anymore—I burst out laughing. "Home run!" I said, wiping away tears.
I laughed even harder when I saw her freeze up. If you all knew what I go through every day dealing with her mischief, this moment would feel like a breath of fresh air.
"You good?" I asked, grinning as I popped another piece of popcorn into my mouth to calm down.
["It was you, wasn't it?!"]
Lololol, not admitting it.
I smirked. "False accusations. That wasn't me! In fact, you should be thanking me since I made you look left, so your face didn't get hit, y'know?"
While waiting for her response, I left my room and placed my special customized crossbow back in its hidden wall compartment.
I know her tactics. Always.
Every favor has a different flavor.
In short, if Lch asks for help and I don't agree, she'll either argue like a damn lawyer or cause some kind of disaster that'll make your brain explode because you wouldn't expect her to actually go through with it.
I cursed under my breath as my shoulder suddenly ached.
"That kid has no mercy." I muttered.
She doesn't even act like someone who just got sick.
I was stretching when I heard something weird outside.
A scream?
My thoughts halted when she spoke again.
[I'll say thank you if you agree to my request?]
I stared blankly at the wall. "You want another ball? I'll throw it myself—"
[No! It hurts—Jessi, come on, I already got hit by a ball, and you still won't agree. Huhuhu~]
"Your head needs that."
It needs fixing.
[Why are you like this? You know, I've noticed you keep picking fights with me.]
I sighed. "Tsk. It's not that. Your head's just too damn hard." Then, I immediately hung up, knowing she'd whip out a whole wish list to get me to agree.
Damn it.
As I stepped into the sunlight, I looked out my large window and saw the beautiful sunflowers in my backyard.
Breathtaking.
I love this view. It makes me feel alive.
To be honest, I can refuse things like favors. But when Lch asks… who am I to say no?
If only her skull weren't so thick, I'd be totally fine and stress-free. But look at this.
I can't.
Paul is way too dangerous for her.
I've noticed it.
Before, Lch was like an unbreakable iceberg. Now, she's like a puppy willing to do anything for its owner. And that annoys me even more.
I was honestly hoping she'd get smacked in the head hard enough to wake up. Besides, that guy's attitude is so unbearable I just want to slam his face into the ground—but Lch still likes him.
"Ugh. Just thinking about it gives me a headache."
I swear, I'll take my last breath before she finally wises up.
A while later, someone in a black suit entered my room. He bowed before handing me an iPad.
"Sir, there's an issue in Ms. Lch's area."
I frowned and grabbed the tablet, instantly furious at what I saw.
I should've just tied her up.
I replayed the video multiple times, hoping it wasn't her, but it was obvious. You could clearly see the kids and household items outside turning into bowling pins after getting hit by a super-fast baseball from my ward's house.
"Aghhhh!!!" — Kid 1.
"Meowww!!!!!"
"Mama!!!!" — Kid 2.
"Arf!!! Arf!!! Arf!!!"
"O-ouch..." — Kid 3.
"Uwakk!!!!"
And many more.
It seemed like everything that could get hit was hit.
Who the fuck destroys a whole neighborhood with a baseball?!
I just clenched my jaw as I looked at the list of expenses my butler handed me for all the damage she caused. "Just swipe my card and make the neighborhood shut up. Also, ban all kinds of balls in this city." I said in a lifeless tone.
Yeah, I'll just go along with her suggestions before I completely lose my mind. Blowing off some steam outside of this life of ours might be a good idea for once.
"Argh, I know rubbing my temples like this won't help me relax. I'll just get ready to go to Lch and make her plans for her 'stupid a.k.a. darkness tamer' boyfriend."
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Third Person's POV
"What the f*ck are you wearing?"
"What? It looks good."
"No, it's not."
"Says who?"
"Me."
"Whatever."
That was how their conversation started, especially when Jessi saw what she was wearing.
FLASHBACK
"Yes, yes. Please just leave it in front of the door. Yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you!"
Lch was busy preparing her surprise for Paul, and it was honestly exhausting.
She couldn't handle it alone.
So, a while ago, she called Jessi (her best friend) for help—and of course, to get his opinion as well!
Ding!
She heard the oven timer go off, signaling that her cake and cookies were done baking.
At the same time, her favorite part of the song played, so she sang along.
"Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you~"
"A little bit of sugar but lots of poison too~"
She laughed while taking out her baked goods.
"Hmm~ Done!" She placed the cake and cookies on the table and took off her apron.
She checked the materials she would use, along with the other items she needed.
Reminder: Don't worry, no murder is going to happen. Haha… I hope not.
She went to her house's terrace to set up a table and two chairs.
For her and Jessi.
Yup, you read that right, folks. The decorations were for her and Jessi. But of course, the cake and cookies were for Paul.
#souvenirs.
She planned to pretend that she and Jessi were together, that she no longer liked Paul, and while Paul was in front of them, she and Jessi would act sweet toward each other.
At the end of it all, she would say, 'It's not you. It's me.' while dramatically showing that she, too, was hurting for them both.
Honestly, this wasn't really necessary.
She just felt like doing it.
She covered the table with a red cloth and set up balloons, decorations, candles, utensils, and table napkins.
After that, she went back inside to get the food but passed by a large mirror and caught a glimpse of herself.
Her eyes widened. "I look so sweaty."
So she took a bath.
She used her most fragrant shampoo, soap, conditioner, and body wash.
Scrub here, scrub there.
"All my life, I've been good, but now? Whoa WHAT THE HELL! Yeah!"
After that, she shaved her armpits—and, of course, you know what else.
She applied scented oil to her body and put on light makeup. No need for heavy makeup since she already had perfect features.
She curled her hair to add a little wildness to her look.
When she finally looked at her reflection and felt satisfied, she moved on to choosing her outfit.
She was in a mischievous mood. She didn't care what she was doing anymore. She might as well use her clothes to their fullest.
And for the act to be believable, it had to look like Lch really put in extra effort for Jessi.
She didn't even want to ask Jessi for help because she couldn't imagine—
The two of them—
"Blegh!" She felt like throwing up at the thought.
She laid out on her bed the things that she knew would someday give her nightmares.
She stared at them.
She laughed. She knew not only Paul would be annoyed, but Jessi, too.
It was like hitting two birds with one stone.
The problem was that one of them wasn't a bird.
He was a worm.
Because our protagonist is a bit crazy, here's what she planned to wear:
✔ Black lingerie
✔ Red fitted pencil skirt backless dress with a slit
✔ Stilettos
Where did she get these?
Even I'm wondering that. Whatever, it's her problem.
She grinned.
Finally, she could try being super gorgeous.
Not that she wasn't already.
It was her first time wearing something like this, and she was proud of herself for making progress.
She put on her outfit and checked herself in the mirror.
"Wow. Is that really me?"
Knock, knock, knock!
"He's here!"
Lch rushed down the stairs.
She nearly tripped multiple times because of her heels.
Well, she brought this upon herself.
"If I get pissed off enough, I swear I'll throw these heels at Paul's head." She shook her head as she headed for the door.
She almost tripped again. "Damn these heels. It's like my foot and leg bones are separating. I don't know if I was a guy in my past life and just got stuck in the wrong body."
(A/N I, on the other hand, got stuck with the wrong person. Jk. Anyways. )
As she somehow made it down safely, the knocking continued.
Knock, knock, knock, knock!!!!
"Tsk."
She already knew which idiot was knocking as if he owned the house.
She opened the door.
"Ready to—Oh."
Jessi dropped his favorite strawberry smoothie.
Oops.
Not just the smoothie.
His jaw dropped, too.
"WHAT ON FUCKING EARTH ARE YOU WEARING, LCH?!"
END OF FLASHBACK.
Yikes.
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