The Fleet-Footed Princess: :6

She came back to a cold touch on her cheek and wasted the little energy her short nap had recovered shrieking like a child when her eyes snapped open and found a dead rat an inch from her face.

She jerked back, falling on a root that stabbed in her back, "OW! Damn it, Xiasha!"

The little dog followed her, dead rat clutched in its teeth and tail-stump wagging. The rat was most definitely dead. Jaw agape, blood in its teeth, organs seeping out of holes from Xiasha's teeth.

Meihua gagged, for the first time she was thankful there was nothing in her stomach. "Oh gods, did you touch me with that?!"

She scrubbed at her cheek, which only gave Xiasha the opening to climb into her lap with its trophy.

Meihua gagged. "Ew, get off!" She tried to shove Xiasha off her lap, but the little thing tried to push the dead rat into her hand whenever it came close. "That's so gross. Go eat it somewhere else."

Xiasha barked around the rat, blood and drool dripped onto Meihua's lap.

"Oh god, take it away. Please!"

Xiasha tried to give her the rat again.

 "I'm not eating that. It's not even cooked, eat it yourself!"

Xiasha blinked up at her with those blue, blue eyes. It'd be cute if there was a dead rat an inch below.

"How cruel."

"It's not-" Meihua froze.

That was not her voice.

And it wasn't Xiasha's. Obviously.

It was the first voice she'd heard in days that wasn't her own. Cold as ice and twice as sharp.

 She turned. The man that emerged from the shadows was barely a man at all. Sure, he looked like one. Tall and lithe, and draped in a midnight blue cloak and black leather. His hair was so dark it blended in with the shadows, while his eyes were so light they seemed to glow. Hawkish features betrayed his origins, there was no way he was from anywhere in the Land of Song and Snow or the Wasteland further south and his features were darker than most in Land of Sorrow.

From across the lake? Or West of the Spine?

Why was he here?

He felt…

He felt…like death. The air around him cold and still and deep in a way she'd never experienced before.

She was so surprised and terrified, she just blinked stupidly as he moved closer.

Something deep inside her stirred, called out to her to run, but she had no strength.

And he laughed, like he knew.

Xiasha dropped the rat in Meihua's lap to snarl, pressing close, and so scared it peed all over itself and her.

Meihua managed to squeak out, "Go away." Not that it had any effect.

"You're an hour from death and turning away food?" He stopped a few feet away. "Truly a sheltered princess."

Despite her weakness, her pride sparked. "It's a dead rat."

"It's food. That pathetic little thing killed itself to being it to you and your turning it away to starve yourself." He shook his head, reminding her terribly of Kang Su, "You should have stayed in the palace if you were going to die so easily."

Meihua started snarl, but then his words sank in. Distracted from the danger, she turned to the little dog, still shaking in her lap but attempting to stand between her and the man from the shadows anyway.

She snapped, defensive. "It's fine, just hungry. That's why it should eat the rat."

All the man did was snort in amusement, "He's as weak as you are and used the last of his strength to catch that for you. He'll be gone by sunrise."

A pained noise clawed itself out of Meihua's throat as he crouched down and reached for Xiasha. "I could put him out of his misery now."

He smiled with his teeth and Meihua bared her own, snatching Xiasha into her arms before he could touch it. The instinct stirring inside her felt like a like growing storm, a knot in her chest that kept spinning faster and faster, growing larger and larger. She felt like she could take on the world if it could just keep growing.

But it was also painful. Moving aside what had been there before to make room for itself.

"You're quite funny, Sheltered Princess."

Meihua snarled at him, clutching Xiasha to her chest.

"You want to live, but you won't eat. Your pet suffers for you, but you won't ease its suffering. Perhaps you belong in the palace you're running from."

"I don't!" It burst out of her with a strength that surprised both of them. "I do not belong there. I am not evil. I've never hurt anyone. I don't want Xiasha to suffer. I just…I can save him. Her. It."

The man from the shadows raised an expressive eyebrow. "Him."

Meihua looked down at Xiasha in surprise, "Him?"

"Him and that's doubtful."

"I don't belong there. I haven't done anything." Tears welled up, the same thoughts that had filled her mind the night of her wedding. "I'm not a bad person. I haven't done anything. I don't deserve to be imprisoned there for the rest of my life!"

Xiasha whimpered in her grip, climbing up her chest to lick at the tears dripping down her chin.

He laughed at her, "Oh Princess, no one cares whether you deserve it or not. They care about their own comfort. That the luck of your blessings doesn't dimmish their own. That you're not going to have power over them. People are inherently selfish and cowardly, Meihua. They fear anyone being better off than they are, and they want nothing more than that which belongs to someone else."

"But that's not fair!" Meihua howled, "I haven't done anything wrong."

He waved a dismissive hand. "Fair is a made-up concept that only applies when the more powerful person is feeling generous. Besides, it's not about what you have done. It's about what you could do. A year from now, you could turn into a worse person than your grandfather."

"I won't." She'd never spoken with such conviction before. She was never going to be like Mao Wudu, whose very name and face had been struck from the official records

"They'll never believe you."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not about you. It's about them."

"So I have to be imprisoned to make them feel better?"

"Yes." He said it almost cheerfully.

"I refuse!" Meihua hissed and Xiasha barked in support.

"I don't care." He shrugged. "It's not my problem."

Meihua sputtered, "Well, I don't care that you don't care. I'm not going back! And you're not taking Xiasha!"

"How are you going to stop me?" He reached towards her, playfully, but Meihua slapped his hand away with vicious intent.

He was toying with her, Meihua realized. She had no real strength left. Whatever Qi she had, whatever was building in her chest was still weak and unfocused.

She couldn't even be sure she wasn't still asleep and dreaming this whole thing.

Or she was awake and hallucinating.

He certainly felt real, but you never knew did you?

Maybe Xiasha wasn't in her arms, but off in the trees.

Maybe Xiasha wasn't real at all. Maybe she'd just imagine meeting the little beast entirely.

Maybe she'd never actually left the palace.

She hadn't…

She'd only thought about it briefly, just for a second, she would never actually…

No.

She was alive.

She was here.

This was real.

Xiasha was real.

Death was real and standing right in front of her, offering to take her home. "Why don't I take you home, Sheltered Little Princess? Back to where you belong?"

"I don't belong there anymore. I'll find a new life somewhere else. I'll learn to do something useful." Meihua insisted, growing more determined with every word. She wasn't stupid. She could learn…. something.

He, Death because she was pretty certain that's who he was, didn't look convinced. "Even if I let you go," he said. "You're not going to last any longer than that little thing. You're practically dead already."

Something cold sank into her bones. The storm in her chest stuttered. "What?"

"You've been running non-stop for days with no food, no water. How did you think you lasted this long?"

She stared at him. The storm in her chest stopped and started.

"It's your magic Princess. And a bit of your Qi."

"I have magic and Qi?"

He was starting to look a little exasperated. "Yes."

"They're different things?"

"Now I want to kill you for being stupid."

"How was I supposed to know? No one ever told me that!"

"Do you only know what people tell you?"

She opened her mouth to argue but quickly shut it again.

"If I tell you tea tastes like coffee, will you then believe that they're the same?"

"You've made your point." She growled.

"Good. I'd hate to think Xiasha died for someone who couldn't tell the difference between water and beans and water and leaves."

Maybe she should kill him, her anger rising like a tidal wave.

"There you go," he purred, "You won't survive in this world without being angry."

"I was already angry, you just made it worse. Leave us at once."

"Giving me orders now? How cute." But he stepped closer, not away. "Don't ever forget that life is not fair, Princess. If I think you're wasting this life, I'm going to drag you back to that palace to die in chains."

"Why do you care what I do with my life?"

"Because I gave you that life and if you waste it, I'm going to be very, very angry." His voice deepened with every word, until it was booming so loud it shook the trees. "Now eat the rat."

Meihua gaped, "What?"

"Eat and I won't drag you back to the Inner Palace."

Horrified, Meihua glanced at the broken body of the rat.

"Nothing about survival is pretty, Meihua. Survival is a person at their absolute worst. If you don't value yourself enough to survive, why should anyone else?"

In her arms, Xiasha whimpered as he reached for her.

"Wait!" Meihua snatched the rat, gagging at the feel of wet fur and smooth organs against her fingers.

She stared at the broken little body in her hand, bile rising. What had she done to deserve this?

Xiasha pawed at her arm as she lifted the rat.

"Eat or prison," he said.

Meihua ripped the flesh from the dead rat with her teeth. Wet fur and dirt stuck to her tongue and between her teeth. The tang of blood slid over her tongue and down her throat.

She heaved but managed to swallow in time.

Xiasha's stumpy little tail wagged.

Her second bite hit bone. Fragile little things, they splintered under her teeth, cutting into her gums and inside of her cheeks.

She had to force herself to chew a few times before swallowing and it still got stuck in her throat. She choked, swallowed a few times and managed to get it down.

Xiasha whimpered, pawing gently at her.

She took another bite.

Then another.

And another.

Until there was nothing but the head and tail and the spine between them.

She threw it at him, watching it leave smears on his shirt as it fell. Then she learned over and heaved, felt the drop in the back of her throat and the constriction in her chest.

"Well, well, didn't think you had it in you, Princess." He brushed pieces of muscle and tissue off his shirt. "You might survive on your own after all."

Saliva and bile dripped from her mouth, "Fuck you." She'd never used the word before, but she'd heard plenty of guards and servants mutter it.

It seemed fitting now.

He reached towards Xiasha, but Meihua snatched him up. "I won. I ate the stupid rat. We had a deal."

"It was moments ago, I remember." His voice was dry, amused. I won't take you back."

"You can't have Xiasha either."

"Xiasha will be dead by dawn. Wouldn't it be easier if I took him now?"

"No! Xiasha didn't do anything."

"Creatures die, that the entire point of living."

"Then I'll save him!" It burst out of her as the storm in her chest reignited. She had no power to fight death. He said she had Qi, but Meihua couldn't feel it. Couldn't use it.

He stared down at her.

Meihua clutched Xiasha to her chest and the little dog tucked its face against her neck and stilled.

Meihua's heart pounded.

Death smiled with his teeth, "Run."

And she did.

~ End of the Fleet-Footed Princess ~

Stay tuned for An Ordinary Life next!