and unusual, but she also knew that in spite of some facility and much
good teaching she had no genuine talent and never would fulfill the
expectations of her friends. She looked back upon her mother's girb
hood with positive envy because it was so full of happy industry and
extenuating obstacles, with undisturbed opportunity to believe that
her talents were unusual. The girl looked wistfully at her mother, but
had not the courage to cry out what was in her heart: "1 might believe
I had unusual talent if I did not know what good music was; I might
enjoy half an hour's practice a day if I were busy and happy the rest of
the time. You do not know what life means when all the difficulties are
removed! I am simply smothered and sickened with advantages. It is
like eating a sweet dessert the first thing in the morning."
This, then, was the difficulty, this sweet dessert in the morning and
the assumption that the sheltered, educated girl has nothing to do
with the bitter poverty and the social maladjustment which is all about
her, and which, after all, cannot be concealed, for it breaks through
poetry and literature in a burning tide which overwhelms her; it peers
at her in the form of heavy-laden market women and underpaid street
laborers, gibing her with a sense of her uselessness.
1 recall one snowy morning in Saxe-Coburg, looking from the window of our little hotel upon the town square, that we saw crossing and
recrossing it a single file of women with semicircular heavy wooden
tanks fastened upon their backs. They were carrying in this primitive
fashion to a remote cooling room these tanks filled with a hot brew
incident to one stage of beer making. The women were bent forward,
not only under the weight which they were bearing, but because the
tanks were so high that it would have been impossible for them to have
lifted their heads. Their faces and hands, reddened in the cold morning air, showed clearly the white scars where they had previously been
scalded by the hot stuff which splashed if they stumbled ever so little
on their way. Stung into action by one of those sudden indignations
against cruel conditions which at times fill the young with unexpected
energy, I found myself across the square, in company with mine host,
interviewing the phlegmatic owner of the brewery who received us
with exasperating indifference, or rather received me, for the innkeeper mysteriously slunk away as soon as the great magnate of the
town began to speak. I went back to a breakfast for which I had lost my
appetite, as I had for Gray's "Life of Prince Albert" and his wonderful