Chapter 11: Breaking Up

When I returned home, I saw that I had received numerous text messages from Sansula. He was apologizing profusely for what had happened, but I couldn't bring myself to read them all—there were over twenty messages in total. In each one, he reassured me that he didn't want to marry Maria and saw her as nothing more than a sister.Despite my lingering doubts, I chose to forgive him and give him another chance, which seemed to lift his spirits. Unfortunately for both of us, he and his family were leaving for the Netherlands the next day, and that meant we wouldn't have the chance to see each other again.Ever since he returned to the Netherlands, Sansula has felt distant—not just physically, but emotionally too. His responses to my messages have become slower, and he no longer texts me as much as he used to.To make matters worse, he once called me "Maria" by accident. The slip-up hurt, and I couldn't help but feel a growing sense of distrust. I complained to him about it, but his replies were always delayed, as he was apparently busy with the Dutch Military Youth Division (DMYD). His commitments there seemed to take priority, leaving me feeling even more isolated.Then, one day, Maria sent me a picture of him looking cozy with a female soldier—Zephyrine Adelman, a beautiful and well-known Dutch girl who also happens to be the daughter of the prime minister. I couldn't help but feel inadequate. How could I ever compare to someone like her? She seemed perfect in every way, while I felt invisible. Sansula never seemed to understand how insecure I felt about my own appeal.I complained about it, of course. He reassured me that Zephyrine was just a fellow soldier, but something about the way they looked together made me question his words. We ended up arguing again.Frustrated, he finally said, "Maybe we should just stop talking to each other." The words stung deeply. He was my best friend, the one person I had been falling for, and now I was on the verge of losing him.Sansula lives in Amsterdam, and I live in Tilburg. The Netherlands may be a small country, but our cities aren't close enough for us to see each other regularly. And with his constant busyness, I often wonder if he even has time for me.What exactly is keeping him so busy? Is it school? The military? Or worse, is it Zephyrine or Maria? Maybe I'm just not interesting enough for him. After all, I have no hobbies or passions, unlike Maria, who's as beautiful as Haniya, as graceful as Maeve, and as driven as Benesha. How could I possibly compete with that?I should have known better. Why would anyone choose to like me? How could someone fall in love with me, or even enjoy spending time with me?It's a bitter realization. Sansula is the only thing I've ever felt truly invested in, the one person who caught my attention and made me feel something. And now it feels like I'm about to lose him.I decided to ghost Sansula for a while. This happened in March 2029. Then, on April 15th, my 17th birthday, I received a message from him wishing me a happy birthday. I thanked him, keeping things brief.He asked if he could call me, but I declined. Instead, I asked how he was doing."I'm fine," he replied. "But I wonder why you suddenly disappeared, Mandane.""Huh?""I told you I wouldn't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with. Did I do something wrong? Or do I still come off as distant to you?""I don't know," I replied, feeling a bit lost. "I've started to think that I've been playing with you this whole time. That's my answer to your declaration of love."He begged me to keep talking to him, but even though I clearly expressed that I didn't feel the same way, he kept reaching out. After a week or two, though, he blocked me. I guess he couldn't bear it anymore.I felt like such an idiot. I should have blocked him myself the moment Maria showed up...In the meantime, I applied to a new school—the Utrecht Metropolitan Self-Development School in the City of Utrecht, a modern institution built by the Dutch government. It was an ambitious project, an entire self-sustaining campus with dormitories, shopping centers, and more, all designed to keep the students on school grounds.The school had cutting-edge facilities, from advanced laboratories to recreational areas, all geared toward supporting the development of its students. The mission was to help young Dutch people realize their full potential, like diamonds in the rough, waiting to shine.After summer vacation ended, I found myself walking onto the school grounds with my suitcase in hand on Monday, August 26th, 2030. Just as I was adjusting to the reality of this new chapter in my life, a very familiar voice called out my name."Mandane?"I turned around to see none other than my sister, Benesha, standing there.